Spring is upon us, Easter is coming soon, and baseball season is about to begin here in the U.S. It is the time of year many people wear all sorts of hats until winter hats are again needed. Actually, this topic has been on my mind for months, waiting for just the right month to do it, and here it is!
Indoors: So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, at church, a funeral, in a classroom, in a museum, at a movie or performance theatre… on and on. There is absolutely no purpose to keeping your hat on… not even when you are having a bad hair day or need to cover up a bald spot on your head. It’s all about when it’s proper or not proper to wear a hat. It’s purely out of laziness and a false sense of looking cool and in fashion… not! There is equally nothing cool about wearing your baseball cap backward… again especially indoors.
Except In Public Places: You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators. However, historically a gentleman will always remove his hat when a lady enters or is in the same elevator. We don’t see this much anymore. When in an apartment building, even though somewhat public, gentlemen will take off their hats while in the company of ladies… another dying art.
[SIDE BAR: A foreign visitor kept seeing Americans wearing their baseball caps indoors, and at times backward. He determined this style indicated a direct correlation to the wearer’s apparent I.Q (intelligence quotient). Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backward meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left? These findings make total sense to me.]
During a Pledge or National Anthem: Another major peeve of mine is how men and women don’t take off their hats and caps during the playing of a national anthem. Regardless of which country’s anthem is played, hats must come off, period. Parents… please train your kids!
During a Prayer at a Ceremony or Event: Display your respect and take off your hat.
In Places of Worship: Some places of worship require head coverings for both men and women, such as Muslim mosques and Sikh temples. Do your research or ask someone before entering such places of worship. Women should always pack one large scarf and one long skirt when traveling internationally for such a need to cover their heads. I sure needed them in both Mexico and Greece.
At a Church: Historically churches required women to wear hats or scarves. Now, it is not as required. However, some churches encourage women to wear hats, and in some places, it has become quite a lovely display across the entire sanctuary. It is considered disrespectful for men to wear hats in a Christian church.
At a Jewish Synagogue or Temple: Men are required to cover their heads with a “yarmulke,” a small round skullcap, also called a “kippah,” meaning dome or cupola. There is great symbolism and deep meaning behind wearing a yarmulke. Observant men wear theirs during all waking hours, except when bathing and swimming. Doing so bears witness to their faith. It’s a constant reminder of their humility before God and strong belief in something greater than themselves.
How to Take off a Hat: When taking off your hat, hold it so only the outside of the hat shows, not the inside and lining. Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart, or place it on your seat while standing tall and respectfully.
Exceptions
People in Uniform: People in the military, Boy Scouts, police, and people in other uniformed organizations keep their hats on during “full dress.” Many other interesting regulations about hat-wearing in the military exist, so hat etiquette is a required course in the military.
People with religious and medical requirements. In this instance, people will choose specific head coverings that may be worn anywhere, indoors and out.
Women’s Fashion Hats: Traditionally, women wearing fashion hats are not required to take them off when indoors. That said, unless they are small and tight around the head, they too should be removed when at a dining table. at a theatre, sporting event, or other places where they may hamper someone’s view or be disruptive to others. Large hats are generally for the outdoors, not indoors. Think hat civility!
Question of the month: Have you ever been the subject of or a witness to someone being disrespectful or rude by wearing their hat inappropriately? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Enter your comments and questions below for me to reply.
Happy Practicing!
Syndi,
Please remind gentlemen that a baseball cap, when it comes off, should NEVER be placed on a dining table. I have seen people do this in restaurants. Who wants to sit near their smelly, sweaty hat/
Michele Patrick
Michele, you are absolutely correct about never placing baseball caps on the dining table. This is also true for women’s purses and most importantly cell phones! Thanks for writing.
Syndi,
Where is your proof that people who wear hats have a lower I.Q. You say you’re about respect, but that is an absurd accusation to hold on someone. I personally don’t wear hats, but it is unacceptable to call someone out for such a medieval practice. Hat doffing is out dated and absolutely ridiculous.
Spencer Blair
Hello Spencer: If I didn’t make myself clear… the comment about IQ was a joke.
Hey Syndi Seed, uh no.
You see, a joke is funny, what you did is called beating a dead horse.
Surprisingly, the all female hat task force, somehow forgot about PETA and the Equine Union.
I find that women who talk about gentlemen this gentlemen that rarely look lady like. They also come in these scary Tim Burton monster like shapes were their stomach is a third shape or growth/ tumor under their waist band. Most of them have their fathers face with their mothers body. Unfortunately, Some of them don't even get their mothers body.
Its funny that The woman who talks about I.Q. Has let her entire life has amount to a Try hard, over zealous "Etiquette" website. filled with Women that honestly have NFL Linemen Bodies. And wear their grandmother's wardrobe. You were born in the 70's stop dressing like you lived through the depression you dusty yeasty woman.
I totally agree. I'm bald and wear a hat to keep my head worm
That is because this is ridiculous and outdated, there is no modern reason to take off your hat ever. This is an arbitrary rule/recommendation . If you are offended because somebody is wearing a hat you need a lobotomy. Keeping your hat off of the table is just another reason to keep it on your head.
My daughter has a wonderful boy friend who is educated, kind and handsome. He wears his baseball
cap( no he isn’t a pro baseball player) indoors and even at the dining table. I told my daughter that was improper and actually rude. Of course she called me the “b” word. I even told her that those caps were invented to keep the sun out of ballplayers eyes so we’re completely unnecessary in a building. She won’t say any thing to him about it , so I asked if I could send him a gentle email. To me, it shows an ignorance of polite social norms and , frankly, in my opinion makes him look like a dumb redneck. No offense, sort of.
Hello Janet:
As you no doubt have seen, there are multiple opinions on this subject.
Here’s my final answer when it comes to wearing a hat in someone’s private residence/home: It’s up to the owner/host, who has full rights to ask their guests to please remove their hat when in the house. What someone else allows in their home is equally up to them.
Some people require folks to take off their shoes when in the house, and others don’t. Some households don’t allow smoking in the house, others do. Whether allowed to wear a hat in a home, or not, is no different. It’s all about respecting the host and their wishes.
Here's the thing. Asking to remove shoes, or not allowing smoking are completely reasonable as they have practical and negative impact on the condition of the home.
Asking someone to remove their hat solely because it offends you and nothing more is outdated and very revealing of how intelligent the offended person truly is.
If someone still believes that these practices have any value in society, then they clearly aren't smart enough to keep up with the rest of humanity.
Hello NiK: We live in a society where kindness and respect should be the prevailing sentiment, regardless of being old-fashioned, or otherwise based solely on your own beliefs. I respect your beliefs and choices to wear a hat in your own home or in someone else’s home if they choose. All that’s meant here was to respect others in their home no matter what. Thank you!
A gentleman would never wear a baseball cap. the ghastliness.
Josh: In modern times, I see nothing wrong with a gentlemen to wear a baseball cap to appropriate events, such as outdoor sporting events. I think of my husband as a gentleman and he has worn them.
I was recently at my brother-in-law’s funeral and saw many men there wearing their hat in the church.
Last week, I went to a winemaker’s dinner where a young man asked to join the table with his baseball hat still on his head. My freind said ” Yes, take off your hat.” He did and we had a wonderful time.
Marti, bravo to your friend for asking the person to remove his hat before taking a seat at the dining table. I wish more people would say something to these obviously clueless offenders. This is truly among my very top pet peeves whenever I see it happening in restaurants. I’ve often threatened to walk around the restaurant to alert the offenders.
I have been wearing baseball cap for 7years day ,everybody, anytime and anywhere…it's just my thing. There is nothing wrong
Joe: Absolutely, there is nothing wrong with wearing a baseball cap 24/7 if a person chooses. The point of the article was to point out being mindful and respectful of situations where it is best to take it off your hat… i.e. during the singing of a national anthem, through an indoor funeral service, or wedding, etc. Thanks for the comment.
It's just WASPy… and outdated. The IQ thing was a bad joke. So much for real manners.
Anna: I admit the IQ joke is a bad one. I thought to delete it, yet I appreciate everyone seeing it and commenting on it. Thank uou!
Thank you for writing this much needed article.
Unfortunately, many people are more concerned with being comfortable and casual – than being respectful and polite.
That takes a lot of nerve to think you Havre the right to tell somebody to take off their hat. How disrespectful your friend behaved. Unbelievable.
No, he asked if he could sit down, and that was OK provided he took of his hat. He was not told, but asked to remove his hat, and then he was invited to join.
Hi Syndi,
I always learn something from your tips! Thanks!
I thought there was an etiquette rule that women should not wear a hat after 5 PM – I suppose that means in the evening. You didn’t mention this “rule.” Am I misinformed?
Also, I heard a couple years ago (but I can’t quote the source) that women did not have to remove their hats for the national anthem, such as at a sporting event. Perhaps that falls under your “Women’s Fashion Hats” category. But I’ll remove mine at the ball game from now on anyway.
Claire Koenig
Claire: Rules change over time. What may have been proper in times past may or may not be accurate in the 21st century. The trend in today’s etiquette is to have guidelines that are overall universal to both men and woman. Historically women never wore hats designed for men… such as a fedora or baseball cap. Today both men and women wear the same type hats. You are correct when a woman is wearing a hat that was fashioned for women only, she does not have to remove her hat during a national anthem… as in the case of Aretha Franklin during the inauguration of President Obama. Yet, bottom-line is… why all this fuss? Why can’t everyone (civilians) simply take off their hats—no matter what—as a sign of respect? The trend as I see it is toward “The K.I.S.S. method”… (Keep It Simple… well, you know). Hope this helps. Thanks for writing.
The only thing with wearing fashion hats is hat hair. My rule is…once a hat’s on for an event, it’s on for the day.
Something I always try to remember is when greeting people in public outside that I remove my hat during the greeting, regardless of sex. Also, and I know it always bugged you – if I wear it in the office I always removed it when a visitor walked in, even delivery.
Dave, great to hear from you. I’m truly glad to hear you do take your hat off… “regardless of sex.” Most people would agree it is poor manners to keep your hat on during sex. Nevertheless, in the context you were writing I think the correct meaning you wanted to convey was that you always take off your hat “regardless of gender.” Glad to know you will be doing it right in both instances. Have a great weekend!
786 Actually, he was correct. “Gender” is specifically a term used for grammar; “sex” is the proper noun to use for the actual, well, sex of a person or animal. It has become fashionable in recent decades for people to use the former word when they really mean the latter: this does not, however, make Dave’s use of the noun “sex” incorrect.
Lol.. Of course. I had a feeling that might be interpreted, er, differently. However, I strive for providing the appropriate etiquette entertainment.
Syndi,
I appreciate how you have addressed this sartorial issue. Wearing the baseball cap everywhere has been a pet peave of mine for some time. I will share your article on my facebook and twitter pages.
Karen Hickman
Karen: Please share away! Thank you! I appreciate your taking time to write and to share this important information. Let’s just hope it makes a difference to even one reader in this entire planet.
Where does one place one’s hat when seated at a table in a restaurant?
Dear Alma:
Good question. The answer in general is not on the dining table. Beyond this it is up to you where you choose to place your hat, including on the chair next to you, on your chairback, on your lap, or on top of or in your backpack or briefcase… perhaps even having it checked with coat check. It is tough, but it cannot be on the table or on your head. If anyone has any other “good” ideas, do share! Good luck.
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Anyone wishing to share our blog is most welcome. We welcome the promotion!
I am from the south and have been raised with the understanding that men do not wear hats inside the house, at the dinner table nor at church. While my husband, who was raised in Ohio, agrees about not wearing at church, he thinks I am being ridiculous about asking him to remove his hat when we are having a meal together. He said he had never heard of that. It is refreshing to read on this website what I have always been taught concerning hat etiquette. Thank you.
Connie, bravo! Keep up the good work with not allowing your husband to wear a hat while you are having a meal together. Unless you are outdoors, I see no purpose to anyone wearing a hat indoors during a meal… except if you are a woman wearing a small chapeau though a luncheon or afternoon tea.
My daughter loves your post!She and I have the same interest b the way. 🙂
Elicia, great to have you and your daughter viewing our blogs. We’d love to have you as a regular subscriber. Do sign up!
As a biker I wear the head gear commonly referred to as a skull cap or doo rag. It’s basically a headband with a top on it. I think it is treated the same way a woman’s scarf would be treated during a party or a quick prayer before going on a motorcycle ride. So the guy’s head gear, unless it’s a hat, doesn’t need to be removed during these casual events. Bikers tend to have their own set of rules in general but I’m very curious about how you all feel about it.
What say you?
Regarding skull caps, motorcycle helmets, and other head gear, I tend to agree that it does not need to be removed during an outdoor prayer at an event related to that sport. Beyond this, if you are indoors or—for instance—a baseball game during a national anthem, then the same rules applies with taking off your hat. What amazes me is why people keep trying to find “a way out” for doing something that should be no big deal… to take your hat off for just a few minutes out of courtesy and respect. Why is this so difficult to handle? The answer in my opinion is pure and simple “laziness.” Thank you for the comment and conversation.
I have alopecia, a genetic condition that means that I have bald spots scattered around my head and no eyebrows. I wear a skull cap in an attempt to avoid having to discuss my individual circumstances with each of the 7 billion other people on this planet. I find it entirely offensive that I should have to remove my cap anywhere for any reason that is not of my own choosing. I personally abhor anyone and everyone who imagines that I am offending them by attempting to be more comfortable in my own body. Who are any of you to tell me how to dress? What am I doing to offend you all exactly? Every day I have to drag a razor over my scalp so that the patches of hair and the bald spots at least look even for a few hours until the hair becomes noticeable again. Ultimately, its none of your business what I am wearing or why, so leave me in peace!
Tom,
Couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for voicing the other side of the argument, that it’s no one else’s bleeping business what another individual does, as long as they’re not personally impacting or violating them in some way. It’s called freedom of expression, people. This world needs to learn to be more tolerant of others and not so goddamed offended at everything that doesn’t fit into their narrow, pathetic definition of what’s acceptable or not.
Nope, with all do respect Gary. Tom asked a question and it was pretty much skimmed over. If its just respect and universal etiquette, where is his answer? Earlier post says it dont matter if your this and that (balding etc..) Answer Toms question please. Thank you.
I have the same problem, and I use a wig.
Mr Tom, I am very sorry to learn about your particular situation and truly wish you the best. A late, dear, uncle of mine (rest in peace) had a very similar problem and he found a very clever way to deal with it. He wore a skull cap made of a light material underneath a regular sports cap which made him (completely) free to keep the skull cap on after he had removed the outer hat because, not only it showed others that he respected them but also (implicitly) it would let them know there was also (some) especial/particular reason for him to keep his head covered; and (although he was just as honest and unashamed of having issues that proved him to be as Human as everyone else is, as you are) no-one ever dared to ask him what the reason was. The reason why it is customary to remove one’s hat indoors (especially when visiting someone’s home and/or having a meal) is this: When one is welcomed under someone else’s roof, the good, traditional, warm sense of hospitality is (usually) being granted to one and it is (implicitly) a bit insulting to keep one’s head covered as if to say that one does not respect the protection from the (outdoor, natural) elements being provided by the (however humble) roof of one’s guest(s) and/or that one does not mean to stay in that place for, one single, solitary, second longer than the absolutely necessary amount of time it may take to do whatever one went there to do. Obviuosly one should also never insult one’s guest (or anyone else) be openly and blatantly reproaching them (especially in public) so when any of my friends happens to pop by my (very poor but clean and honest) house wearing a hat and forgets to take it off, all I do is point out the hanger nearby the door and say something like: “There is the hanger, if you’d like to rest you hat?” or “Would you like for me to rest your hat there?” so far no-one (including my late uncle) has ever refused this invitation but, if they had shown any signs of not agreeing with me, I would (obviously) not insist upon the matter any more. Again, I wish you the best.
It is not pure and simple. Some have legit reasons. If these reasons are not apparent to you, it is your issue, not theirs.
The lowest form of etiquette is to correct anybody publicly, be they kith, kin or unknown.
Why are you amazed? Shouldn’tit be “no big deal” to leave a hat on? This arbitrary rule is absurd. I could see taking a sombrero off because it could get in the way but anything else is absurd.
Ryan:
I relate to why you think it is absurd to think wearing a hat in various situations is wrong or inappropriate. It all stems from being aware and sensitive to time-honored traditions within various cultures that make the difference. It is a big deal when a person wears certain forms of hats at a wedding (i.e. fedora, or baseball cap). Most hats were invented for outdoor use to shade the sun. They have no place in being worn at certain indoor events when it’s unnecessary to have that hat on. It’s all about taking time to be aware of what’s appropriate and what’s not in society. I hope this helps, and thanks again for writing. It shows you care about learning what’s the right thing to do. Happy Practicing!
ugh, met a guy at a nightclub last night and he was otherwise very nice. HOWEVER, he was wearing a baseball cap the entire time…and that is what is keeping me from calling him today. i feel like guys that wear caps are hiding something; not just physically (like balding or an ugly face) but psychologically they are blocking themselves off…and i never want to find out if what they are hiding is bad or not..i just get the hell away.
TayRiley: I have to say, even as a guy who wears ball caps and other head gear routinely, a nightclub may not be the best place to wear one IF you are trying to attract someone of the opposite sex.
On the other hand; if someone wants to be left alone by the opposite sex it sounds, by your comments, that it’s a great idea! Wear a hat and be left alone if that’s what your thing is. I’m going to have to remember this trick. Sometimes I like to just people watch and what better way to be left alone and look incognito!!
This subject has me intrigued I must admit.
Great job on the blog, it looks outstanding. I am going to save it and will make sure to check weekly
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So to me, it seems there are a huge number of rules regarding when it is or is not appropriate to remove a cap (especially the inconsistencies with men vs. women wearing hats).
We live in the 21st century. Most ‘cap ettequite’ concepts were popularized well before the current age we live in and in some cases in another region than we grew up in (Re: southern woman with Ohio born husband). Now, what strikes me as odd, is why there are so many seemingly contradictory rules within these ettequite guidelines. It’s as though this was written in the 1950’s and simply transcribed with modern text to fit in the proper context (and no doubt written by a woman).
I ask the same as only one of the replies above. Why so many gender based inconsistencies? Women seem to be able to wear hats at almost any hour, in any context that they want, as long as the hat is appropriate for the situation (fashion hats during meals, worship services, etc), while men in almost every situation should remove their hats (with the exceptions of yamacas and other spiritual headwear during worship).
Why can’t we ALL remove our hats for EVERY situation listed? I mean honestly, doesn’t it seem silly and hypocritical to be complaining so much about the appropriateness of men’s headwear in social context and to turn around and say it’s more or less OK for women to wear headwear in the same social contexts?
Any thoughts?
Dear Johnny Ray: I agree with you. I think men and women should take hats off equally.
I would like to explain to all of you that men’s hat rules and women’s hat rules are different.
After a cosmetic procedure (about 10 years ago, to remove wrinkles) my doctor recommended that I wear a sunhat to prevent brown spots from developing on my face. This led me to my current hat-fetish and I almost never leave the house without a hat…rain or shine…or anything in between, so I’ve checked out the rules….even though (in reality) I’m a defiant rule breaker.
A woman is absolutely allowed to wear a small-brimmed hat at a dinner function or at a restaurant. In general, a woman would not wear a large brimmed hat after sundown because she would not need to protect her face from the sun.
Women do NOT need to remove feminine-style hats for any national anthem. However, when I was in Australia, a tour docent for their Aussie war memorial shrine (wrongly) asked me to take off my hat during a taped recording of their national anthem. So, even though I looked awful with my messed up hair, I did take my hat off. Should I argue with him about propriety at a war memorial?
Anyway, I’m a writer, as well as a hat fiend. If my website address doesn’t show up, one of my hat articles is called, “How to Wear a Hat – Women’s Hat Etiquette at Restaurants & Parties” in case you would like more info. And, the bottom of my hat article links back here in the “sources” section.
As for the rest of this article, it rocks! Hats are fabulous fun. Everything else in “The Etiquette of Wearing a Hat” is great. Baseball caps should be banned for men over 30 unless those guys are wearing mitts or have bats in their hands. Get your man a cool driving cap, cowboy hat, rain hat, French beret, or anything else!
How can I say this nicely without yelling it in all caps…what century are you from?, and what part of western civilization do you live in? You clearly have a myopic and up turned nose vantage point in regard to wearing baseball hats in all encompassing arenas just because you, a self-important, hoity-toity blatherer(along with your followers unfortunately), deem it proper. First off, it is perfectly acceptable to wear a baseball hat in a restaurant, it just depends, casual upscale and beyond would lead to the chagrin of the other patrons in addition to the people at your table, however, there are a ton a of casual restaurants where it’s more than acceptable to wear a cap, even shorts, the ambiance for such establishments encourage a loose style.
in someone’s home is not up to you Syndi, it’s up to whomever’s home you are invited into, shockingly there are tons of folks who don’t care about that and actually want you to feel “at home” and welcome while you visit.
In regards to church, that all depends, most would think one would want to fit in with their garb and not offend, even though that is utterly superficial in nature, and defies the heart and purpose of even belonging to a community or congregation. Some churches have historical and traditional practices, but you are way off when it comes to the modern christian church, what you wear is what you wear, period, unless it’s bikini, your good, and clearly you haven’t been to a community that has several collegiate students,by the way which leads me to wonder how you could even think of putting the classroom in that collection of venues. In high school and college especially, it’s more than acceptable to wear a baseball cap in class, I’ve never, ever seen or heard of that being an issue, especially at the college level where you are paying for your classes, yeah, you can wear whatever you want unless it leads toward the denigration of the class, and a baseball would not do that.
Museum, don’t be so general, especially since you are offering your opinion as gospel, it would be nice if you clarified. There’s a difference between The Getty or Guggenheim and some of the Smithsonian institutions, let alone the numerous collegiate museums of the several life sciences where the cost is much less and the atmosphere is not as pretentious.
a movie theatre, seriously?, to that, i just have to ask what planet are you from? or do you only go to tiny art house film houses with two screens that are less than the size of some people’s flat screens in their homes.
As far as the places I didn’t point out, it doesn’t take an “etiquette guru” to know you don’t where baseball hats to those places, but to include them all in the same sentence is just plain obtuse, and a complete lack of observation on your part, it’s sad that there’s enough people that agree with you, that you will keep on believing that you are onto something.
THANK YOU BEN!!! I’m a twenty-one year old woman who happens to have a very extensive collection of flat bill hats and beanies and such. I love matching which ones will go with what I’m wearing and picking out one thats big in pop culture makes it fun because people will always come up to me to talk to me about how much they love my hat and whatever it’s referencing (Star Wars, TV shows, or just a lot of crazy looking colorful squiggles). I had this link sent to me by my mother who thinks it’s highly offensive for me to wear my hat in church, not to mention that my churches culture is mostly dominated by people in my generation. The foul looks I get from the occasional elderly lady are apparently enough to take away from the only form of fashion I’m even interested in. What I wonder is why is something so superficial so important that they want to make me uncomfortable in my place of worship?
Interesting! Just today my 8-yr-old daughter wore what is obviously a girl’s fashion hat to school. It even matched her outfit! She was so excited to wear it! She kept it on all morning without incident. Then lunchtime came. One of the lunch room aides told her in a rather nasty voice (the only kind of voice they have, I believe) to take it off. Poor girl was afraid to put it back on for the rest of the day! Earlier in the year she wore a beret to school. When she arrived she asked if it was okay to keep it on (she knew that boys had to take off their baseball caps). She was told then that girls are allowed to wear hats indoors. So now she’s decided that the “rules” must have changed and is afraid to wear a hat to school for fear that she will “get yelled at” again. Gee, thanks a lot “lunch room lady”.
Dear Deb: I recognize etiquette can be most confusing at times. Etiquette does evolve over time, to the point when certain guidelines were popularized, women did not wear certain types of hats, such as baseball hats. The only kinds of hats they wore were the decorative types that did complement their day or evening outfits. Now, women wear all sorts of hats and in so doing the rules are slightly different. My belief is whether a man or woman, wearing certain hats is inappropriate indoors. The ultimate difference is women are allowed to get away with wearing a few more types indoors that men are not. Any hat worn by men must be taken off indoors… except when in uniform. I hope this clarifies your daughter’s confusion. Good luck!
THANK YOU, BEN!!!!!!! I agree totally with you. I had never even heard of the whole “disrespectful to wear a hat at the dinner table” thing until a few years ago (and I’m 43…not a youngen) and thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I think it is a very old fashioned etiquette rule not present so much in the 20th century and people should not be looked down upon for not following it. Not putting your feet on the table, yes, that would be rude and disrespectful, but wearing a hat? Then where do you stop? Why don’t people take off their hairpieces and hairclips, etc….then too? A hat is simply a part of your apparel, nothing more.
Dear Jennifer: Being of a certain age and not hearing or learning something does not mean something doesn’t exist. With the world in which we live becoming more diverse and ever changing, there are guidelines that have changed over the years as new situations are invented. For men it has never been appropriate to leave their cowboy hats, fedora hats, or even baseball caps on at the dining table. For those households that did allow this… then that’s where it stands… you were allowed, but it doesn’t make it overall best. Yes, historically Women were allowed to keep their “decorative” hats on at a dining table, because it was part of their apparel… before they ever wore caps and other outdoor type hats. Again, outdoor hats were never allowed to be worn at the dining table in any culture or country. The truth lies in common sense… there is no purpose to wearing an outdoor hat at the dining table when you are indoors. Therefore, it becomes “civility” not to wear one which leads to it becoming etiquette. If outdoors, again common sense tells you to keep your hat on to shade the sun.
Wearing a hat inside is neither disrespectful or lacking of intelligence. Anyone who believes this to be true must have had that ignorance drilled into them as a child. It’s purely based on opinion not reason. Mind your own damn business in public. It’s far more disrespectful to embarrass someone who is wearing a hat by asking them to take it off. They are wearing it for a reason, albeit their own. Again, it’s none of your business.
Tradition only means something if their is a good reason for it. In this case, there is not.
Dear M: You hit the nail on the head when you stated people do things for “their own reasons” and in so doing they are being selfish and perhaps disrespectful and inappropriate to others. Time honored guidelines were and are established for a reason. Perhaps it is best to always investigate why you might do something a certain way fully before taking action on your own without regard for others. This is what etiquette is all about. Being sensitive to how your actions affect others and the environment in which you are experiencing.
Everyone has their own reasons though, I happen to have horrible scaring on my forehead so wearing a hat keep me from having to deal with the embarrassment of questions and stares. Personally, it’s more embarrassing to not wear a hat even if it’s going to ruffle some feathers, which makes me wonder, why does it do that anyways? Why is it anyone’s business? Should I be shamed for hiding what’s going to ultimately make me embarrassed anyways?
Hello K: The purpose of the post was to have the reader become more mindful of what types of hats are worn, where, and how. A person who chooses to wear a hate indoors is fine, as long as it an appropriate one. Thank you for writing.
Why is it disrespectful to wear a hat?
Ryan: It’s not disrespectful to wear in front of others in many situations. I appreciate the question from the perspective on learning ‘when’ it is the right time or wrong time that becomes disrespectful… such as in a church, in another person’s home, in a restaurant. Happy Practicing!
I always thought women should not wear hats after 6pm. You never see the Queen wear a hat in the evening?
Just my two cents — I think of the wearing an outdoor hat at the table to be like wearing your overcoat/outerwear. It makes me uncomfortable to see my kids at the table with their winter coat on — I keep thinking they just want to get the meal overwith and get back outside.
I agree with Ben. I never wear any type of hats, ever…. But my uncle is a very southern gent and he wears his so much I think the skin on his head is in the shape of a hat. I have only seen him remove it at churches, funerals, weddings, etc… Restaurants? Indoors? At the dinner table? Who cares. It’s your selfishness and YOUR problem if it bothers you. What about the person wearing the hat? I know for a fact my uncle absolutely finds it loathsome to e without his hat. If there was a meter on how bothersome it was to people around him, the way it makes him feel would be insurmountable compared to yours. Let the country man keep his hat on. Don’t you care about what makes your guest happy??? I felt the same way a Ben, it sounds like you all have your nose in the air.
Quit being hat nazis! Just consider the atmosphere you’re in first. Probably not acceptable at a fancy restaurant or at somebody’s house, who is old-fashioned. Otherwise, who cares! The hat is merely another article of clothing.
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It’s refreshing to find a website like this today while most of our “society” has lost the basic concepts of manners, politeness & generally how to comport oneself around others. I would say I find it hard to believe that people claim both ignorance about this practice & outrage at being expected to remove their hats indoors, but sadly today I’m not surprised.
I guess people today think that eschewing such “dated” practices somehow makes them more of an “individual” rather than a “conformist”. Well it seems these days, practicing these supposedly dated notions makes me the individual instead. I am the new counter-culture.
For me, wearing a baseball cap is a way of blending in. As an orthodox Jew, I always keep my head covered… but there are situations where wearing a kippah (yarmulke) would be inappropriate. When my company has an employee meeting with a catered meal, or when I meet someone in a restaurant for business, I have several choices:
1. refuse to attend the meeting, alienating me from my coworkers or business clients;
2. wear my kippah, and giving a passing Jew the impression that the location must be kosher because he saw me there (truly a big deal in Judaism, one can atone for the sins they commit themselves, but cannot atone for the sins they caused someone else to commit, especially if they didn’t know about them);
3. wear a baseball cap (which I find very uncomfortable) or other “neutral” head covering and sit in the restaurant and drink a Coke and eat something that hasn’t been cooked or cut (whole fruit, as an example).
I choose the 3rd option, as it doesn’t embarrass my guest or host, and it doesn’t make me stand out or feel excluded from the group.
Believe it or not, even in this day of enlightenment, we are treated differently by the public if we wear a kippah than we are if we wear a baseball cap. My son and I have begun wearing baseball caps on airplanes and to sporting events because it got lonely– we both notice a big difference in the length and friendliness of conversations when we “blend in”.
Alex: I appreciate your submission to this blog. Thank you. I understand your sensitivity to various situations and to certain people in society. Yet you said it yourself, people are getting more enlightened as each day passes. You must not give up in being a positive witness to your faith wherever you are. It is a part of your chosen path.
Bottom-line: I believe wearing any hat indoors—other than one for medical or religious reasons and a woman’s fashion hat during the daytime— is inappropriate. Baseball caps are definitely 100% wrong… especially in business.
There is more I would enjoy sharing about this, yet would be difficult to put into writing on this blog. I’d be pleased to have you call me by telephone to chat further about this… assuming you are in the U.S. If not, send me your telephone number and I’ll be happy to call you… any where in the world. Good luck!
I appreciate that you recognize that wearing hats indoors for one’s religious reasons is acceptable.
I believe that the breach of etiquette in embarrassing a host or making others feel slighted is far worse than the breach of etiquette some regard the wearing of a hat indoors.
Wikipedia summed up the tradition best when they said that removing one’s headgear is a sign of humility and respect derived from Christian teaching and tradition, whereas the wearing of headgear is a sign of humility and respect derived from Jewish teaching and tradition.
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In the Western culture derived from Christian tradition, removing one’s headgear is a sign of respect, making oneself more open, humble or vulnerable, much like bowing or kneeling. This is as if to say, “I acknowledge that you are more powerful than I am, I make myself vulnerable to show I pose no threat to you and respect you.” Men’s hats are removed in Church, and not removing them is usually frowned upon. Women, however, are required to wear a hat to cover the head in some churches based on 1 Corinthians 11:5.
In the Jewish tradition, the converse idea equally shows respect for the superior authority of God. Wearing a kippah or yarmulke means the wearer is acknowledging the vast gulf of power, wisdom, and authority that separates God from mankind. It is a sign of humility to wear a yarmulke. There is a common phrase that explains this, saying that “there’s always something above you” if you’re wearing a yarmulke, helping you remember you’re human and God is infinite. A Talmudic quote speaks of a righteous man who would “not walk (six feet) with an uncovered head, the (spirit of God) is always above him”. Jews also may wear a fur hat or a black hat with a brim.
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I think it is important to recognize that while most Americans may be Christians, there is a small but equally patriotic segment of society that lives life according to Jewish rather than Christian teachings and traditions. I believe that as society becomes more enlightened, attempts will be made to bridge the gap and blend etiquette & traditions to create an environment of inclusion rather than exclusion.
I would like to add a small correction to the Wikipedia quote above: Any head covering is acceptable to observant Jews (not just kippas, brimmed black hats or fur hats). Technically even a wig or hairpiece qualifies as covering one’s head (but then we get into that pesky problem again of how it looks to others and the risk of leading someone else astray when they believe the wig is actually an uncovered head).
What are the rules for young boys wearing a fedora or golf hat indoors?
Thank you.
JP
Dear JP: The rules for young boys are no different than men. Both are not allowed to wear a fedora or golf hat indoors. Young boys learn their good manners when young to build good habits when an adult.
I find this whole hat etiquette very fasinating. I like the olden time fashions associated with hat wearing and I believe that if you are male and intending to wear a hat that this etiquette should be followed.
It was only today that I saw a man (about 50 ish) wearing a really cool navy blue fedora talking to an older lady and he hadn’t the decency to remove his hat. This infuriated me as 1. He was talking to a lady in the street. 2. She was obviously older (70ish). Both of these people would have had enough knowledge to know about hat etiquette.
1 thing that is confusing with modern day society os the removal of hats indoors. Sya you’re in Starbucks ordering a coffee to go… Should your hat be doff’d on entering the premises then don’d when leaving? simularly when at McDonald’s… would you doff your hat when entering or just when you sat down and began to eat?
“I hope this clarifies your daughter’s confusion. Good luck!”
What if the lunch lady still feels hurt and offended by Deb’s daughter wearing a fashion hat indoors at a school where the teachers feel hurt and offended by boys wearing baseball caps indoors? How much should Deb’s daughter take the lunch lady’s feelings into account when getting dressed to go to school?
For that matter, what about people who feel hurt and offended by seeing women and girls wearing hijab, who feel hurt and offended by seeing Jewish men and boys wearing yarmulkes, and/or who feel hurt and offended by seeing Sikh men and boys wearing turbans? How much should Muslims, Jews, and Sikhs take their feelings into account when getting dressed to go out in public?
Meanwhile, Alex, thank you very much for going into detail about how these rules were made! I have seen teachers tell my classmates that wearing a baseball cap in class was disrespectful and, when asked why, refusing to give *any* answer instead of *teaching* us.
Err ok. Unfortunately some things do change. Shocker, women can wear pants now did ya know? Just because *you* think something should be a set rule, doesn’t mean you should stick your nose up at others who may not. I think it is common knowledge for certain things as not in church.. but when you start getting down to certain time frames and being THAT nit picky…. good lord. Next time I see a little boy with a cap on in a grocery store I’ll make sure to run up and point like they have leprosy and say ‘now you are going to grow up to be a poor quality individual just because of your cap.’
I admit it. I’m old – AND old fashioned. It irritates me when boy scouts (AND their leaders!) wear hats inside my school. They insist that they wear their entire uniform inside and that my etiquette is outdated.
You might want to double check your military references. I found this link to a DOD pdf that says that military members are uncovered indoors: http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/report/2005/050315-bdu_standards.pdf
Good manners may never go out of style, but it’s getting more difficult to find them, I think…
THANK ….YOU! a lot of men should read these articles. I was dating an older man 55yrs. and he had a hard time remembering to take his hat off IN MY HOME; in restaurants as well. when i would speak on it; his response was no one else took their hat off, but you know how i feel about men wearing hat indoors. needless to say i stop dating him. It shows he had no respect for me, my home nor what i represented. which means he’s about himself and not others. If he cannot do something as small as that what i ask of him. what else would he not do for me? Don’t want to find out. KEEP IN MIND LADIES. Besides i DO NOT ALLOW MY SONS AND THEIR FRIENDS TO WEAR THEIR HATS IN MY HOME. their ages 17 and 20yrs. So this would definitely send a mixed msg. I DON’T THINK SO!
It irritates me that you guys are so concerned about something so trivial… Are you all walking on egg shells? I’m glad that this troupe of hat etiquette snobs are a dying breed.
Dear Dustin: It must be noted that hat etiquette is not trivial and not meant to snobbery. All etiquette is meant to help people know what to do in various situations that will help everyone feel more comfortable. It’s all about respectful to others in certain ways, in various cultures. It’s meant to show your (“you guys”) level of education, consideration, and respect. Grant you everything in life can be “over done” and become “snobbery.” Yet, the purpose of this blog is to simply get people to know what to do and think a little bit more “outside of themselves” when out and about in society.
I wear hat indoors and it definitely doesn’t conform to your notions of education I might have. What ridiculousness.
Ryan: Thanks for your comment.
The point of the article is not to say 100% it’s wrong to wear a hat indoors. The point to keep in mind is where you are wearing it and how well you are respecting the environment in which you are wearing a hat. Wearing a hat in a mall or other indoor public facility is fine. To wear it in a person’s home, in a restaurant, or at a wedding is not. Happy Practicing!
You know you are correct we are a dying breed. thats why your young men have no respect for people, especially the girls; and its hard to get a girl to act like a lady if her boy cannot act like a man themselves. you men dont teach the boys anything so they dont learn any thing.so why should we act like a lady and do things for them- cook, clean, wash, iron and respect them for being the GENTLE-MAN in their life. try being one and yur girl wont curse you out in the street.LOL THINK ABOUT IT
Girls don’t cook and clean as much because they all have careers now. My mom hasn’t worked since she was about 22 and she is now 58… There isn’t as many stay at home wives as there use to be. I treat my ladies with all the respect in the world… But chivalry isn’t what it use to be. I would definitely remove my hat if my grandma or someone old fashioned cooked me dinner. But in today’s society, any of my “young couple” friends with new born children and a fresh marriage wouldn’t care if I wore a hat or not… At this point the world is going through a major shift and the economy is in a crisis… I understand etiquette is important in some
Ways but people on here sound down-right upset and heated over how complete strangers wear their hat… I think people go over board. Even in a church if someone I don’t know is wearing a hat, it doesn’t bother me at all… It’s just an article of clothing… In the grand scheme of life it means absolutely nothing to have a piece of cloth on your head and it by no means is a reason to be offended or upset… Just my opinion.
Is it proper to wear a hat while dining outside when the sun is not a factor?
Dear Martin: Yes, it is absolutely fine and encouraged to wear hats while dining outdoors. Ever more so now with all the UV alerts. On the flip side, most instances hats are not invented or designed to be worn indoors which is my point.
Only bad things happen when someone takes their hat off, like you being born unintentionally because your dad took off his jimmy hat
Dear Ti: As you know we aren’t really talking about that kind of hat. I approved your post because I did get a laugh from it.
Dear Mr. Dustin, Yes alot of women have careers now, but i gues that’s okay if you allow them to use that as a response not to cook for you. and you are right it is your opinion. I have a career and come home and cook for my loved ones, my mom did it, and my grandma did it. I am very happy you DO NOT have your lady friend, woman, or wife with a career this way she can stay home and be the loving woman and take care of the household. that is WONDERFUL! If you are in a church and a man has a hat on well you dont have to worry about having it on b’cause someone (another man) will tell him to remove it. Just out of respect to Gods’ house. Also, to each his own. It might sound trivia to you, but to some of us Ol’ fashioned gals IT IS NOT.
Hey for the record when you visit a young ladys’ home do yu call b’fore yougo to ask if she want anything? LOL
Sorry it’s just that I have a different opinion and it isn’t going to change… The church I go to you could show up with a speedo and snorkeling mask and you would still be welcome. Go figure… It’s one of those churches with a lot of young people.
Ladies do not remove hats (except baseball caps) during the National Anthem.
Dear Mitzy: Glad we agree on the baseball cap removal. Historically you were correct, because women only wore specialty hats. Nowadays with women wearing a variety of hats—many of which are like men’s hats—the opposite holds true. There are only a few women’s “decorative” hats that do not need to be removed during a national anthem. That said, most hats whether worn by men or women are to be removed during national anthems and other respectful situations.
http://www.ravistailor.com/customtailor/Men_And_The_Etiquette_Of_Wearing_Hats.htm
Found this interesting.
Etiquette today is almost unexpected.. the sign I believe of a different time.
Etiquette for me has always been as much about my self respect as respect for others. I live over seas and have for many years, when I returned for an extended stay in Houston, many in my office glanced askew at me when I opened and held doors for ladies, Stood when they joined me at the table at restaurants or entered my office… and yet EVERY ONE of them smiled and said thankyou… Hey I am back home over seas, where I live, but I know I left an impression with many.. I was in Houston 3 years and remained consistent in my politeness . I think it is a good thing..
Dear Garvin: Thank you for writing. It is obvious your parents and others helped you see the merits of politeness. As much as etiquette may not be expected, I suppose it does make it that much more appreciated when it is displayed. I applaud you for your good sense and discipline in sticking to doing what’s right and not allowing yourself to “follow the crowd.” If you would like to receive other etiquette tips each month, we invite you (and anyone else reading) to receive a complimentary subscription to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter at http://www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. At the upper right corner, enter your name and email address. We promise never to give away or sell your information.
An interesting side story…
About 10 years ago there was a celebrity softball game at Denver Coors Field. My son, then 20 was working for the Rockies and had the unique privilege of being on the field with the players. He happened to sit and play near Garth Brooks. During an intermission many of the celebs went around the perimeter of the field to sign autographs. He was with Garth much of the time and was blown away when Garth would sign signed something for a women. He would remove his hat and and INTRODUCE Himself. My son was not a country music fan at all but came home to tell the story and simply said that this guy was a CLASS ACT! Sure, it’s just a piece of clothing but sometime I think we are continually lowering the bar out of laziness!
Dear Kevin: I love hearing stories like this… Thank you for sharing and let’s hope society doesn’t t continue “lowering the bar” any further.
I directed my son to remove his baseball cap while we were having lunch at an outdoor patio restaurant. Weather and/or health was not an issue.
These are all WONDERFUL stories especially Mr. Kevin. I think if i was in his presence i would have fell in love. WOW!!! Again its a wonderful thing to learn that our young men are learning etiquette. this way they know how to treat a lady or their young girlfriend, and they know how to handle themselves in different situation. Keep up the good work. 🙂
I’m a college student and notice other guys wear their baseball caps, of various sorts, all the time. I used to remove mine when entering a classroom when I wore one, but now I usually just leave it on. It feels weird to be the only one de-hatting, kind of like I’m unnecessarily calling attention to the fact that I’m wearing a hat. Luckily the intense sunlight isn’t much of an issue for now so I don’t even wear one anymore since really, they aren’t particularly comfy anyway.
Dear Dan: I appreciate your submitting your comment. You are not alone in your thinking and actions. Yet this is exactly why I write these articles is to alert people to their behavior and how it may be perceived. In allowing yourself to go along with the crowd you are placing yourself and your image with the crowd. All it takes is one professor, one potential employer who does not appreciate the poor upbringing of wearing baseball hats indoors for no reason to have a not as positive image of you. Rather, so what if you stand out in a crowd and are different. You are different in a positive way, not negative way. To me, displaying appropriate behavior is all about displaying a great image and showing how well educated and “in the know” we are about such matters. If and when you do choose to wear a baseball hat, I truly hope you will continue to always take it off indoors in a classroom, at a restaurant, or at the movies. Wearing it while walking around in a Mall is fine.
Dustin.
Really? You could wear a teenie tiny speedo to your church and not an eye brow would lift? WOW. I can not even fathom such a thing. I was raised that ladies wore MODEST dresses (below the knee and high in collar) to church and men wore at least dress slacks and a shirt minimum (and a tie and jacket if they could afford it). Sunday morning and evening service is a FORMAL occasion and so like a wedding or funeral. You wear your best “sunday going to meetin clothes”. In these modern progressive times the Ladies wear pants at my church today. And a man in the choir has very long dred locks. (This is points of individual doctrines of Biblical teachings and personal conviction of obedience in faith) But more important to the do’s n don’ts is that everyone is loving, respectful, and friendly. I must say I could not worship God if everyone was in swim suits all around me (bikinis, thongs, speedos, and trunks) which would be EXTREMELY distracting. It won’t kill you to show some reverence and respect and wear something nice. Worship isn’t about YOU its about reverence and respect to a HOLY and ALMIGHTY GOD. Was ya raised by feral wolves? A SPEEDO… aka a banana hammock. really?????? Are you a hippy? A ganster? What is this “church” you go to? Church of the holy weed and almighty crack pipe? Please share a link to this mythical church I do not believe you. Do you also go to work in a speedo because “its ok”? No? Church in a tiny tight speedo. Just shaking head. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda and Dustin: To end this conversation I want to say that both of you are within reason. I’m a believer in all things should be acceptable if there is a reason for the behavior. For instance, if Dustin is stating a person wearing snorkeling gear to church would be accepted… Yes, absolutely. I doubt any church would turn someone away because of their attire. Perhaps it were a unique situation that caused that person to only have that to wear. What Linda is talking about is when people under regular situations—who could have a choice of wearing something nicer, don’t take the care to do it. Also, whatever a person chooses to wear as an under garment that no one sees is their own business and no one else.
I was so amused I forgot that the topic was hat wearing. Here is the way to judge any given situation. Look around you. See hats? yes? no? Do accordingly. Like I told my kids when they were playing under the clothes racks like kids will do in stores. “HEY! Do you see any other kids doing that? NO? Well KNOCK IT OFF! Grant it some time doing as you see others doing is going to get you in trouble. In Germany I saw a man peeing right out in front of everyone. He was next to a busy downtown street on a sidewalk and he peed right there in the gutter. Must have been drunk as a skunk. Anyhow it shows humility and selflessness to CARE ABOUT not offending others and to want to be curteous. Kudos to those with such civilty and manners. As for the younguns here with the lip and attitude. Looks to me like your mamas didn’t smack you on the back of the head often enough. “Stop figgiting and listen to the preacher son. God’s word will scare the heathen outta ya if ya let it.” Thanks mom and dad for my goodly smacks. Even this blue collar raised gal has an ounce of decorum for it.
i.e…. My mother in law thought Pres. Obama should NOT have bowed to the other politician in China. “He is the top leader of the free world and bows to know one”, she said. BUNK! He made a very polite shallow bow he didn’t crawl on his belly and kiss the guys toes. Its better to error on the side of curtesy I think. In asian culture one is curteous and bows to another in respect. Right? I come from redneck central and even I know you take off a baseball cap inside a building. A BBQ at a friends is hardly formal and beer and pizza at Joe’s house during a BB game isn’t either. NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT EXTREME CASUAL here. Yes wear a BB cap at Hooters while eatting wings. No do not wear a BB cap to dinner where table clothes and lining napkins are on the tables and a theres a maitre d’ in a suit and tie. Am I right? Just take a look around people and figure it out.
I’m an educator an I do teach my students hat etiquette in my classroom. As a rule I do not allow my students to wear beanies, cap or their sweatshirt’s hoods inside my classroom. Many of the parents have expressed their sentiments in a positive way towards this rule by saying that it was about time someone taught etiquette besides academics to their children. This has promoted in my students desired to learn more newer norms of etiquette; Etiquette for me has always been as much about my self respect as respect for others not a sign of snobbery or overdoing something. Besides it promotes healthy relationships of mutual respect between the boys and girls in my classroom.
I have an exception! I am very much in agreement with the rules of etiquette involving hats. I myself have worn hats most days of my life. However, my boyfriend has what’s called a Pseudo Cerebral Tumor, which presses on the optic nerve, making any bright light quite uncomfortable. As such, he has taken to wearing baseball style caps, as they successfully block light from his eyes, whereas sunglasses just dim it, making it difficult for him to see indoors. Short of wearing a sign around his neck that says he has a medical condition which warrants the wearing of said hat indoors, what do you all say to this scenario? Thank you for any input on this matter.
Scarlett: Yes, there are always exceptions to every rule in terms of wearing hats indoors. Also, I recognize people in general should not be so quick to prejudge something… as often happens. We no longer live in a predictable world. Exceptions are everywhere. What makes the difference is whether the exceptions are legitimate and for good reason. What I do know is through patience and kindness in not blowing up at such people who are perhaps judgmental of your friend wearing a heat indoors, this will go along way toward helping others to understand this unique situation. My best suggestion is to find a friend or milliner who can design and make nice hats that will serve your purpose and not look like a generic sports hats is my best recommendation to attract positive comments, versus negative criticisms. Good luck!
Oh, good grief. Don’t confuse clothing with courtesy. The hat protocol originated back in the days when noble men wore helmets, and it made some sense to remove one’s (combat) helmet when in the presence of a superior or lady or safe spot indoors (except when under arms). It’s been centuries since that protocol made any sense, unless we’re talking football helmets! Folks who insist on adhering to a centuries-old protocol that they don’t even understand are the ones who need an IQ downgrade.
Wearing certain types of headgear indoors has always been common practice. Monks and religious in Christian Churches, students and faculty at graduations, chefs and food service workers, artisans, westerners, people from various religious and cultural traditions, on and on. The modern baseball cap ceased to be a sports hat generations ago, and now is generally considered casual wear and is appropriate indoors or out any time casual wear is appropriate.
I confess when I see men or women remove a hat they’ve had on for most of the day, I’d much prefer they kept it on rather than look at their matted, sweaty hair.
I have an IQ of 184 and wear a cap backwads.
You people are such zombies, wear what everyone else is wearing. The Nazis did that as well!!
Good grief, most guys just wear caps because they are going bald, leave them be, they have enough to worry about!
How utterly lame! I just don’t get WHY! Maybe somebody here knows something I don’t. Help me out here, please…
I just got grilled by 3 insensitive people who verbally attacked me for wearing a small fedora dress hat indoors. They publicly informed me of how rude I was being to them all as if to say FU to them. Realy! Those were their words…
It is below 40 degrees in Florida and yes, I am cold indoors. I’m not trying to look cool. I’m not trying to disrespect a single person ever. I’m one of the more considerate people I know. I take great pride in opening doors for women, kids and even men, at times. I am frequently asking others if I can do something to make them more comfortable like a drink, snack, etc.
So social etiquette typically stems from something of significance. We shake with our right hand because that was our sword hand and it says “Hi. Come close and be friends. Let’s not stab one another.” Also, men walk on the closest side to a street to protect a woman from being splashed by a mud puddle from a cart and buggie. Protecting her, really. Another is men open doors for women because they spend more time looking good and were to be proudly shown off and as a sign of kindness.
But this hat thing?!? How does it apply? Maybe someone says “Come in and make yourself comfortable.” If you leave your hat on, it may appear as if you are ready to leave at any moment making others feel uncomfortable like standing while others are seated. So “Make yourself comfortable” is an order and someone is dictating what is and is not comfortable?!? What if my hat makes me feel more comfortable? What if I am bald, or have psoriasis, bad hair day, am cold, bad hair cut, mohawk, multi-colored hair, chemotherapy, tattoed bald head, etc?
I get it in a classroom setting or a formal gathering, but in general I just do not get this and I am so glad this is aged and dying…
Isn’t it really rude to dictate to someone else how they should and should not be comfortable?
Dear Will: Thank you for taking the time to write. You are not alone in not understanding why it is inappropriate for men to wear hats indoors.
Regrettably, a fedora hat was first invented to be worn outdoors. It was never intended to be worn indoors. It’s only in modern times certain groups of individuals have tried to turn a fedora into a fashion statement, wearing it indoors… yet this still does not mean it is appropriate.
Overall, as explained in another post, regrettably there are no mainstream men’s hats—to my knowledge—that were invented to be worn indoors. And as to the why of it, it’s because in most cases—aside from ignorance—many men don’t remove their hats out of laziness. They don’t like having to remember not lo leave it someplace.
Sure there are exceptions to the rule. A previous post was from a man who does suffer from a medical condition requiring him to wear hats at all times. For him he went to a milliner and had the person fashion him several nice and decorative head coverings/caps to be worn indoors. There are many cultures where men do wear decorative hats indoors… East Indians being one of them.
It’s all about acquiring the intelligence in knowing when, how and why to do things. Yes, etiquette does stem from some significance. It stems from enduring traditions that are established over time to display the best consideration, respect, and honesty about the various aspects in life. It’s now up to you to gain the deeper knowledge and intelligence about wearing a hat indoors and perhaps other etiquette situations.
As I keep saying, “It’s not about what you do, but when and how you do it” that is the difference in today’s society. It is clear you have gained some intelligence, given you know not to wear a hat in certain situations, now just add this and perhaps a few other situations to your list of when “not” to wear a hat. Happy Practicing!
Now i appreciate your time on this post.
However, when you mention it is inappropriate to wear a hat in certain situations it all falls back on tradition. If i choose not to accept your tradition, how does that make it inappropriate?
What i was hoping to find out here is why is it inappropriate? What makes it offensive to wear a news boy hat at the table? I think its offensive when someone wears too much perfume and it gives me a headache. I am not going to go over to that person and tell them to go wash up and take that smell off.
Why is it appropriate for a woman to wear a hat in church but not a man?
WHY IS IT OFFENSIVE?
Dear Brent: I had to take a moment to address your comments which I appreciate your time to write. It shows are you most eager to find an answer by which you can live.
1. At its core, you are correct about what is deemed appropriate, or not, is something every person has the right to choose what to do… no different than the right to choose to kill someone, or not… and everything else in life. The key to what separates the choices is an intelligence and understanding about how any action will ultimately affect yourself and others… and in the deepest and broadest terms.
2. Every action we take ultimately either helps build or not build a better life for yourself and everyone around you. I have begun to study and learn how etiquette is something that greatly affects a person’s “xi or chi” (energy force) which is at the center of all life. How you behave affects yourself and others as a “quality of life” issue.
3. Easiest way for me to explain the why of things stems from your first thinking about what was the original purpose and why was something invented? With regards to hats, most hats were first invented to be worn outdoors, including women’s hats. As a result cultures throughout the world and through time—which I agree—deemed it inappropriate to wear a hat indoors. It’s only in modern times, as people take more liberties to “do their own thing” traditions are lost.
4. You are correct that in some situations you would not approach the offender about their lack of considerations, yet because of that person’s actions it had left you with a poor impression of that person in not being more sensitive, considerate, and respectful of others around… including you.
5. Historically women’s hats were invented to be a fashion statement with some intended for indoor wearing, as well. They are a part of a woman’s overall outfit… like jewelry. For men, no one to my knowledge has invented specific “mainstream” hats for men to be worn indoors as a new trend. Maybe this is an idea for you??? Thus, for men it is still deemed inappropriate to wear outdoor hats indoors, no matter how cold your head is.
6. Another way to look at this is a good part of what makes things inappropriate and offensive—or not— starts with logic and common courtesies, then popularized through society as more and more people adhere to the same courtesies a sign of being “in the know,” and displaying your respect and consideration.
7. Bottom-line: In today’s ever increasing diverse world… “It’s not about what you do, but how and when you do it.” Even I wear hats indoors… albeit only in certain places.
Happy Practicing!
Hat Etiquette Rant…
@Brent Nelsen – I’m with you, in general. It is rude to force others to conform to their opinion of what is and is not acceptable for no known reason! To voice that opinion is even more offensive, IMO.
At a table, a hat keeps hair from falling on food. That is a good thing! Who wants hair in their food? Probably nobody… :-/
On the other hand, I can see a few good examples…
1) Anyone sitting in a public auditorium with rows could block the view of the person behind them if they had a medium to large hat. A baseball cap would hardly block anyone’s view. It might make the view better, actually. If they are on the back row, who cares?
2) In a classroom, court room or other places where respect and order is required, it says, “This is my house. I am in charge. You’ll do things my way or else.” Then I can see taking the hat off.
3) Any place of high or mid protocol in a fancy dress setting can require everyone to be uniform and in unison. It is agreed upon prior to entering.
4) One wouldn’t normally go to a Florida Gators party with a Miami Hurricanes hat on. It might get your butt kicked… LOL
5) If the hat was smelly or very beaten and dirty, some may take offense.
@ Will, I agree with you. Respect does come first. In fact, if an older person asks me to take a hat off, out of respect to them I will do so even if i don’t understand why.
@Syndi attempting to acquire the proper etiquette is why i even searched and found this blog. Tradition is ok and etiquette is great but both tradition and etiquette has some basis of a beginning. As i read in an earlier post, taking a hat off started back in medieval times well, I don’t live in those times any more.
I read in one post that hats are dirty and to wear at a table means dirt and crusty stuff getting in food. Then we shouldn’t wear coats at a table. I guarantee my hat is more clean than my coat. In fact, i never wear my hat unless i have just taken a shower. It is an accessory to me. Just like a watch; talking about dirty.
I was simply seeking out the WHY it is offensive and I can’t seem to get an answer other than, because society deemed it so a long time ago now there.
Well in that case, society needs to deem wearing jeans past your butt as inappropriate.
Syndi I appreciate your comments. Thanks for your input and response. I agree with you.
I don’t See how being traditional has anything to do with intelligence. I will continue to wear hats inside aside from churches and really fine dining restaurants. I’m sure people find it a childish mentality that I would be apathetic about other people’s valued traditions but quite frankly I find it a silly tradition. I have a right to disagree so I do.
Dustin,
There is no excuse for ungentlemanly conduct, unless you are not interested in being a gentleman!
Exceptional people think and act exceptionally and thus move ahead in life.
Best of luck,
-Rich
Most Americans have no idea what manners or etiquette is. That’s why Europeans and other nations see us as rude and in mature culture.
Also no military branch will slow you to wheat a hat inside. It’s called discipline. Hat wear invented for bad weather not a indoor fashion statement or trend. Most men and guys where hats inside because their to lazy to groom their hair or ashamed that they might not have any.
I found this site after telling my 15 yo about taking his hat off. He’d gone to a New Years party. When I saw him the next day, I inquired as to whether he takes his hat off when he enters someone’s home.
He said sometimes. I explained it’s gentlemenly behavior to take one’s hat off.
My wife would take me to task for not always holding a car door open for her (perhaps another thread), yet, she didn’t back me when requiring him to remove his hat.
Since we’re no longer together, perhaps this is why she doesn’t feel compelled to be in agreement.
Granted we live in different times, but respect remains constant. To this end, I find it VERY rude when a man or a young male does NOT take of his hat while in my presence or in a church. You have to teach our young men what respect entails. It’s daunting how disrespectful some men and young men can be. What’s worse is the fact that we are allowing our women to accept disrespect as a sense of normalcy. I’m a social worker, a mother, a wife and a daughter. I believe in respecting myself, my husband, my children, my parents and you! My son knows to take off his hat, he knows to open the door for a woman, he knows how to pull out the chair for a woman, he knows how to put on and take off a woman’s coat. He knows to help his 84 year old Grandmother. This all comes from my Grandparents!!! The world is very diverse. We should all know what cultural diversity entails.
Grants question is exactly what I’m talking about. Why should anyone find a hat as a sign of disrespect ? It’s a dated tradition. At least taking your shoes off keeps the carpet clean. I can understand why Asian cultures do that. Here is an article talking about it. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/03/why-we-are-supposed-to-take-our-hats-off-for-the-national-anthem
Why not stop holding car doors open for women? Or when approaching a door, not allow a woman to proceed before you after holding it open? All a sign of respect. Years ago, I thought I’d test out wearing my cap in a restaurant.
My wife asked me to take it off, I said I want to wear it, knowing I’ve never done it before. Sure enough, the maitre’d comes over and politely requests I take it off. Sheepish me, for knowing better, and having my wife say I told you so. The same one (in my above thread) who didn’t back me when reproaching our son.
Why is it a sign of respect ? And to who? Your comment makes it out like it’s only to respect women. Opening a car door has nothing to do with wearing a hat. If you told me spinning in 3 circles and tapping my head was a age-old tradition that Shows respect I wouldn’t do that either. That’s exactly how ridiculous taking off an article of clothing sounds to me.
@ Dustin.
Ok. YOU wear your hat inside. My sons won’t.
@Zeus: Well im glad your so proud of yourself and your sons but you didn’t answer my question.
@Dustin
I find your posts very confusing. I don’t understand why you would even participate in this blog at all if you have such disdain for the customary etiquette of “hat wearing”. I am not sure why a church or a “fine dining” restaurant hold exception for your rule of wearing a hat either. I am not old, I work 50 hours a week, have helped raise 20 year old twin sons, and have come home countless nights to help take care of the home. When I see a male wearing a hat inside a home, church, or during prayer or anthem at a public event, I assume the male is either lazy, ignorant, or both. It seems to easy for many to hold tradition in disdain, but that is how we, as a society of civilized humans, govern ourselves since the beginning of time. It is, of course, your choice whether or not to participate. Personally, I don’t think you intelligence is in question. I do, however, observe a high level of self importance and general lack of respect for others.
You *say* a lady should remove her hat for the national anthem, but the problem with that is if she’s wearing a woman’s hat or a man’s hat. In the case of myself and several women I know, we all wear vintage mid-century women’s hats. Those are pinned in place, with our hair styled around them in the majority of cases. The best etiquette in those cases to leave your hat on. It’s an accessory. No one would remove their pantyhose in public! A lady shouldn’t remove her hat as well.
If she’s wearing a man’s hat, however, then she should follow the rules that men follow (except the doffing in the presence of a lady type bits).
This is all, of course, according to etiquette and fashion books from the 40’s and 50’s that I’ve read so that I can be sure that I’m not embarrassing myself when I’m dressed in a vintage outfit.
Heheh perhaps I should have braved the comments first ;). Anyway, I personally (and the women I mentioned previously) consider “fashion hats” to be ladies’ hats, and fedoras (unless altered a LOT)/baseball caps/etc. to be men’s hats, even if they’ve been made for women to wear casually like modern hats are. It’s easier to keep track of the etiquette that way! Perhaps a note of that in the post would help with confusion?
@ Dustin
Let me preface this by stating that I am still quite young, but I find boorish if a man does not remove his hat when indoors. My husband is a Naval lieutenant, and every officer and enlisted person is taught to remove their hats when entering a building.
Why is it rude?
1) A hat is for the outdoors. Its intention is to protect the wearer’s head from the elements. Unless you expect snow, heavy rain or a flock of birds that may shower you in droppings why do you need to protect your head indoors? Are you afraid that the ceiling might collapse? Trust me, your hat won’t protect you — unless it’s Kevlar-lined!!!
2) Do you also leave your jacket/coat and gloves on? Not removing your hat looks like you don’t intend to stay and spend time in a specific location.
Can you do whatever you please? Certainly. However, I can also decide that you are an ill-mannered person.
P.S. What does cooking, cleaning and staying at home have to do with removing a hat when indoors? You are comparing apples and chickens — in other words, two completely unrelated topics.
Im not generally ill-mannered orl disrespectful to anyone. At my office and around my family I’m regarded as geneally optimistic person that is independent and hard working. This forum just makes me angry because I feel like I’ve reached another level of civilized and you guys just don’t get it. You’re sitting back thinking “I” just don’t get it. I noticed people in Europe are way more strict about the hat ettiquite when I travel there. Its really simple. I find it to be a tradition developed for helmets over 500 years ago. There is no logical reason to go on doing it. “just because you’re suppose to” isn’t good enough for me. I honestly rarely even wear hats. My feelings for hat etiquette probably stem all the way back when I was 10 years old with t-cell leukemia and people would ask me to take my hat off. It was the only thing holding all my hair from falling on people around me. I strongly strongly believe that it’s a dated tradition. I also believe it shows more self importance to be offended by someone wearing a hat inside. How dare you tell someone else how to dress ? I understand not wearing distracting clothes in the office. Or having to look nice and professional for a client. But if I walk in a friends house i wouldn’t want them to be offended I didn’t remove my baseball cap. Does it mean I’m leaving soon? Hell no. That’s a wild assumption. Do I wear a hat for the functional purpose of being outdoors and protecting my head? Only when I wear a tobagin. When I wear a cap Its because it makes ME more comfortable. It’s more disturbing to me you’re more concerned with your own comfort than your guests. I’ll quit posting on here but the bottom line is no matter how correct you guys think you are… I disagree.
@Katerine+
Hi again All. This is my second time posting on this topic. I first came here to find out why it was improper to wear a hat. That’s it. I was hoping with Katherine’s point list and mentioning your husband being a LT. that some of the points would actually list why it is rude.
Tell your husband, by the way, thanks for his service and yours too. People like you two keep us free in America.
I know a lot of people have gotten all uptight on this topic. I myself only want to know if the only reason it was tradition, then why? All traditions start from a specific reason.
I wear a dress hat inside, even when i eat (depending on the restaurant i am in) I probably, however, would not wear a baseball hat which can be quite dirty. A hat is actually part of my uniform at work and i work inside. It is not mandatory, i just enjoy wearing a hat and it is an accessory to me. I never wear my hats when my head is dirty and i don’t just set them down anywhere. My hat is like my watch. Part of my dress. In fact as my watch goes, even though i wear i use my cellphone for the time mostly. Its part of my dress.
I would, however, take it off if i knew it offended people because that is not what I am about. (That has only happened to me once, a lady asked me to take it off, i was a guest) Its like drinking alcohol, I will have an occasional drink unless I am among someone who has or had a problem with it. I don’t need it that bad to offend someone.
So please, if someone is a great historian, can you find out the answer to why, should a man take of a hat indoors. If the answer is a respected answer than the problem here is not disrespect, but teaching our kids from generation to generation. Which is why i feel the tradition has obviously been forgotten by the majority so it not that important to really practice.
Thanks for all comments and I’ll keep reading.
People like you really need to be shipped to the insane asylum. I think its time we evolve ideas here folks. Please explain to me what is so special about removing your hat? hats now a days are used for style, not just for keeping the sun out of your face. I never understood why wearing a hat is seen as disrespectful, I respect my mother just the same as when I wear a hat and when I don’t wear a hat, there is no change once the hat is placed on my head indoors. there is no magic behind the uncovered head. Unless your hat is a large ridiculous top hat with bunny ears coming out of it. when eating at my house people say its rude that I wear my hat, I don’t see the problem, people wear hairnets to keep hair from falling in there food, couldn’t my had be feasibly used for the same purpose? and even if it wasn’t, who really cares, my hat isn’t doing anything to the food or the people. its like you just say wearing your hat is rude because that;s the thing to say and you’ve never really questioned why. To address the taking off your hat in presence of a lady… even in the 1920s that was still stupid. like i said before, respect has nothing to do with wearing a piece of fabric on your head what so ever, respect is something from inside and it is also earned. in terms of taking your hat off in church to honor the presence of God… i was told that God is everywhere and always with us by priests , teachers, family members. If this is the case.. why even own a hat? this is all just a bunch of bullshit that people made up to sound posh and proper, as if God really worries about the amount of people who don’t take their hats off, I think you would agree that there are much worse things for God to worry about in this world.
Your side bar really makes me laugh too, some foreigner thinks that wearing a hat reflects your intelligence negatively and then wearing it backwards decreases it even more and you agree. It may be time you and that foreigner questions your own intelligence. If Albert Einstein was seen wearing a hat backward by this foreigner (lets assume he didn’t know who he was) then by his theory, it would give Einstein and IQ of 0%. Id say this is extremely accurate. There are some serious anti intellects in this world and guess what, having hat etiquette has nothing to do with it. Surprise.
Interesting topic.
A common opinion I happen upon in this conflict is that it is a sign of pretentiousness, douche-e-ness, low education, barbary etc. I find this comedic. Based on the responses I’ve seen in several blogs about this topic, I feel as if most people who would actually assume these things about a person based on whether or not an object rests upon another person’s head is actually acting presumptuous and pretentious. Especially when they decide to attack the act of wearing a cap backwards as well.
On insulting the conditions of the place: If your building is blasting the A/C or not using sufficient heat, I will be hatted and jacketed if necessary. If you feel that your guest is acting as though your indoors is too cold, perhaps you screwed up and should do something about it. My fingers should not have to turn blue/purple just so I can pretend that I am comfortable. Choice: offend people or endure numb fingers? I choose the former.
On appearing unintelligent: Really? You can determine the intelligence of an individual because they have an object on their head while inside a larger object? Oddly, as I’ve gotten to know people, I’ve personally never found that trend true when it comes to students. I’ve tutored emmaculately polite and proper and more improper students that were dumb as bricks. On the other hand, I’ve known proper students who ace the class and improper students who ace the class. What I see more often is that the ‘professional’ A-students memorize everything and know everything they they’ve been taught, but they cannot for the life of them synthesize an organic answer unless they have directly heard or read the answer at some point. Perhaps proper people are simply very good at regurgetating information and obeying rules. Perhaps disregarding an irrational rule that is meant to trick people into believing an individual is intelligent is actually a sign of a critical thinker. But, we cannot really make that assumption based on my personal experience.
Practicality: Nope. I do not expect rain inside, and I doubt others do either. We like our hats. I am two weeks away from Ph.D. candidacy, which I am being paid 30k/year to do at a research institute. I wear my hat because I like it, it comforts my insecurities, it reminds me of who I really am, and because I am certain some people think I look like some ‘dumb’ farm-boy.
Sidenotes: I actually am quite traditionally polite on fronts where it actually matters: I just really hate it when people use some arbitrary and meaningless rule to fuel their delusions of superiority. Although, my reasons for wearing my hat make me feel superior to the “hat-nazis” so to say. Rules like these are comforting and connvenient because allows a person to quickly size a person up. If you outlaw hats, only outlaws will where hats. So, who cares.
A majority of a person’s body heat dissapates from the head. Go green. 🙂
Eric and Michael, great points… I was starting to feel out numbered in here. I’m glad there is some logical thinking going on aside from “it’s what you’re supposed to do just because.”. You are right about it seeming pretentious.
The fact that you are even discussing this is so-o-o-o-o-o stupid. Wear a hat…..don’t wear a hat…….what’s the big deal? Get a life people!!
Exactly!
i will wear my hat where ever and when ever i feel pleased, isnt this america? freedom of expression? you sound like hitler and stalin mixed together, dont like it? move to another country
Yes this America and supposably you can express your self and wear your hat wherever you want , and I don’t have to wash my hands after leaving the bathroom and before making your big Mac .
I am a historian. Soldiers removed their helmets in days gone by to show they trusted the host. It is customary to take your hat off if the flag passes by or if you are in a church or synagogue to show respect. Men used to remove their hats to show respect for women.. an “I take my hat off to you” sort of thing.. Grant you, the way some women act these days, they don’t deserve respect. However i’m a lady whether you are a gentleman or not. If you don’t take your hat off in my house I will ask you to do so. You don’t get to eat at my table with a dirty baseball cap on your head any more than you get to come to the table with dirty hands. I grew up with all brothers, had all sons, raised my grandsons when their father died. None of them ever wore a hat in the house. I care about my guests comfort, but it’s a two way street. If I respect them, they should respect me. It’s a matter of not accepting someone crossing my boundary…the lowest common denominator prevails today because everyone stays silent about what is acceptable. One of the great problems with the world is the sense of entitlement some people feel. If a given custom is something they don’t want to follow, they call it pretentious or make fun of that custom. I did not check the notify box so now have at it as I won’t answer what you have to say. Question asked and answered so those who think politeness is silly might just think about another perspective. Dustin is not incorrect, just well-bred.
I was interested to see this discussion on women’s fashion hats. I think it’s completely fine to wear a women’s hat indoors, unless of course it is obstructing the view of those around her. however, in public i think they are lovely and should be worn respectfully so everyone she’s speaking to can see her eyes entirely! i’ve seen some wonderful new hats for sale.
In your side bar, you mentioned that a person who wears a hat appears to have a lower IQ. Fine, I don’t agree, but I can accept that. However, you then go on to say:
“Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backwards meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left?”
The way it’s written implies that that the answer you’re looking for is 0. However, when you reduce something by 50% twice, you are left with 25%, which given a very high starting IQ, could still be significant. This is a pretty common and minor mistake to make unless of course you’re trying to insult someone’s intelligence. But hey, I wear my hat backwards, so what do I know…?
Dear Chris: Thank you for writing. Your post is discussing a story I once heard and was conveyed from a perspective of simply being an amusing joke.
Thank you for writing this!!! People who wear their hat inside, at ANY time, upset me very much. I believe that there is no reason for wearing a hat inside, no matter where you are!
To Dustin, this post is not necessarily telling you how to dress but it is pointing out that there is etiquette involved when wearing at hat. Let me say, congratulations on beating your cancer. I understand where you are coming from with the hat covering your lost hair. My son was 4 when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. He did three years of chemotherapy and lost his hair 4 times. He wore hats daily and still does because he is a fair skinned red head! All that said, my son, now 11 years old, knows hat etiquette and removes his every time he enters a building. He removes his hat for the National Anthem, he removes it to say hello to every teacher he passes at school, etc.
Society as become lackadaisical in regards to manners. Manners are a lost art and it is disheartening to think that our children are growing up in an ill-mannered society!
Manners and politeness can be taught to a dog but some do not have the capacity to learn. Most dogs will not crap in the front room if they are taught manners and politeness. Most dogs do not wear a hat but the principal applies. You will believe what you are taught usually. Maybe it is time to think about the purpose of a baseball cap. Why was it invented? Duh. Grow up. Do not appear stupid to other people and wear your cap correctly unless your intelligent quotient is below normal. Use your library to determine what is normal intelligence. Thank you!
I think it is a nice tradition, but it should be judged on a person to person basis. If someone has a disease such a lukemia or is under going chemotherapy, who are we to ask them to take their hat off? If you want to be a gentleman: do it. If not, than don’t. It is equally rude to tell someone that you think they are being rude don’t you think?
I also came here to find out why this is hat wearing indoors thing came to be. What may be a act of politeness to one person, may offend someone else. I do not try to offend anyone on purpose, but if I do I’m sorry. I am a caring person, but those of you I do not know, I will probably never see you again, or never remember you. If you should remember me because of a silly baseball cap, worn inside a building, even backwards. That is up to you. If you thing I”m stupid, dumb, or have a low IQ, that is up to you also. What I have to say is— look the other way my friend! You may not know what is happening to that person right then. They may be busy with lifes real issues. Life is too short to be upset about someone you do not know. Worry about what you have on your own plate, not someone else’s plate. Please concentrate on your own plate, and try to figure out how you shall eat those brussel sprouts without making a nasty face, just to appear polite.
I recently attended a funeral where the friend of the family gave 95% of the eulogy, and the entire time wore a black hat. It was distracting and pretty strange although otherwise she was dressed appropriately. I didn’t really care what she wore, but I was curious – was this just a fashion statement at funeral? I haven’t been able to find anything about black hats at funerals and proper etiquette, does anyone know? Oh – and for the record, there should be dress guidelines for funerals, I do know that much, so spare comments like “what’s the difference?”
Dear A. Carrington: Thank you for writing. For women wearing a hat (even a black one) is considered appropriate as part of the woman’s overall attire… even at funerals. Historically certain churches required women to have head covering, including a hat, scarf, or veil of sorts. The dress guidelines for funerals will differ depending on the culture of the funeral. Most western cultures black is appropriate, although Asian cultures it is white. There are dress guidelines, yet in current times—as you have seen, I’m sure—many people do not follow them. I appreciate your interest in being properly dressed for various occasions.
Hello,
Yes to your question, there is person my knowing who enjoys wearing his hats or caps at the dinner table, especially during winter months. It is uneasy telling the individual not to do this in his own house he owns. But what you can you do about it?
He does have a right to wear a hat in his own dwelling even if the practice irritates the consciousnesses of others. But if it is my home this would be a different story. What an difference when people display regard for the feelings of others even if their freedoms allow them otherwise.
I appreciate your article above, it is very informative, practical.
I can see where people go with these subjects, and it is a ridiculous form of etiquette to go to such lengths to keep a piece of cloth on your head. What’s the big deal?! I can understand that when you’re in the presence of a flag or when you hear the anthem playing you should take off your hat, but seriously? With all these rules about “no hat policies” and other b.s. similar to this, why even have a hat at all? It has nothing to do with fashion or with anything other than how you express yourself, just like any other clothing. Some one will come up to you and snidely say to “take off your hat, it’s disrespectful”, but if somone said the same about a plain t- shirt, they would think differently. In conclusion, we live in a country, the greatest in the world ( sorry Germany!) And we have a right to express ourselves in this country, HOW WE SEE FIT to our standards. Hats are a huge debate in school and at work. Its just a hat. Nothing else. Why make such a fuss over a piece of cloth? Because you can’t see our eyes? I agree with carbie and with michael also on this point.
In today’s world everyone shouts I’m an individual so your opinion means nothing to me. I want this and I want that so to hell with you.
I realize the most important person on this earth to many is themselves and rightfully so to some degree however a lack of respect due to being self centered is in trend today so I guess it’s expected.
Sadly showing respect for others and having self respect is also out of trend today. Reading the other posts it is like watching children in a store crying because Mom tells them they can’t have the toy then they pout. Apparently the old fashioned ASS woopin needs a come back too.
I have yet read a reason other than people being self centered why they should not remove there hat. Not 1 good reason. They claim the rules are old, out of date, and no one can pinpoint a reason why they should be used today. The individule with cancer (God bless your sole) more than likely was tought they are special and God knows they are but rules still apply even to someone who is ill.
Here is the best reason I can come up with. RESPECT. What do you gain by removing your hat? RESPECT. What do you get by tipping your hat? RESPECT. OK now. What do you get for showing you are an individual and the rules don’t apply to you? DISRESPECT. What do you get for not tipping your hat? DISRESPECT.
So seriously get your heads out of your individual ass and show some respect and maybe you just might get some in return.
And please parents give your child an ass woopin (not to be confused with a beating) if they need to be taught what respect is.
James get over it, respect and hats have no relevant connection, I do not base my respect around hats and neither should anyone else, if you are asked to take off your hat at someone’s house and you do not do so then I can see that as disrespectful because you are not respecting someone’s commands in their property, that’s as far as I will go with disrespect and hats. There are many more things in life to worry about other than who is wearing a hat and who isn’t, it’s such a pointless thing to care for, Its a made up rule and it’s strictly frowned upon based on opinion, it’s not disrespectful to all people. These are not some god given rights so I can do what I please with what I wear. Taking it off in school, pointless, church , pointless, anthem, pointless, flag, pointless. There is no real reason to take off my hat Ty will effect anything in any sort of way, the only reason that is given is that it is disrespectful in the eyes of some easily offended knob. If you feel disrespected because of someone’s hat then you have some self esteem issues. Hat natzis are getting old, find something else to care for, maybe starving children in Africa or something. Honestly.
You go JAMES. THESE KID ARE SPOILED
They nothing of respect and have everything handed to them. And all their talk about THEIR freedom. What have they do for there freedom what have they done for there country. And as far a the 15 year old KID saying America is they greatest country in the world It’s one of them but if you have never lived another. And I don’t mean vist or live there as an Anerican then you can’t really say. Your just repeating the same old bs that ever one is told in school. Everyone from every country that has never been any place else think there home is great. And why not.
But Americans are spoiled to no ends special the youth. James is right. Spare the tod spoil the America youth. SCREW THE TIME OUT. WONDER IF THE MARINES DO TIME OUT. god bless America
Haha wow dan and James… Since when did this become about the youth?? If the kids are spoiled, guess whois fault it is?? Your generation of parenting. This isn’t about kids… It’s not just kids that don’t believe in a dated tradition.. It’s adults too… I’m a home owner, I have a degree and a good job. I have plenty of respect for all individuals. I just don’t believe in taking off the hat. Plain and simple. Hey, I even put the toilet seat down for the ladies, I help people with their groceries… I sponsor a child in Africa with a monthly contribution, Im well liked among my friends… I don’t have a lack of respect for anyone. I dont even have any racist tendencies… I’m pretty laid back… Im really baffled why people cant see how ridiculous worrying about how someone else wears their clothes is… Hell, if you want to wear a metal bucket over your head with 2 holes cut out of it… Feel free to sit down at my dinner table with me. If you want me to remove my hat in your house, that’s fine with me. But don’t assume I’m disrespecting you because I don’t do it without being asked… There is a lot more disrespectful things than hat wearing…. Actually I get more disrespect from elders, not kids. I can’t tell you how many times some old man talks down on me because I’m 30 and I look 16. Obviously there is a difference of opinion in here. You know this type of custom isn’t right or wrong. Meaning, those of you that believe in it, you aren’t right. You aren’t wrong. You just have different beliefs and not everyone believes in the same things. So put down your old corn cob pipe and walking cane and get with the program.
Well Dustin. Don’t assume that I’m old. But 30 your still just a kid. To my 102 year old aunt lots of people are kids the number is irrelevant
As far as the youth of bad or disrespective behavior you cant blame every thing on your parents If your such an adult then take responsibility for your actions. My kids don’t and will not were a hat other then out doors the 30 year old on and the 8 year old a d they both understand why and not because I said so.
I’m sorry but if you’re saying a 30 year old is a kid then you are definitely old. Both my grandparents are centurions as well…. Not sure how your aunt applies to this discussion. I’m sure you’re proud of your 8 year old, but like I said… The hat etiquette is your opinion. In my girlfriends culture women are required to cover everything except their eyes, but she dresses like a regular American because she feels those traditions are dated. Same scenario… Not everyone has the same beliefs… It doesnt mean my girlfriend is disrespectful because she isn’t covering everything… She chooses to be an individual that thinks for herself. Traditions arent always mean to be followed. There sure is a lot of judgmental people on here that seem to elevate themselves as some higher class of people due to the way they dress. Are all the mullahs and Iran a higher class than you because they wear a turbine? Imagine having to take that thing Off everywhere you go… They probably find it disrespectful to remove their hats… Youre about as close minded as the Christians that think Jesus and the lord is the only salvation and anyone that is Muslim or Jewish is going to burn in hell…. You’re debating opinions, not facts.
I have a mental illness and my hat is like my safety blanket. ask me to remove it, it’s likely you’ll get a swift “bill please” and exit out the door, thus negating from takings and profits a business has from me.
It’s completely irrelevant now a days to follow any rules on hat wearing whats so ever. Rules on hat wearing what the hell were we thinking. Be who you want, wear what you want, do what you want, as long as your courteous and respectful
It’s a preposterous and out dated notion.
Dear Dale: Of course there are always special situations for most things in life. Yet for the average person with no special circumstances, you hit the nail on the head with your comment “as long as you’re courteous and respectful.” This article was simply attempting to share a few tips in this area. Good luck!
Welk Dustin good debate. I am not ever near as old as you think just started early when I was lots younger then you I been all over the world and lived all over it too. I will still take may hat off in door as well as my children do. I just went out for dinner and their were on two guys with hats on in the whole place. On 20 to 30 dressed in sport garb and a ball hat the other 40 s with a tank top and a dirty camo cap. The restaurant was a up scale casual. Ps I strongly agree with you comment about Christians and I’m one
@Dale – I agree with you 100%!
Furthermore, I find it most rude for people to attempt to point out other people’s bad manners. If someone was that much of an anally retentive corn-whole, I’d have to say good bye to them as a friend and I pity the person they marry… :-/
I am a follower of Christ and as such, I refer to the Bible quite often to see what the Lord thinks on certain issues. Here is what the Bible says about wearing hats:
1 Corinthians 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head.
Now before you get all upset, I continued to read and this is what else is said.
1 Corinthians 11:16 But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.
I have been one who has been a firm believer in not wearing hats at the table or in church because it was what I was taught. I did not ever ask why. Well, now I will remember what the Bible says and not be offended by someone wearing a hat in church. However, I still will not allow a hat to be worn at my table. 🙂 Have a blessed day everyone!
“…So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors…”
“…This is truly among my very top pet peeves whenever I see it happening in restaurants. I’ve often threatened to walk around the restaurant to alert the offenders…”
I know it’s very hard for autistics to avoid having meltdowns when they see the outside world dare not conform to their most rigid rules (whether the rule is “I don’t want to see men wear hats in the elevator,” “I don’t want to see bowls and plates on the same shelf,” or something else) so congratulations on developing the self control to not yell. 🙂
“…I believe that the breach of etiquette in embarrassing a host or making others feel slighted is far worse than the breach of etiquette some regard the wearing of a hat indoors…”
Alex, you’re using the neurotypical system of imagining how the other people would probably feel and caring what other people think about you. It’s very difficult for autistic people to ask themselves that question about other people, and caring about what other people think also goes against autistic culture. It’s easier for people with that diagnosis and/or loyalty to that culture to memorize simpler rules about inanimate objects (such as hats). This way, they can go through the motions and more easily get by without having to directly think as much about the other people having thoughts.
I would surmise most of you who deem the practice of doffing your hat indoors archaic are probably under 40.
But, Dale…Preposterous!?! Come now.
I get it……. The author of the above article doesn’t like ball caps, as several of the posters here in the comments section. I’d say that’s a different issue all together.
This practice seems to have started long ago for very different reasons, and seems to have lost much of it’s significance with modern society. (along with armor, royalty, industrial fallout and sexist chivalry)
I take my ball cap or Kangol Beret (the only two types of hats I wear) off for the Anthem, observance of (other’s) prayer (as I personally do not pray) and if dinning socially; otherwise I leave them on, not to disrespect anyone, but I assume seeing my “Hat Hair” which lies underneath will not put anyone at anymore ease than than my clean cap, which IS in fact, usually worn backwards (Kangol’s are meant to be worn backwards). I’m not stupid, but caps are part of my casual attire, not to be worn to the office or a job interview, any more than jeans or track suits.
When in doubt, allow common sense to rule as to when a hat is appropriate.
If a person is going to judge you for wearing a ball cap, then taking the cap off just makes you vulnerable for the next thing they will judge you for, in short; look for those who will not judge you. This is what I’m taking away from this debate.
Thanks,
Many a convention of earlier society fades away like bygone formalism to a bygone era. A thing I like about modern civilities are how we have opted for kindness and simplicity over gesture and protocol.
Is society ready to throw their salad forks away? Probably not.
How about wearing a hat indoors? We may let that offense be lost to graceful abandon.
Women wear hats inside (any style) because they are instructed by the Bible to cover their heads for prayer, and to pray at all times.
During basic training with the US Army the hat (cover) etiquette was practiced over weeks at a time. They made a joke out of it because you can’t have it on in a building when unarmed, but it MUST be on outside. Determining the exact time to put on or take off your hat was the source of countless pushups! I had been taught this etiquette before I entered the army. Even today I practice it without exception. Sadly enough all the etiquette areas like hat, door, table manners, proper clothing are slowly drying up…we’re living in a hoodie world! But here’s the key: a man who practices this etiquette will be graciously noticed by a woman of the same caliber…the man who does not will wonder what he did wrong and never understand.
I wear a hat indoors sometimes, but only when I’m working with tools and whatnot because my hair’s real long and gets in the way sometimes, and the hat helps keep it out of my eyes.
You gave been a big help. But, I was always told that there was a season to waer the western cowboy hat. However, I was never given a strait answer. What months is it proper to waer the straw hat, and when is it proper to change to the felt hat? I’m in Texas, so I see the straw hat almost all year long, but I know that is emptier ediquet. When should they change from felt to straw, then straw back to felt?
Thanks
Dear Lora: All rules are made to be broken… so to speak, depending on the location in which you live that over time has altered the tradition. This is what creates culture. The culture of TX is different than CA or other places throughout the world. Time have changed how we all do things and a person must be flexible to the environment in which they live. My best guess, not ever having lived in TX is no one ever wears a felt hat, which is traditionally worn in winter and straw hats in summer. It’s the nature of the material to help keep a person’s head warmer in winter and cooler in summer. Thanks for the question.
Dear Lora. I live in Manchester England and have started wearing what I call “real hats”. I have always loved them but been cautious about wearing them in case others thought I was barmy (English for crazy). However I have now decided to do what I want so I went on the internet to check the etiquette I was a bit unsure about lunch in a restaurant/cafe, I thought I should keep the hat on and was pleased to see you concur. Whilst I was at your website I decided to read the letters from other people and enjoyed them.
Personally I don’t like grown up people wearing baseball hats except at sporting or as a sunhat but it’s their choice isn’t it.
My Mum always used to say it was good to be different, if we were all the same think how boring life would be!
So cheerio from across the pond.
Sioux
Wow.
First off, the article isn’t at all informative. All it says is basically, “No! No! No! Because I said so.” It offers no logical rationale whatsoever. One of the comments that I read explained that it was originally based on a show of trust in times of war. That makes sense, similar to shaking hands with the right rather than the left because most people would wield a weapon with the right, thus implying a level of unarmed safety when doing so.
Having noted and understood that, it seems logical to disregard the tradition given that there is no war being waged in North America, and although ‘mericuns are known for carrying loaded weapons, Canadians are thankfully above such barbaric practices, so why worry about a show of trust when there’s no danger in the first place.
Also, it’s incredibly inane to be so offended by something as innocuous as a hat. What about it is offensive? Seriously, what harm could it possibly inflict upon a person? It’s a hat for crying out loud! The lack of reason and logic is text book ‘god-fearin’ christian’ mentality.
And thirdly, it’s terribly rude and presumptuous to assume that someone’s hat is “dirty”. What if the hat had only just been purchased en route to your house? The people with whom I associate only wear clean clothes, including hats. It makes sense to remove one’s shoes upon entry to another’s home, given the fact that shoe soles will almost certainly become soiled by walking outside, thus leading to dirty or even stained floors, especially in the case of carpeted floors. In contrast, a hat is very unlikely to become soiled, and even if it did somehow, it almost certainly would not ruin anything in a host’s abode, except perhaps if it IS removed.
I don’t really expect this to sink in given the fact that it’s the result of rational thought rather than “because I said so” programming, but it’s always fun to try to break through the fog of collective ignorance.
:o)
It truly makes my blood boil when reading some of these comments and the ignorance from which they stem. As a teenager myself, it annoys me to think that people simple disregard etiquette today. I was eating in a local restaurant the other day, and there were three or four people wearing baseball hats spread across the room, it helped me see the people who weren’t raised on traditional politeness, and to me, separates the people who would give you his coat in the winter, and the uneducated idiot who would buy drugs from a local dealer… I think hat etiquette is a very important thing, it separates the true gentlemen, who are perhaps worth keeping, and the common ignorant type, who would not remove their hat for their girlfriends parents, to name an example.
You don’t have to be smart to follow etiquette, and it’s just a subtle step to being a gentleman, that a woman (that is worth keeping, at least) will notice, and by not doing shows a lack of respect and self dignity.
Thanks for this article. I love hats, but sometimes am not sure in what situations I shouldn’t be wearing them in (such as doctors appointments). I see it as a sign of respect. Naturally, we evolve over time and due to our environment and these rules can be adjusted, but I certainly don’t think they are entirely outdated, yet!
I would NEVER dream of having someone wear a baseball cap at the dinner table!!!! Much less wear a dirty one inside! There is a place for everything. Pajamas for bed, suits for court, baseball caps for sports.
I have seen that IQ drop that you joke about in regards to the baseball cap, at least how they outwardly portray themselves. Then again I’m 27 from the midwest and wearing a hat backward was a statement that you were really ‘gangsta’. Perhaps it’s mainstreamed with the younger generation by now? (I still find it insulting, rude, and childish with adults)
I hate to see something so simple and charming as hat etiquette to go out of style. Why is it that basic manners are disappearing? Is it really that tough or are we not doing enough to teach our youth? Obviously hats are not the most important issue, but then again neither are please and thank you and we have the good sense to continue teaching our children to be respectful in this capacity. I hardly think hat etiquette is completely outdated.
As for hat etiquette in schools: I struggled with this in school, too. This sort of etiquette it seems is not fitting for public schools, but should still be applied outside of school and after public high school (and hopefully by at least the end of a student’s sophomore year in college.)
Basically its how you show respect, and its all based on who your company is. If you don’t know your company then its a safe bet to take your hat off. Just plainly a simple choice. I have not seen someone feel disrespected by not wearing a hat. Unless your in a different culture. Tradition says it is a sign of respect and everyone knows it. Or at least most people do. Until a a cultural trend changes the meaning. Like the word gay became meaning homosexual now its used in that term. So neither is wrong but to be safe take off the cap.
I like to use the example of the person swearing a lot. Some people allow it and some people hate it. He thinks its okay and swears away until someone comes up and tells him to stop. And he stops or he gets offended. To play it safe it would be proper not to swear in a hosts house until you know who they are. These are not rules, they are just an understanding of most people and back in the old days everyone knew about them. And if every lady knew that when a man tipped his hat to them it means respect and am not anything else. It’s all about understanding the other person’s perspective I think. I think its kinda funny how this topic gets argued over.
People overreact to the hat etiquette. Whereas you know it is respectful to remove your car in a church, I don’t see why it’s a problem to wear a hat in restaurants. Military facilities usually tell a person to remove their hat.
For the most part, hat debate depends on the place. I’m sure people will frown upon a person whose wearing their hat in a church. However, many people wear hats in restaurants.
Thanks for the hat etiquette.
I liked the article. Sure, some people may not agree with it,
and others might. I just think it’s kind of cool when a man goes out of his way to doff his hat to a friend or a lady.
As well as, I love old traditions, and wouldn’t mind seeing some of the topics discussed here practiced a bit more.
Greetings
I would have loved to know you better M Smith.
I am 30, a man, and I decided, I am going to start wearing a hat. So I looked up what the proper etiquette is. I came across this page, only read the first three comments, and was disgusted. You absolutely talked the truth. I guess, a lot of these people will also say, ” why do I have to say thank you, or excuse me, or put their hand before their mouth when yawning” just because it is an “old custom with no reason for being there”
If only there were more people left like you, the world would still be a better place.
May you be well.
On 12 March 2012 at 2:43 am
M, Smith says:
“I am a historian.
Men used to remove their hats to show respect for women.. an “I take my hat off to you” sort of thing.. Grant you, the way some women act these days, they don’t deserve respect.
However i’m a lady whether you are a gentleman or not.
I care about my guests comfort, but it’s a two way street. If I respect them, they should respect me.
the lowest common denominator prevails today because everyone stays silent about what is acceptable.
One of the great problems with the world is the sense of entitlement some people feel.
If a given custom is something they don’t want to follow, they call it pretentious or make fun of that custom. ”
If you are honest, with just a little bit of decency and manners, you will know these points are the truth, even if you wouldn’t acknowledge it.
Is it disrespectful if: In a private home during the playing of the National Anthem (eg: during a sporting event) not to rise and/or remove a hat or cap (Males/Females)?
Andy Costa: To my knowledge you do not need to rise and take off your hat in your own home while watching a sporting event on your television or computer. It’s only when you are a part of the actual event taking place the respect of taking off your hat and rising is important.
No matter what is said, think about the women in your life! Wearing a hat indoors is disrespectful to women. Men should not wear a hat indoors. I can’t speak for those with weird hangups but In a military environment…go into the club with your hat on and see what happens! You’ll wind up buying the whole place a round if you wear your hat. When you argue against wearing a hat indoors you are dissing the women in your life. It is a NO-MO! And think about this: today’s youth lack the desire to respect anyone, yet demand other to respect them. Why not start by removing your hat indoors? You have to show respect before you can get it!
From the attitude of the replies to this article, most of the responders did not pay attention to their mother or grandmother about being polite to others, or having good manners. Does freedom to do as you will no matter how crude it is trump showing others respect whether they want it or not? Please, take that hat off at least when you are eating!
Most of the responders don’t even have the consideration to use correct spelling, punctuation, or capitalization in their replies.
Lol, this entire conversation is hilarious. I don’t know about any of you, but I live in a free country, where I have the right to make my own choices. You may believe that it shows “respect” to remove ones hat indoors. But personally, I believe it shows more respect for an individual to simply be yourself, if you can’t accept someone for who they are, because they are wearing a hat indoors, then you are nothing but a self-centered control freak. You should probably do your research before you discuss these things by the way, because half the things you said are false. To answer a question from earlier it is illegal to wear your hat during the national anthem in the US. Although, it is not a punishable offense.
Thank you for your post. From reading the comments, it seems to me that a lack of respect for ones self and others is a real problem. Too many people are concerned with why something is polite or impolite to just take some things that have always been considered that way at face value. Don’t get me wrong, questioning things is great, especially when they may be bad, but this is one of those things that is neither good or bad. Many of those commenting have said that they don’t see why they should take their hat off in the presence of a lady or in a church or building of worship. It is all about respect. But why is it about respect you ask or snicker? Because, women are and have always been gifts to men, it is proper to respect them, showing them that you value them by doing something special in their presence. It is the same reason that a man never curses or spits in the presence of a lady, but has no problem doing so with men. Our culture has tried to tell us that men and women are equal, but it is simply not true. We both deserve the same amount of respect, but we both have our own strengths and weaknesses. Men show women that respect by doing things differently in their presence, showing them that what they offer is special, worthwhile, and valuable to us. It is us (men) showing appreciation for them being women. So gentlemen, remove your hats in the presence of a lady, your mother will be proud and the lady may just take notice.
As for removing your hat in churches and other places of worship (that expect you to not wear a hat), it is out of respect for the culture, the religion, the people and God. I know, some of you will say that you do not believe in God, but you will notice that there are many other reasons to show respect in that case. An easy rule of thumb is; do not be disrespectful. If it is and has always been respectful to do something that you do not have good reason to morally object to, then you should do it when it is considered appropriate. There is no reason not to. Please be respectful and remove your hats when appropriate. Thank you.
Too add to my last post, a gentleman should never, in public ask or tell anyone to remove their hat (few exception of course as there always will be). A gentleman does not make another man (or woman) feel as though they are less of a man (or woman) then they themselves are. It is called respect, please show it to everyone. I’m also not saying that you should be condemned for wearing your hat when you shouldn’t, but there are many cases where if you take off your hat, people will notice and have a higher opinion of you. You don’t care about others opinions you say? Well it may get you that job or girlfriend you want, that great seat at the table in the front and it may even just make you feel good. Try it sometime with an open mind and your respect for others will shine through. Many people will never notice if you don’t take off your hat, but if you do, people certainly will notice, especially since it is so uncommon nowadays. Thank you.
You take off 50% then another 50% off the remaining amount so a 75% reduction in total.
It is all a question of upbringing. The slightly older generation were brought up to use good manners and respect, so basically you try not to offend, and people treated you the same way. Now, it is all me, me, me, and you can see by most of the moments here that there is little or no consideration for others.
A gentleman removes his hat when indoors.
Dear Syndi: I came to your web page, hoping to find guidelines to a problem. Our club requires covers (hats) off when in the bar area. They are told the reason is to show respect for our fallen veterans. As a young man, I was taught by my parents to remove my hat when I entered a home, church, theater, or place to eat etc. It was; as it seemed to be a custom observed by many. Entering a store or large public place like a train station ,or theater lobby you could remain with your hat on. Of course this was before baseball caps became something of a fashion statement. Even young ladies wore dresses, or skirts and tops along with a hat, gloves and handbag when they went out in public. Such was accepted fashion for young women who wished to appear as respectful. When I entered the Air Force, there was no reason for me to question why I needed to remove my cover indoors. Today, things seem to have changed so much. I hear today, why should I do something just because someone else tells me I should. I am an individual, therefore if I want to wear yellow dye in my hair, metal in my lips, etc. why shouldn’t I? However, when you look around, many are really copy cats of the fashion they see on the streets. Such as baseball caps worn backwards (once only done by welders, so they did not need to remove their caps to put on their goggles or helmets). Today, I may go to a place to eat and I see women of all ages and sizes, wearing leggins as outside garments, so sheer that you can easy see: not only if they are or are not wearing underwear, but what type and color and if trimmed in lace or not
Many will claim as I have read in the responses to your page, that they respect others. But do they really? Or do they just think they do. I am offended when I see men wearing hats in places that they should have removed upon entering by social standard, I am offended when I see young men with their pants down around their thighs and their boxers worn as outside garments. I am offended when I see women wearing things like leggins that I can see through or seem to be sizes too small for their size. I am offended by seeing some of the wording on some of the T shirts worn by people today. Since I am offended by these sights and I know many more who are also. The people that say, It should not matter what I wear or how I wear it or where I wear it are really being rude and are not showing respect for themselves or others. Stand by any highway today and observe how many drive MPH over the posted limits. Do they respect the rules that society before them have established. Or do they just feel that rule of conduct is just so old fashion (like not wearing a hat in a place to eat) that they should be allowed to do what ever they want when they want. Kind of really selfish on their part. If you really respect others, would you take some thing of theirs without their permission. Or is the real reason behind all of this was that they were never taught what is right or proper by their elders. In old cultures the elders taught the young the way of the world.
What to do and why it was important to carry on the traditions of the past. The young, then had the responsibility to learn and then carry on the training of the ones to follow. That in it self seems now to be another lost art. People that care about what others may think of them.
Dear Earl: In general, you have articulated things well in terms of acknowledging what’s proper and what’s not. As to what to do and why it is important to carry on the traditions of the past, it’s all about how society evolves as to whether past etiquette continues to hold true in today’s time. For instance, it was etiquette a man was to tip his hat to a woman whenever she would walk past. Today, there is not such practice for any man wearing a hat. Women always wore gloves when traveling downtown to go shopping. Again, no longer a tradition. However, wearing hats indoors, including baseball hats, is enduring for all the respect, courtesy, and obvious reasons of “not” needing a hat on indoors, shall continue to be a sign of good manners and etiquette.
I find it funny that you’ve chosen to impose your military hat etiquette on the civilian woman.
Traditional etiquette speaks that it is acceptable for a woman to wear a hat indoors unless it is obstructive. If I’m wearing a hat, not removing it is NOT due to laziness or disrespect. It is a matter of not subjecting the people around me to my “hat hair” or flying hair strands due to the removal of my hat. As far as I’m concerned, that is far more rude and inconsiderate than keeping my hat on. My hat is considered part of my attire. As such, I am not required to remove it. I’m quite sure you would not expect me or any woman to take my dress off indoors…
Until you can give me a real excuse not to wear a hat indoors, I’ll continue to do so. If your reason is because my grandpa always told me not to and “it’s just not proper”, wake up and join the 21st century. Think outside the box and stop being confined by old passe rules.
Dear Don M: It is clear you have not read the trail of numerous other posts describing the merits to what I have stated. No matter what anyone may say about the “right” to wear a hat indoors, it still holds true that wearing hats indoors in certain places is still most inappropriate and rude by many cultures and standards… including in restaurants, special indoor events, at a movie/performance theater, at a dining table, a person’s home, etc. Wearing a hat indoors in a shopping mall is fine and not what we’re discussing. Everything in life is a choice. You have the choice to do as you please, without any regard to old-fashion guidelines, or you can choose to show respect and politeness by displaying time-honored behaviors to have the best possible image of yourself.
I’ve read all the posts, and it tickles me that almost every one of them ranting against the practice of removing headgear indoors was written by a man. I think the biggest consideration for removing one’s cap/hat indoors is that it favorably impresses the women.
My husband and I find it horribly offensive when people wear hats (men and women) – especially while eating. We’ve often discussed buying a restaurant just to enforce this rule as well as unruly children and parents lack of responsibility to teach them manners and respect!
Dear LaFave: Thank you for the post. There is such a restaurant in San Francisco called Chenery Park where on Tuesday nights they have special kid friendly menus and ask that kids do behave while dining in their restaurant. They even had an etiquette class (although I wasn’t the instructor). It’s a great win-win for all.
Now if only there were a restaurant where uruly adults would learn how to behave. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a restaurant seated next to a table of loud gabbers. I couldn’t eat my dinner in peace. I’ve seen kids who are more well behaved than the adults.
Excellent! The only exception I would take is under how to remove your hat. “Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart,”. The hat IS held in the right hand and held in the manner described, but it is the hand that should be placed over the heart, not the hat.
It would be nice to mention the historical basis for the custom. I never just accepted “It’s rude”, because I couldn’t see why it would be.
Hats were taken off inside because they were worn outside to protect against dirt and soot. Wearing them inside implied the host’s home was just as dirty, and you didn’t want to stay long enough to even bother to remove your hat.
We have a young relative (10 yrs old) visiting our home and he came in last night wearing a baseball cap, left it on for the three hours he was here and while he was at the dinner table eating. I had to refrain myself from asking him to take it off. Is it ok to request a visitor to remove their hat, or should you let it go?
Dear Julie: When in your own home you should be able to maintain your own house rules. If a person wears their hat in your home and especially at the dining table, I think you should be free to ask the person to remove it while eating as a sign of respect of your wishes. As to wearing a hat throughout the house, this is something you can choose whether to ask this as well. I do. Thanks for writing.
I learned to remove my hat or “cover” when entering any dining facility or restaurant when I went to boot camp. Part of this was because military dining facilities are used as overflow areas for the sick, injured, and dying during times of need. An exception to this was if you were carrying a weapon, you remained with your head covered.
I find it disrespectful for anyone to wear a hat at the table, even though it wasn’t how I was raised. I belong to a Veterans Service Organization where, if we eat and still have our cover or hat on, we must put a dollar in the kitty, and it’s always done good naturedly. And yes, I’ve forgotten and had to pay up!
Hold up a minute. What about hat with some class being worn indoors. I would never wear one of my everyday baseball hats indoors, but I see nothing wrong with a nice fedora to complement my look, and I enjoy the look.
Brian: I understand how wearing hats have become a fashion statement more than being purposeful as part of a person’s image. If you’ve ever seen the television show “White Collar” with the main character of Neil Caffrey, I read he has helped to popularize a comeback of the fedora. Yet in viewing the series I do not recall him ever wearing his hat inappropriately indoors. We must always go back to what a hat was originally invented to do. The exceptions again being hats created for wearing indoors, such as religious and/or medical head coverings and it’s fine to wear them at a public facility, such as a shopping mall or transportation station. I totally understand how difficult it is to know when and where it is acceptable to wear hats. The simplest way to remember is just not to do it indoors. It all boils down to caring enough to show a some consideration and respect when removing your hat indoors.
Um no there is no purpose to take your hat off in a building or anywhere hats are part of your cloths and fashion if you tell us to take our hat off in a building you might as well tell us to go naked cause hats are no diffrence than a shirt besides it goes on your head you people saying its rude to wear a hat in building or at diner table your dead wrong and your stupid because its not rude to wear a hat wearin a hat is not calling you a b****
To those who “hang their hat” on the idea that a hat was worn to protect yourself from dirt and soot, therefore the hat should be removed when inside… Well guess what, that is why I wear clothes too, so would it be prudent of me to chuck my clothes in the corner when I come over?
Also, at the table, farting, sneezing, cussing, and chewing with your mouth open are examples of being rude and inconsiderate. Wearing a hat is irrelevant.
Whether intended or not and whether “fair” or not, everything we do or wear sends a message. Wearing an outdoor hat indoors sends the message of being impolite or rude. People like Jeff and Vinny have to be cognizant of their surroundings. Whether individually they might consider a hat as just clothes or part of fashion, the truth is most people you meet will consider it unprofessional. If you are not empathetic to the feelings of the host or people present, then by all means wear your hat.
Next entry should be about people that wear their headphones around their necks indoors or while engaged in conversation. I see this trend often amongst our youth.
Personally, I can come up with a looong list of behaviors and stuff that I find far more offensive than wearing a hat indoors. That person could have a darn good reason for wearing a hat inside. They could be going through cancer treatments or have some other condition that causes them to lose their hair, which can be truly devastating for a lot of people. They certainly don’t need the stares and comments from people.
KS: I agree with you about so many people who have situations requiring them to wear a hat/head coverings all the time. Cancer patients are advised to have a variety of hats. Appropriate hats for outdoor and indoors. The article primarily addresses the awareness and inappropriateness of wearing outdoor hats indoors… that’s it!
I believe it is about others, not yourself. If it offends anyone around you by wearing a hat, then don’t wear it, just out of courtesy. I feel that today we’ve moved to a “ME” society. Let’s be a gentler society and think of others first. The reason I’ve gone to this site is to find out where and when I should and should not wear my hat, so to be curious to others.
I wear a hat absolutely everywhere because I have a rare medical condition that has caused my head, in addition to hair loss, to become severely disfigured and scared. My hats hide this problem
My hat is not offensive, rude, bad manners or the result of a poor upbringing. I am not wearing it to be cool, make a statement or anything else. All I am trying to do is preserve a little dignity and avoid embarrassment.
I am sometimes confronted by people insisting I remove my hat, and to avoid a scene I normally do. This results in stares, giggles and rude comments, all from supposedly mature adults.
I have been told that my medical condition is an exception to the rule and therefore I am allowed to wear a hat. It is however embarrassing to have to explain my situation to every single person that confronts me about my hat. I should not have to. People need to mind their own business.
I wish people would mind their own business. My wearing a hat isn’t hurting anyone. I shouldn’t have to explain my reason for wearing a hat to anyone in order to justify leaving it on.
Dear Rob: Thank you for your post in sharing the realities of many people needing to wear hats indoors. We’ve had other posts on this similar situation. There are many appropriate “exceptions to the rule.” What’s important on your side is not to show anger toward those who try to correct you. Rather to be the leader in sharing how you are an appropriate exception. Additionally to also wear appropriate “indoor” type hats, versus wearing an outdoor hat indoors which is less appropriate. As it is said: It’s not what you do, but how you do it. Good luck!
I think this hat thing is full of it. Customs and Courtesies go much further than a hat. Where is the etiquette of life and man kind? You still have people killing one another, misleading people about life, corrupt history books, and on and on. Where is the etiquette for life? Racism still among us. We can’t even speak to one another in passing on the street. If we are going to do it, lets do it full circle. it’s time to wake up !!!!!
James: I agree with your comments. We should go full circle in caring about everything we do when interacting with others which becomes the “etiquette for life.” While the etiquette of wearing a hat may be a minor item compared to some others, it is all a part of being well informed.
Last night I went with my wife to a informal retirement “party”.
It was at a military function building, no one in uniform, there was
a vast difference in fashion from one person to the next of about a 100 people. I was in a black suit and tie with a nice dress hat to match. I wore my hat the entire evening. I did not notice anyone that disagreed with my attire. this morning , at my wife’s unit, someone made some type of comment about it. I don’t believe I was wrong. If I was, why didn’t that person do a “on the spot correction” as the military has been taught? Now here is the kicker! These very people have had hats on at other similar functions and even been in front of the entire audience with hats on. let me hear your take on this one.
Dear James: I appreciate your post. If you read the article it describes when wearing military uniforms a person (man or woman) is correctly to keep their hats on indoors during specific situations. As a civilian, it is the custom for to remove hats indoors because most hats are for outdoor use. In the military they are asked to help correct fellow military members as a part of a code of conduct for each other. However, this is not the case in civilian life. Perhaps no one at the event chose to inform you because: a) You may have taken offense at the person telling you; b) might be embarrassed; c) You may be a person who believes a person should be allowed to wear hats wherever and whenever you choose. Reality is it is not anyone’s responsibility to inform others of any errors, unless they know the person will appreciate such information. Regrettably nowadays we never know. As to these same people who have worn hats at other similar functions and even been in front of an audience with hats… perhaps they have since learned the inappropriateness of such actions themselves because I am assuming they weren’t wearing hats at the event you attended… ??? Beyond this I have no opinion without knowing all the facts. I recommend to always think about why and for what purpose you use an item. If it was for outdoor use, then no it is not meant to be worn indoors. Rarely do we see people wearing overcoats indoors. It’s always taken off once indoors. It’s as simple as that!
ANYbody that gives even the TINIEST fragment of a fresh turd about “public hat wearing” should be euthanized. I am shocked and appalled at the comments that you high-horse riding, cap-shaming freaks “shared”. I don’t even wear hats…I just could not FATHOM caring if someone does/did!!? Reading these made me want to race to the local “dealer” and pick up at least a dozen hats in whatever color would be most likely to collect the most stains in the shortest period of time. I would then just terrorize the town by showing up “hatted” at every possible establishment I could find…Just to see if some mouth-breathing, self-important jerk-off has the nerve to actually SAY something about my HAT. I HATE people that think this way. It HURTS.
For the record, I wear a hat because most of my hair has left. It is a common trait in my family; sucks! I apologize if it offends you, but it’s the way it has to be.
Syndi Seid: I really appreciate your responses to both of my post.
You sound like someone I would not mind talking to on any subject.
I will take all you said in to consideration and with an open mind.
If anyone comes to me correctly with respect, I am man enough to apologize
and recognize if I am in the wrong or need to do something the correct way.
Thanks again,
James
James,
You sound like a gentleman, which is unfortunately a rarity these days.
Yours sincerely,
Katherine
I love my hat, I will wear it indoors if I please. Who made you the Hat God?
I have a question regarding hats indoors. Am I allowed to put my hat on when I am on my way out of or into a buildIng? I work in an office building, so I am curious, do I need to remove the hat the moment I enter work, and may only put it back on again when I leave the building? Or may I remove it when I get to my cube (I always remove it before sitting down to work) and may I put it on again when I am leaving?
Mike: Men both took off their hats upon entering the actual office in which they worked and in some instances only took them off when they reached their actual office/cubicle. It’s fine to leave your hat on when in the public lobby area. My thinking is you can do either as you choose; however, a gentleman will always take off his hat if he ever stopped to speak to someone on route to his cubicle.
@Mike, if you watch Mad Men, that will give you an idea as to how men wore their hats.
Personally, as a fedora wearer during the cold months, I take my hat off upon entering the office, not the building.
Because cultural standards have changed, and not always necessarily for the better, there are still many of us who adhere to time-honored traditions.
What I find fascinating is, as a former veteran, and as baseball caps have become commonplace over the past 30 years or so, I see many older veterans wearing their caps inside eating establishments…WWII, Vietnam, etc. I’m a Gulf War vet.
Because these gentlemen come from an older time when tradition meant something, I’m amazed. Maybe because the baseball cap isn’t given the same consideration as other headgear.
Some years ago, my wife and I went into a restaurant. A fairly nice eatery in NYC. Feeling a bit of disregard for tradition, I wore my baseball cap inside to my table.
My wife told me to take it off. “No,” I replied, “everyone does it.”
Not a moment later, the maitre’ d, comes over and requests I doff my cap.
I sheepishly comply, knowing full well, it was out of character for me in the first place; thus giving my wife the satisfaction of scoring another social point on her husband.
Darn that woman. 🙂
There will always be those who only think of themselves because that is the way they wound up after ignoring manners. You do not remove your hat to make you feel good. You remove your hat out of respect for women. I can only imagine what my mother went through for 9 months. Any woman who carried a child or might do so, deserves that kind of respect. I am so sorry there are many who have no clue as to what respect is. When you are in doors, you remove your hat. This only applies to men. I’m thinking some want me to say, Married men who have children? That is stupid! Some people seem to think they are on this earth to only please themselves and not show respect to anyone. Especially women. I feel sorry for those individuals who are so muddled. A hat on a man’s head indoors is like flipping the bird to women. So there! I said it!
Bob, your answer above seems a bit sexist. Equal pay and equal opportunity kind of puts men and women on more level ground. I would never open a car door for a lady, nor would I take off my cap for a lady, While that may seem terribly rude to you, I feel it would be rude otherwise. Women are empowered, not the mindless possessions of by-gone eras, but fully integrated individuals.
Mike: You are a bit mixing apples and oranges in the analogy about equal pay for men and women as being the reason you would not take off your hat or open a door for a woman. By today’s more modern standards taking off your hat and opening a door for someone has nothing to do with being sexist. It’s more about choosing to show someone else a little kindness and courtesy. As a woman, I have often opened doors for men and women and I have taken off my hat when indoors. I have stood up from a seat on a bus to give it to an elderly man or woman. Showing respect and courtesy is showing you care about someone else more than yourself is truly the point.
Oh hey der, what about the ole’ Raccoon hat? Up here in Minnesota, we have to keep our heads wam. This one time… I saw this guy’s ear fall off because it was so cold.
What do you think?
Dear Lord Scott: I totally agree wearing the ole’Raccoon hat outdoors to keep your ear from falling off is important; however, still would like to think that the indoors would be warm enough to take it off. If not, than this may be the exception in being allowable. Stay warm!
What do you say to wearing a hat when dining al fresco? I take mine off, and put it on the floor if there’s no coat room, or give it to the waitress to deal with if they haven’t provided one, but I really don’t know the etiquette of the situation.
Richard: Dining al fresco—outdoors—is a gray area, depending if there is any shade over your head. If there is a nice canopy/gazebo, then your methods would be the right thing to do. However, I have been to outdoor dining rooms where the sun is beating down over me I would say wearing a baseball or other hat may be appropriate. There are exceptions to all guidelines.
Fair enough! I too do not hesitate to give up my seat to anyone I feel could benefit from sitting more than myself, on a bus, especially (as in almost always) a crowded airport tram or waiting area.
I’ve always held entry doors open for other people coming in behind me (those that do not take the door from me as they pass through, and instead, just keep walking with their hands at their side as if I were their personal doorman truly irk me to the point of wishing I’d let it hit them in the first place, but most are polite and say thank you as they take the door).
Conversely, I also would find it very awkward to open a car door for a female coworker, I feel that action could easily be miss-read and also find what’s socially acceptable in the work place is good practice in general society. I completely embrace the idea of empowered women, with the power to open their own car doors.
Richard’s comment above is interesting, as not wearing a hat while dinning shows a concern for not wanting to be rude, but yet, would hand said hat to the “waitress” making it that person’s problem to deal with.
Now days, they are called servers, not personal coat-check girls. They bring you food, to treat them as if they should be responsible for the clothing you wish to discard it rude, and negates the principles of etiquette you were attempting to uphold. The server is there for your dining experience, to use your position as a customer for services outside their job title is rude.
If there is a hostess at this eatery, then ASKING POLITELY of the hostess if they have a place you could shelve your hat while dining would be acceptable, if the answer is “no” then hold your hat, wear your hat, or go to another establishment, but do NOT expect anyone, or put anyone in the position of, having to touch your hat! it’s a personal item, and without knowing their daily grooming routine, I would not want to touch another’s hat, and would not assume someone would want to touch mine.
Reading these comments, it truly believe we need updated rules of etiquette, as some rules now seem sexiest and rude in of themselves
I’ve been shot down!
Mike is right. My thinking in giving my hat to a waitress was based on the idea that because the restaurant didn’t provide a hat-check or even a post to hang it on makes it’s care their problem to deal with. But since hats are rarely worn any more, I can see that a restaurant has no obligation to provide for the hat’s care and it’s still my problem?
Thanks, Mike.
Or you could set it in the chair beside you, leave it in your vehicle upon entering the establishment, or, since you’re going out to dine and taking it off anyway, simply not wear one.
I waited tables when I was much younger, and know I would prefer not to be made the bearer of responsibility for another’s garments, simply because I’m charged with bringing them food.
Thanks
Your comments about the military are in error.
Military in uniform (Dress or otherwise) will NOT wear any headgear indoors unless they are “under arms” on in a ceremonial position (Color Guard).
This has not changed in many years.
As with Scouts, should be similar, but depending on where you are and their unit, rules may differ. Most have no clue.
Lord knows we need a renewed level of respect and politeness in this world. However, the extremity of the “rules” in this blog are slightly if not grossly overstated; particularly the undertone of a baseball cap somehow being more offensive than any other type of hat.
There are certainly times and places to remove ones hat: national anthems, formal affairs, religious locations, nice restaurants…etc. However, the socially acceptable rules aren’t quite as simplistic as the author would have you believe. Times, social views, and customs, do change and in this case have done so.
I have been in the military, I am an Eagle Scout, I am highly educated (Masters of Finance), and yet I wouldn’t worry about, or even expect to, offend anyone by wearing my hat (lord forbid a baseball cap at that) while eating at an informal location (e.g., McDonalds, Chipotle, In-N-Out..etc). Wearing a hat would also not be offensive or disrespectful when walking into my buddies home (who probably has a hat on also), or even at the movie theater (particularly as long as it WAS a baseball cap as it does not obstruct the view of those behind). Moreover, 99% of those under 45, perhaps even 50, and a large number of even those under 65, would not take any offense, or probably even notice, in any of these situations. In fact many of them would be doing the same or would not hesitate to do the same on another day.
To say customs of respect and acceptability don’t evolve would be synonymous with saying women should not be allowed to vote, whites and blacks should still be segregated and certainly not have a mixed relationship, and women should follow behind their men and not speak unless spoken to in mixed company…etc., all in the name of respect and social acceptability.
So, in the name of renewed respect and etiquette let us concern ourselves with that which really matters, like how we speak to and actually treat one another, as opposed to outdated gestures of flourishment.
Don’t get me wrong, as I said before, it is certainly time for a renewed level of respect and etiquette in this world. However, let us focus on the “please(s)”, “thank you(s)”, “how do you do(s)”, “may I help you with that(s)”, “after you(s)”, “yes & no sir(s) and mam(s)”…etc.; as well as pulling our heads and faces out of our phones and devices to actually interact with one another once again, and not worry about something that doesn’t affect you directly like the color of another’s skin, ones sexual orientation, and especially not whether or not one is wearing a hat in a informal setting.
It’s a piece of cloth on your head. It makes impressions on people. It creates a massive comment list on a random page on the internet… but it’s more than that. You will rarely see me without a hat. I do not ask others to remove clothing or make up or earrings or anything else from their body. There is no actual harm caused by wearing a hat in front of someone who doesn’t like hats. And if I went around life doing all I could not to offend people I would have to lock myself down in my house.
Sorry, my comment was more towards the other comments, rather than the article. I don’t agree with your points – but I respected your opinion and read it with the best subjectivity I could 🙂 Thank you for creating a strong discussion on hats.
This rule is stupid. I’ve even read where it’s okay for women to wear a hat at the table but not for a man. Wow, no bias there.
More importantly, please explain WHY it’s rude for a guy to wear a hat at the table? Is it because of religious reasons, political, socioeconomic, etc.? Saying “Because that’s the way it is”, or “Because etiquette says so” doesn’t fly. My parents grew up in an age when minorities had to sit at the back of a bus or gays weren’t allowed to marry because “that’s the way it’s done”. Prescribing a rule upon someone where you can’t back it up with a legitimate reason, or even worse, singling out one gender vs. another is idiotic.
Augie: You and others have missed the point of the article. It is not saying anyone is “never” to wear hats indoors. It’s more about what type of hat is to be worn. Historically men only wore outdoor head coverings which in this instance makes them inappropriate to wear indoors. Again, historically women wore fashion hats to accompany the entire outfit she is wearing. In this century, most women do not wear fashion hats and men do have appropriate indoor hats. Also, both men and women often must wear hats indoors for religious and medical reasons. The bottom-line to the article is how baseball caps, fedoras, and other “outdoor” type hats should not be worn indoor and for every reader to consider doing this out of respect and courtesy. Beyond this, it is up to the individual to choose how s/he wants to behave and to be perceived in society… which we call etiquette.
Val, there are 3 wars being waged in the USA right now. Pretty much everything else you said is agreeable, but i gotta correct you on this even though it has very little to do with the subject at hand. The military has its own relation on hat wearing anyhow, and anyone disrespectful enough to correct a serviceman without being in the chain of command somewhere is just ignorant beyond belief. Hats are personal accessories and exhibit a person’s personality, how that’s interpreted by anyone else is their problem.
Daniel: I did not find Val’s comments to which you were responding. This message is to address the issue about hats exhibiting a person’s personality. Yes it is. However, if the hat the person is wearing was designed and intended for outdoor use, then the person should take it off while indoors… whether a man or woman and whether it is considered fashionable by the individual person. Being in “fashion” does not make it right.
From the research I’ve read, hats were taken off in the 19th century b/c they were used to minimize the dirt/dust that would get into a person’s hair. This was common in large cities where coal dust was prevalent and outside from doing farm work, living in the West, etc. The last thing you wanted was to sit down at the dinner table and get dirt/dust in your mashed taters.
Flash forward 150 years and this isn’t an issue any more. Hats such as ball caps, beanies, etc. are worn as a sense of fashion, preference, fan loyalty, etc. It’s not an indoor/outdoor issue. To ask someone to take their hat off at the table b/c of some outdated sense of “etiquette” is idiocy.
is this article a satire or something? this article aggravates me… it’s like yall hate people to have some creativity. Who cares if someone wears there hat crooked or backwards…
Lol: Yes, we do live in a country where as long as something is not against the law you may do as you please. This article was merely pointing out subtleties to readers—who may not be as aware—so they have a choice of adhering to time-honored etiquette, or not. It is all up to the individual to make those choices and when they do, to understand the potential positive or negative consequences.
Lol: Yes, we do live in a country where as long as something is not against the law you may do as you please. This article was merely pointing out subtleties to readers—who may not be as aware—so they have a choice of adhering to time-honored etiquette, or not. It is all up to the individual to make those choices and when they do, to understand the potential positive or adverse consequences.
Lol: We do live in a country where it citizens are free to do as they please… as long as it isn’t against the law. The article is merely to share a perspective to consider. Thereafter the choice is yours whether you want to agree and do as the article describes, or not, and be fully informed of any consequences when making the wrong choice.
My daughter is seeing a man that she says is a true cowboy. I am not sure what that means. He was going to join the entire family (none of us had met him) on Christmas Day. When we entered my daughters home he was sitting on the couch with a cowboy hat (large) on. I did not say anything but I could not believe he kept hi hat on all day except when we ate. Your thoughts?
Dear Sylvia: I was pleased to read the man did take his hat off during dinner. Did he put his hat back on after dinner?… just curious. In our home it is a guideline not one wear outdoor hats indoors… especially a cowboy hat which was invented for outdoor wearing. That said, when I am in someone else’s home, it is not up to me to say anything… after all it’s their home. From this perspective you did well. People are allowed to do whatever they choose in their own home. The most—if you are so compelled—is to mention this to your daughter, because it was in her home this took place. Historically, good and bad cowboys were always depicted as having the best manners, by always removing their hats in the company of ladies and in someone’s home. The only time I remember cowboys kept their hats on was a saloon. I would suggest the cowboy in your daughter’s life watch a few old TV shows, such as “Bonanza” and “The Big Valley” for pointers on cowboy manners. Good luck!
I have a condition called alopecia areata and I wear a hat to cover up a big bald spot in the back of my head. To me it’s embarrassing . Would this be OK for me to wear a hat ?
Joe: Absolutely, it’s fine for you to wear a hat indoors or out. The key is wearing a hat that is appropriate to the place and environment you are in. The emphasis to this article was merely to point out certain hats are meant for outdoor wearing and should not be worn indoors. Have fun finding hats you will enjoy wearing at all times. In fact have fun having one or more custom hats made just for you!
Well I am posting some insight to my original question I posted a couple of years ago. First, let me say this is one of the most controversial blogs I have been involved in.
Disclaimer: Because of the large amount of posts i will honestly say i have not read them all so i apologize if i am repeating an earlier post.
My original question that got me involved in this discussion was, Why is it improper or disrespectful to wear a hat inside?
I was speaking with a gentleman in the men’s fashion industry and i asked him that question. He basically said that a lot of our tradition comes from the English since our country was first developed by mostly English. It was disrespectful to be in the presence of the King wearing a hat. That’s it.
So unless there is a King present, I will probably still wear a hat indoors at times. Well, even if a King is present…
My question is about dress hats with a tag inside. Does the hat go on with the tag to the back of the head? Or do you wear it any way you’d like? Especially those with feathers or a design where does that go? Just wondering….I love hats and want to make sure I’m wearing them right.
Annette: To my knowledge labels are generally worn on the back and is also an indicator which is the backside. All hats are designed and intended to be worn a specific way; however and of course the wearer may choose to wear it any way they choose. When wearing feathers and designs, my best suggestion is to ask the sales person who sold you the hat how to best wear the hat. Most designers and manufacturers will show sales staff how to then show customers the best way to wear their hats. Since you like hats—and I admit I rarely wear them—you may want to bring your hats into a millinery store to have them show and educate you about hats and hat wearing. They are the experts.
Wait! If your Minnie Pearl you leave the tag hanging out! However, a woman who buys a hat should know which end is the front and which is the back. the Tag should have nothing to do with it. Some tags are on the right or left so It”s better to identify the front and back before you buy it.
Dear Bob Rollins: Thank you for the post. I agree if “you’re” Minnie Pearl you always leave the tag out which was a part of her “character image.” Also, a person should always ask a salesperson how a hat should be worn… according to the original designer. Yet also in today’s society many people go against norm and wear items according to their own sense of style and image… as you choose to defy conventional norm… yet it’s all about when to do something and when not to do it, depending on where you are.
Who invented that “hat off” rule? How did it started?
I think people just don’t know what the etiquette is, not intentionally being an ass by being rebellious. Poor parenting, teaching, or society in general. I was always taught a woman may always wear a hat, regardless of situation and it is rude to ask her to remove it. Apparently not the case.
Stephanie,
What you were taught is correct if the lady in question is wearing a lady’s dress hat. Baseball caps and the like were were designed for men. As a result, men’s rules apply. Now, let’s say you decide to show up at a sporting event like Royal Ascot or Wimbledon in an elegant day or summer dress complete with a dress hat, nobody in her/his right mind would take offence. On the contrary, you would not be permitted to enter the Royal enclosure without a hat. The same rule applies for gentlemen, except that they wear a top hat, which comes off when they enter a building or meet a member of the Royal family. Troublemakers, including dress code violators, are taken away by security.
P.S. I think you are quite correct in your assessment that most people just don’t know any better. Those who defy etiquette and manners deliberately are in the minority and should be ignored.
I was recently attended a wedding. For the trip there, for the part outside, I word my hat. I took it off for the indoor wedding ceremony (Boat House in Central Park, NYC). Back outside, I wore the hat. We went back inside for dinner, there were no empty chairs to place it on, the waitstaff had no place to put it, so I wore it. I received multiple compliments on the hat, but also comments from two people because I was wearing the hat indoors. In NOLA, where I purchased the hat, it was not unusual to see people wear hats inside in restaurants.
This wasn’t a cap, it’s an expensive Stetson straw hat. Fashionably, it went with the suit. What should I have done with the hat?
Dear Jim B: Thank you for writing. You appeared to have learned that regardless of what other people may do wherever you are, it’s not something you necessarily have to follow… as in the case of folks in your area typically wearing hats indoors.
I understand the dilemma and commend you for all the effort you took to “not” wear a hat indoors. Among the choices for the future include… and depending on your own preferences: Place the hat under your own chair for safety from getting crushed by others. If you don’t prefer it being on the floor, bring a handkerchief/cloth to lay on the floor first; Locate a place in the room to place it safely… can’t imagine the boat house didn’t have a coat closet or hook someplace; or request the waitstaff person take the hat to keep it safe. The key is not to place it at the center of the table and as you learned… not to wear it. Good luck!
I don’t believe all hat etiquette should be followed unless there is a practical reason out of consideration.
When a man walks with a girl on a sidewalk, the man is supposed to walk between the woman and the road. This rule has a practical basis in consideration for the woman. In case a car swerves off the road, the man will get hit instead of the woman. So, this rule makes sense…out of courtesy.
But hat etiquette is not based on any practical courtesy. Removing a hat has NO PRACTICAL benefit in being courteous or considerate to anybody. These rules are only based on only what has become a custom.
For this reason, I think men should be able to wear hats whenever they want. And there is no logical reason for anybody to be offended by a hat unless it smells like shit.
You guys realize when you say “poor parenting” is offensive right?? This entire threat is a matter of opinion, and every culture has different traditions. There might be a civilization there it’s customary to take your shoes off in any indoor areas and they find it “offensive” that your wearing your dress shoes in the church, wedding, restaurant, or whatever. Non of you are right and non of you are wrong. It’s up to the person visiting your house to ascertain what your cultural rules are and do those out of respect. If you come to my house please leave your hats on, but do please take those dirty shoes off before you track animal fecal matter all over my lovely home… And whatever else your shoes pick up in public restrooms.
You guys realize when you say “poor parenting” is offensive right?? This entire thread is a matter of opinion, and every culture has different traditions. There might be a civilization there it’s customary to take your shoes off in any indoor areas and they find it “offensive” that your wearing your dress shoes in the church, wedding, restaurant, or whatever. Non of you are right and non of you are wrong. It’s up to the person visiting your house to ascertain what your cultural rules are and do those out of respect. If you come to my house please leave your hats on, but do please take those dirty shoes off before you track animal fecal matter all over my lovely home… And whatever else your shoes pick up in public restrooms.
Somebody has problems with people wearing hats? Crazy people have problems with oeople wearing hats. Women and men are equal. We do not live in the fifties anymore. If you gave a problem with somebody wearing a hat, that is your problem. If someone wearing a hat makes you mad, then you need to control your anger. Go to esablishmemts that agree with your anti-hat wako ideas. This is purely religious and has nothing to do with respect. You can convince yourself it is a respect issue, bit you will be fooling yourself. Its more respectful to live and let live. Hats are trivial, don’t glorify them. We know pop culture glorifies hats. What a joke. Who comes up with this stuff. Oh yeah a religious zealot who likes to tell people what to do. Thanks but no thanks. We dont to need people fighting because you feel hats are bad indoors or outdpors or during national anthems. Dont be a sheep and victim of social proof.
Seriously? Man made laws and rules regarding wearing a hat indoors. Sorry folks, no disrespect but this is by far one of the silliest things i ever heard. I will keep my hat on (except for church or national anthem or other formal events.) thank you but other than that I completely disagree with your take on this matter.
Why do you consider it necessary to uncover in, church, for the national anthem or other, formal events?
What is it about those situations that you believe deserve more respect than other times?
Grandma: Most hat wearing traditions came from some historical situation that has been passed down through time. It’s not a matter of some situations deserving more respect than others, it’s simply a matter of what is customary within one culture to another. Case in point, there was a time most women wore gloves when out and about. Now, rarely do you see a woman wearing gloves, anywhere in the world. In my mind, you can never be wrong whenever choosing to take off your hat when in the company of others indoors… man or woman!
I guess people like you, John, are the kind who would fart and burp in public without saying excuse. Because that is what the people of the 50ties. You are the kind who don’t use a indicator when changing lanes, cause old people did that, now days people just know you are going to change. Why? Because you seems like the kind(type) who are unaware of common decency and polite ethics. Did you marry before you slept with a woman? I guess not too, cause the Voortrekkers did that, yes? Grow up, if you can’t, Atleast grow respect for yourself and you fellow humans.
Let me tell you something right quick — if someone feels like judging me because I wear a god-forsaken baseball cap indoors, I truly couldn’t give a flying poop WTF their opinion is of me. Is that clear?
Anyone that is that stuck on themselves where they think they have a right to judge my intelligence or my character because I choose to wear a ball cap indoors is not worthy to judge either of those things about me because they are superficial, self-absorbed jackasses themselves.
So…I don’t really care what you think about me wearing a ball cap indoors because it’s not valid.
And before you start, I also earned a post-graduate degree from one of the best universities in the United States, if not the entire Earth. I’d also be willing to bet I’m probably a lot higher on the bell curve than you are.
I did some research and found out that people wore hats to protect their hair from dirt and weather. If you wore a hat in someone’s house, it was like you were saying the person’s house is too dirty to take your hat off. It was ok for women to leave a “fashion” hat on because it was part of the outfit and often was pinned into the hair. It was not worn as protection for the hair, in fact rain bonnets were worn over the hat to protect it from wet weather.
I am a 31 year old female. My brother was taught to follow the hat rules, so I grew up knowing them as well. Some kids my age were taught not to care about it, other kids were taught like me. I didn’t notice this as much when I was a teenager, but when I was dating in my 20’s I sure did notice. I found that men who followed etiquette rules, not just the hat rule, were generally more respectful and thoughtful. Not always, but most of the time.
I don’t get upset and pissed off when I see someone wearing their hat in a place that I learned a hat shouldn’t be worn, but as I get to know the person it soon becomes clear if they just didn’t know it is rude, or if they just don’t give a crap. If you have an attitude that you are going to do what you want and who cares what other people are going to think, then don’t get upset when people think that you are rude or disrespectful. Remember it is a choice you are making.
Grandma, I recognize that this is a blog regarding social etiquette, some people really believe in this hat rule, so to clarify my position on hats so that you may understand the motivation, I remove my hat for any religious ceremonies as it is God who is so gracious as to let me have the ability or choice to wear a hat. I remove my hat during the national Anaheim in respect for my fallen brothers and sisters who died in Combat or have sacrificed for the good of our beloved country, but I will not do it because of some man made rule that you must take your hat off indoors, this is a military rule. You remove your hat when you cross the threshold going indoors and put it on when you cross the threshold going outdoors. I no longer serve, but I do serve The Lord and my hat will follow his direction, not the military’s. No disrespect.
Hello everyone across “the pond”,
Coming from England rules & manners were drilled into us from a very early age(not that we didn’t rebel against them sometimes!)
My Mum and Dad wore hats, Dad would take his off when he entered someone’s house but not when he went into a shop and definitely not at a football match (too cold), he would also “tip” his hat when he spoke to a lady. He did take off his hat if eating out in a restaurant and would remove his hat for the National Anthem or if a funeral passed.
Mum wore a hat to go out and would keep her hat on whilst eating out during the day. Rules for women was much more relaxed.
The rules in England are much more relaxed now except at formal occasions although elderly folk will usually follow the rules above.
Regarding other points raised I do hold doors open for anyone following me or for someone struggling with kids or bags but I also agree with one of your writers about people just walking through without even saying thanks!
When I was younger I would always stand for someone on the bus, male or female if they needed the seat, nowadays I am at the age where people give me their seats and I always say thanks you.
So here is a little insight into hat wearing etc from England – from what I read not a lot different from you just more engrained by about 500 years.
Regards to all… Sue.
Removing your hat indoors is a sign of respect to the people around you and it is a man-made rule weather at church, during the national anthem or at a Denny’s. God never told anybody to take their hat off in church.
Refusing to remove your hat is like wearing a coat in somebody’s house. It implies that you are uncomfortable eager to leave.
The original custom comes from the fact that hats hide you features. Which indicates that you do not want to be identified and can not be trusted.
If you don’t want to take your hat off, don’t. Don’t shake hands, say thank you, or look people in the eye.
There is no law against being rude. Just don’t be upset when people judge you for it.
This is a free world….telling someone to remove their hat is like telling a gay person to stop being gay…..we can do what we want…wear what we want shit!!! Life too short to have someone telling u what u should do….I wear a hat cause it my me feel good + it hide my funny shape head….If people worry about they damn self life would much better….and less depression
Holy cow, people feel really strongly about their hat-wearing rights!
As far as I’m concerned you practice the local/social etiquette out of respect for the people you’re surrounded with, not because you’re being oppressed into wearing a hat.
If you’re going to wear a baseball hat to a fine dining establishment, fine. I doubt anyone is going to stop you, but don’t expect people to respect you when you’re blatantly disrespecting them by disrupting the atmosphere that they’ve chosen to be immersed in that evening.
DJ: Thanks for the comment. My add is when in a fine dining restaurant it would not surprise me the manager would ask the person to please take their hat off while entering the dining room.
I’ll be honest…
As a European I was extremely shocked when I visited America and saw men wearing hats indoors.
Sorry to be rude but it shows a complete lack of education.
Some kind of vulgar modernism.
Similar to Americans going into a sauna or steam room almost fully dressed.
Even in airports and other areas…The current trend of wearing baseball caps everywhere “to be cool” is some kind of American new trend that has come over to Europe.
All this applies to sunglasses aswell
Can I wear my hat in my own house?
Isaiah: Indeed, in your own home you may wear your hat to your hearts content, albeit well mannered guests may think it a bit strange… nevertheless, it’s your choice to do as you please in your own home.
I’m an older man who has a habit of wearing straw trilby’s in the summer and usually a homburg with a more modern narrow brim in the other seasons. I always remove my hat in a restaurant, in a home, when a woman is present, in any confined space with a woman present. Also tip my hat when passing a woman on the street who looks at me. (I haven’t been sprayed with pepper spray as of this date) I enjoy the old rules. I think they are not just polite, but actually fun. It gives me a good feeling of recognizing the presence of others.
I’m old school to a fault and enjoy being so. My question is about indoor shopping malls. I would take it off when I entered an actual store, but can I or should I wear it when in the large concourse that is designed to look out of doors? This is also a question for other indoor areas that are really covered outdoor venues. Such as your comments about airports.
If I can’t wear it there, it seems as if I should leave it in the car so I have more free hands to carry the lady’s bags. Which I always enjoy doing.[grin]
Thank you,
John
John E: Thank you for writing. Hats off to you for keeping old-fashioned courtesies alive, regardless of trends being otherwise. Indoor shopping malls when outside a store is considered public space. As a result it is perfectly acceptable to wear hats in these public areas. While it is again the old-fashioned custom to remove hats when in a specific store, this has also gone by the wayside. I agree with your thought to simply leave your hat in the car when going to an indoor mall. After all, isn’t this why they were invented in the first place… to help shoppers not have to be wearing hats, heavy coats, carrying umbrellas, etc. I even leave my sun glasses in the car whenever going to an indoor mall.
I have a follow-up question about shopping. (I have begun wearing a Panama hat, on advice of dermatologist, as peventative against skin cancer.). The hat-on in shopping mall makes sense as it is a public space, and a virtual hallway. Individual stores are a grey area? What if you need to use both hands to do the shopping, push a shopping cart? (examples: Costco, Wal-Mart, Target, Safeway, Tesco, and so on). I might guess hat-on. But a fancy shop (example: jewelry store) where you don’t necessarily need both hands, and there are counters where you might easily put your hat down: hat-off in these cases? Other venue questions: airport, train station, bus station, airplane hangar? I am guessing these are all public spaces, and hat-on?
Jim: When needing to use both hands to push a cart at a public store, you may keep it on or place the hat in the cart. When in a finer store, especially when in a shopping mall, you may leave the hat on. When visiting Tiffany’s, however, it is best to take the hat off and place it on the counter. Just make sure you don’t leave it (and be sure to hide your name and number in the hat, under one of the inside bands). Yes, airports and other public facilities you may leave your hat on.
My brother suffered severe head trauma in January & a large piece of his skull had to be removed at the time of surgery to save his life. The skull flap was replaced, of course leaving a fairly prominent scar. He wears a baseball cap to cover it. Recently when going for lunch to a grill with our stepmother we had just sat down when she leaned across the table and said, “If you’re going to be in here with me, you have to remove your hat.” I felt like I’d been gut-punched. But, my brother obliged. Now I have this to say:
There was a young woman who was preparing an Easter meal for her new husband. He watched as she cut off both ends of a beautiful ham and put it in a baking pan. He asked why she did that, as he thought it rather wasteful. She replied that her grandmother and mother did it that way. He didn’t understand. So next time she was with her mother she explained the situation. Her mother chuckled and said, “Honey, we only did that because we didn’t have a big enough pan!” Why should we hang onto old customs “just because.” I care more about how I am treated by another individual than how they are dressed. Who they are inside is far more important than what they are wearing on the outside. And as long as someone is not causing harm to another person, disrespecting them or blocking their vision … I see no reason in the world why they shouldn’t be able to wear a hat or cap when and where they choose. Exceptions would be places of worship, formal occasions & upscale restaurants. I feel we need new rules of hat etiquette for this century.
Karen: Thank you for writing. The story about cutting the ham is one I’ve certainly known about for years and is a great example of outdated customs we no longer need to do. However, the wearing of hats isn’t the same. It is a most valid custom… based on the specific type of hat you are wearing. If you are wearing an outdoor style hat indoors, then this is inappropriate, period. In your brother’s situation, my best recommendation is to find an appropriate head covering that is appropriate to wear indoors. Typically for men they are forms of rimless caps in various types of cloth. Good luck!
AMEN. Times they are a-changin’. What used to be back so long ago was, to me, created to control people. We are now beginning to undo those ‘traditions’ and or ‘etiquette’ because what people were trained to believe about what we need to wear, see, do, say, when, where, and how is needed in order to free ourselves from…..control. Why should it matter who is wearing what, when, and how. I am 61 years old and find that all those rules are what have cause upset in many merely from everyone ‘agreeing’ and ‘disagreeing’. Anything that causes confrontation cannot be a good idea. If we all ‘allow’ ourselves to relax and let go of what someone else chooses to do, I truly believe we will all become much more at ease in living our OWN life. If we all just choose to stay in our own business and not expect anyone else to do something in order to NOT cause an upset then we can all go along our merry way of letting go of what anyone else chooses to do to make their own self happy. We all win. I’m willing to let go of what anyone else is doing in order to be happy so that I don’t have to be policing what is really not mine to police to begin with. Live and let live, that’s win win. And, no, the world will not go to pot if we do this, that would be fear running amuck for no good reason, we have bigger fish to fry than caring about who wears what, where and when.
I mean, who are we to really care what anyone else is doing, how they’re doing it, or when they do it? Think about it, really take ‘thought’ to that. And, where did you learn those beliefs from…..because you didn’t come in knowing this, you weren’t born with this, you ‘learned’ it. So what else do you think IS that…..isn’t? Think about it.
I wear a cowboy hat and you will hardly ever see me without it, except at church or more high class places and it’s acceptable where I live to wear your hat to dinner, to a dance, etc. But it is not ok to wear a hat inside a home. I guess some of there rules depend in where you are and the type of hat. IS this true?
Jon: When I watch old American cowboy movies, gentleman always removed their hats indoors, at dinner, in front of a women. Time has allowed men to become lazy to remove their hats in various situations. As a result, if it is the custom in your area to wear hats in certain situations, the lesson here is to be mindful where it is acceptable and where it’s not. This is etiquette. Point: Slurp soup in China, but not in the U.S.
Ironically, the decay of manners regarding questions of hats resulted from a trend to not wearing them at all started by President Kennedy. Now that men have been wearing them again, they need to learn the polite ways of doing so.
Now, I must say that it would be MUCH easier to be polite if restuarants and concert venues would step up and provide hat and coat check services, for which I would be happy to tip. I had a nice Irish wool cap which was stolen from me because I left it on an honor system coat rack at a restaurant. The adaptive strategy of hanging one’s jacket on the seat back does not work for overcoats, rain coats, nor for a hat.
I manage, despite these inconveniences, to remove my hat when necessary to avoid rudeness, even though I am from Ohio! The only time I feel comfortable wearing a hat indoors is if the space is unheated (such as a warehouse or garage), or if I am playing music onstage and the hat is part of a stage outfit. People who wear hats while eating indoors are not individualistic, they are rude. If my Ohio mother had ever seen me eating indoors with my hat on, she would have removed it, and told me to apologize for being disrespectful.
I am an agnostic, and I personally find religion to be fairly irrelevant, but I would never wear a hat inside a church, nor fail to wear one inside a Temple or synagogue that requires it. People who adapt a casual style need to understand that it does not apply everywhere. Even when I am wearing flip flops or no shoes at all when I walk into bar on the beach, I find it is not a problem to just take off my hat if I am wearing one. You strident snap-cap cultists don’t get to call me a snob just because my parents taught me to be civilized and respectful.
I agree that the requirements of politeness need to change regarding gender. Men sometimes wear hats purely for style, which is done in a less conformist way than in the past, yet if we are not barbarians, we take them off indoors. Women should do the same, and they should do the same when anthems are being played. Most national anthems are not long enough to cause wrinkles or skin cancer, even in the tropics. NO one should wear a hat in a cinema, concert hall, or theatre, least of all a tall man sitting in front of a shorter person, I’ve been on movie dates where we’ve had to move because my date couldn’t see over some dolt with a hat. If it had been a Pink Floyd concert in an arena, she might have ridden on my shoulders, but that isn’t an option in a sit down place.
In summation, rudeness is not modern, it is ignorant.
I am a teacher at a K12 private Christian school and our dress code specifies that hats not be worn inside the building. However, my constant struggle with high school boys is their questioning WHY it’s considered impolite or inappropriate. They are so caught up in “fairness” and just today I had a boy ask why a girl could wear a head band but he couldn’t. Got any good answers to WHY? I’ve been searching for one my whole career and have yet to find one.
GAC: I understand your dilemma. Young people are constantly questioning guidelines they do not like. Nevertheless, what’s important is to always offer “some reasonable” response. Here’s my best shot: A) Fairness is in reality unto the beholder, based on what’s considered “etiquette” and a part of the culture in which you live. Why is it fair that Asians get to slurp their soup and westerners don’t? B) A head band is not a hat. There is nothing stopping a boy from wearing a head band if he chooses and for girls to wear certain hats that should equally be taken off indoors. C) Part of the “why” lies in history. Men used to be the primary fashion hat wearers in society—not women—both indoors and outdoors. When hats for women were first introduced, they were primarily fashion hats to complement their entire ensemble. As such women they were allowed to be worn indoors which still holds true til today. D) Girl’s today are allowed to wear all types of hats, including fedoras and baseball caps. If they do, they must equally remove them while indoors, same as boys. Most hats seen today are for outdoor wearing. As such it is not the etiquette for boys or girls to wear them indoors. E) The inequity as it appears that boys are not allowed to wear hats indoors and girls are. The real issue is until a men’s hat designer “invents” hats for men to wear indoors and sets a new fashion and trend, therein lies the inequity, if any. Men just don’t have indoor styled hats available to wear. They are primarily to wear outdoors. Again, if girls/women wear such hats, they too must take them off when indoors… that’s being fair! I hope this helps. Good luck!
I was quite pleased to see this blog as perhaps you can help shed light on some of my questions.
I generally have no problems with the traditional rules of etiquette regarding the wearing of hats.
But I have had a health problem which has presented it’s share of headaches. For the last 15 years I have suffered from an extreme form of cold intolerance. If the ambient temperature is less than 80 degrees
I become ill after a certain time of exposure. And the one part of the body most quickly affected is the head. And in this modern day the air conditioner has become my number one enemy. So I have learned to keep my head warm at all times, except when temperatures exceed 85 degrees and I find I can remove my hat–and everyone else is putting their hats on to keep cool and out of the sun! I even had to get a doctors excuse so I could keep my hat on indoors during work.
My wife and I love to travel, so I have learned to carry a cheap wig I can throw on when visiting Cathedrals and churches.We do like to Cruise a lot and here is where some of the problems arise. For example, on Formal nights when wearing a Tux I have usually been able to get by wearing a Homburg in the dining room and when someone in the ship’s showroom or theater asks me to take it off, I say sure and throw on my wig and they usually realize there is a reason I wear a hat and apologize profusely. When Dancing on the ship, no-one has ever asked me to remove my hat. At some Formal British Teas when asked to remove my hat, I have either had a wig to throw on or took my hat off briefly and then put it back on in order to stay well. And when on Jury duty I have had to get permission from the judge to keep a hat on in the court room . I do have a couple of berets which I can wear at more casual dining experiences.
I truly don’t care whole lot what people think, but it truly is my handicap,
and for example, I would never think of asking an elderly person to give up their walking cane.
I think that there are more people with problems similar to mine,
and they simply stay out of public places for that reason — which I
choose not to do. But I do sometimes get tired of explaining why when people ask. I have even thought of putting a sign on my hat that says
“My Handicap”
Thankyou for shraing your thoughts
I was a bit disappointed that you chose not to respond to my problem, so here is a simple question. For those of us that become physically ill without having our heads covered, what is the proper head covering to be worn indoors with a tuxedo? I was told at the hat shop where I buy my hats that a Top Hat was the proper choice, but not to wear anything less than a Homburg. Thanks
This Monday past, I was asked to remove the hood on my winter jacket by the Mayor of my city (on a day barking -2 degrees). I’d just approached a podium to speak to the city council. I wasn’t going to let him throw my thinking off that easily…so I thought. But I did! Out of fear I followed his order. Even though I’d full intention to take it off myself thank you very much…Before every meeting he prays “Dear God. Send down upon us the ability to have integrity…”(quote) This is how he tawks.
What had happened was the man who spoke before me was making goofy pointless commentary about hoodies while wearing and was tirelessly wearing everyone out, they were begging him to finish up.
I don’t know why I thought it would be funny in retrospect, but it feels like he assaulted me. I was trying so hard to think about how I could make my point effectively in just 3minutes. I thought Id start out lighthearted, to try to gain some composure…really because I had some heavy stuff I wanted to speak delicately about (not far fetched to say life or death matters). But this mayor lives to eat people alive. I guess part if me wished I’d ignored him. But then what would be the point? This is how he throws people off the train of thought. Verbally and emotionally.
I did so remove my hood immediately because he seemed to turn red, start to loose his temper(before I had barely uttered a word).
Long story short there is a history to why ladies, women, girls are allowed to decide for themselves the fashion statement, or lack their of when deciding when and wear their hat makes them feel safe, protected, hover in the background…whatever her reason…a man snapping at her to remove it is vulgar, I’d even go as far as to suggest borderline violent.
I used to look amazing in hats. Now I look like funny cartoons. But that’s ok.
http://www.advancedetiquette.com/2010/04/hat-etiquette/
Well, I have to say the comment section here (though I am generally averse to reading ‘the bottom half of the internet’) has been a joy to read. So much heated debate, so much fluff, so much emotion!
I just thought I’d pop in and add my 2c – not that it matters at this point. The backstory: I’m a born and raised Australian, now living in Germany, 30 years old, steady job, degree, and with grand ambitions to discover which country has the most perfect skimming rocks, also I’m gay (let’s not start that debate please – heard it all before – it is unfortunately pertinent to the story). Anyhow, as it happens, I was a tad rushed for work this morning, and running out the door realised I hadn’t done my hair.
Naturally, panic set in. I couldn’t go out in public looking like the wreck of the Hespress, nor had I time to stand before my reflection and – as most days – spend a minute or two forking chemical glue-gas through my locks to make myself presentable. Thus, in a moment of what I considered shrewdness, I grabbed a baseball cap my 14 year old brother gave me for Christmas (bless) and darted out the door. I wore it into the office (cue dramatic flourish).
After lunch, I was actually cornered by a workmate in the kitchen, who said, “don’t you know it’s rude to wear a hat indoors?”, to which I replied “am I offending you?”, to which he replied “erm … no”. Satisfied with the answer, I nodded, proceeded to rinse my dish, put it in the dishwasher, and returned to my desk. But the splinter of unrest had been edged between my cerebrum.
Out of curiosity (and, having been raised to never rest my elbows on the dinner table, to open doors for men and women, and generally bend at unnatural angles to make sure I’m not offending anyone within a 100km radius) I pondered the question, “why oh why did he find that so offensive?”. Surely my workmate’s delayed response revealed more to me about the situation than words had, and the words of my mother came echoing through my mind: “Jamie, take that hat off!”, “Jim Jim, put that hat somewhere!”, and “I love this new Nespresso machine!” – the latter perhaps because I’d just made myself a cup of Arpeggio, reminding me I had given mum a new machine for Christmas.
That aside, within moments of searching, I stumbled upon this website.
Now, as I have read the post, and the comments (and again, bravo! You’ve all done a smashing job at rustling some feathers!), I realised that the last twenty minutes of my life have both illuminated me, and disappointed me.
First, I have to get the issue of IQ off my chest. This ‘foreigner’ the article mentions may indeed have been – as my initial suspicions suggested – an inter-dimensional robot capable of determining within microseconds the IQ of an individual based on an ‘at-a-glance’ body scan. But I doubt it. Last I heard, the body-scanning-robot imbroglio had been quelled by a troupe of French acrobats turned superheroes (if you haven’t been to Cirque du Soleil, I highly advise it!). So they no longer exist.
More likely, it was some opinionated scoundrel looking to spread dogma about an outdated notion whereby one judges another based on appearance. Having had insults yelled in my direction many times on the street simply for holding someone’s hand, let me assure you, that’s not a nice practice. In fact, it’s far more offensive than wearing a hat indoors (surprising – yet true)!
This lead me to realising that I don’t believe wearing a hat, forward, backward, sideways or dipped in salad-dressing is in any way a determinier of IQ, though the latter may smell somewhat and should probably lead to psychiatric assessment.
As for courtesy. For the people that say they haven’t heard a good reason to wear a hat indoors, what about “because many things have changed since the middle ages and even the 1920’s, including the fact that men are no longer required to wear black-tie to dinner parties and women no longer wear corsets”. Personally I find my ruffled, unkept hair far more offensive than someone being reminded of “Miami ’78” (why do clothing items always state random years in such proud fashion)? Really, would you rather have a conversation with Frankenstein’s monster, or someone who is considerate enough to know you’d feel uncomfortable with their appearance? Are you insulted because you have an allergy to the fabric used in said hat, or are you simply uncomfortable that someone doesn’t have the same ideas about formality as you?
Yes, I’ll take it off at dinner if not just to please my mum. Yes, it’s probably not cool to have “DEMON ROCK X” emblazoned on your cap in church. Everything has been mentioned ad-nauseum here already (I will add to take it off when showering though – as many seem to have missed that one).
But honestly, can we not do better as people? Why judge people based on hats? Why stick so rigidly to things so outdated nobody understands them anymore? We are all capable of showing respect, being courteous, and preventing offense, let’s understand that nobody purposefully wishes to inflict the latter upon anyone else. Teach your kids what you like, and act as you will, but don’t judge others based on what they wear – unless they wear nothing at all to your house. That usually ends badly. We should all be perceptive enough after even a few years on this earth to know if someone is being rude on purpose or not, mostly, it’s ignorance to your rules that is the problem. If that’s the case, is it time to re-assess your rules?
A few years ago I attended a Jewish Friday night service. Before going I asked if I should wear a head covering and was told “No, this a reform congregation and it is not needed”. I was the only uncovered male and I believe no one in the congregation carried. I carried, and would never again attend a Jewish service uncovered. It’s just a show of respect for others.
why is this rude? who cares! How is wearing a hat going to change my faith, how i function or change who i am? explain that to me? it’s only rude because someone down the line dictated to society that it’s rude…it’s foolish. if someone wants to wear a hat, regardless of whether it’s inside or out, at the dinner table or in a restaurat…wear the hat! This “social norm” is ridiculous and pointless. It doesn’t tear you away any further from God, it doesn’t change your attitude or personality that “magically” makes you rude! If i wear a hat indoors…how does it affect anyone around me? simple answer, it doesn’t affect anyone. It only affects people if they let it bother them…and it shouldn’t because it doesn’t change the person who is wearing it. It is one of the most foolish social norms to date and people need to get over their insecurities.
Regrettably, many years ago I started losing my hair and ended up getting a hairpiece. Personally I wish I could go back and shave my head but now I feel I am stuck in the decision. My wife thinks I will shock too many people if I appeared bald one day, and thinks it would be more awkward for me to do that right now.
I am so self conscious of my hair piece, even if it is a higher quality one, that I wear my hat all the time and only do not wear a hat while at work, or at a very formal occasion. I feel if I do not have a hat on everyone is looking at me and judging me. I feel the hat hides my hair and makes me less uncomfortable. I will even avoid certain social situations if I know I can not wear my hat.
I get really annoyed when people make hat comments. I know I wear it all the time and I know the etiquette, I don’t need to be reminded of it by some comments of other people while I am out. I hope the people on here that get really offended at the hat wearing crowd understand and see that some people wear a hat for good reasons. Which is probably a good percentage of the hat wearing crowd.
for example: Chemo, Bad Hair transplant, Alopecia, Burns, phobias.
Reg: Thank you for writing. I have a good friend since childhood that was prematurely bald and wore a hair piece for decades. Then one day he choose to be bald. Sure we all made comments at first (all good because he was so much more handsome bald); and now it’s over 10 years since the change and no one thinks of it… especially all his new friends who never knew otherwise. He truly looks much better and you can tell he feels much better. In in this instance, do not think about what anyone will think or say during the transition period. There is nothing wrong with being bald in today’s society. If you continue to prefer wearing some form of “head covering” (not exactly a hat) there are lots of appropriate items you can wear 24/7. The reason you are continuing to receive comments is because people think you are not t aware of appropriate behavior by your obvious actions. Good luck!
It is 2015. Wearing hats anywhere is perfectly fine. If you’re at a church or funeral or somewhere respect is being given, a fedora is a good substitute.
Why should somebody thinning be persecuted for wanting to avoid embarrassment? They shouldn’t.
The idea of gays needed to be taken off inside is so outdated and old fashioned, it is ridiculous.
Get with the times.
Please advise: I am in my 50’s, as is my sister. Our nephew is getting married in June, on the east coast, a very formal affair. She suggests we wear hats, an idea I embraced until I learned the ceremony is at 7:00 pm. I would be grateful for your guidance. Joyce
Joyce: Grant you it is not historically the custom for men and women to wear hats to evening events. That said without knowing more about the actual event, all events these days—weddings or otherwise—can have their own guidelines for whatever attire, etc. the hosts want.
Hi Syndi, hope you are well.
Someone printed off this article and left it on my desk today, assumedly because I was wearing a hat.
I wear a beanie hat most Fridays because I want to (It’s my head, so I feel it’s my choice), but today I wore a chinese style cap.
Do you think they are just being racist, or do beanie hats not have etiquette rules attached to them?
I wondered briefly if whoever it was had suffered a head injury and/or minor breakdown prior to the event but no-one was talking about it and that kind of thing would probably cause a commotion. After all, our office is fairly open plan so it would be difficult to hide the collapse of one’s own mind.
I’m not sure how I should proceed, and that’s why I’m writing to you. I’m thinking I should basically not change in any way.
Please advise x
Lee: Wearing a beanie hat indoors and in an office environment has become much more flexible in today’s workplace, especially in open environments with high ceilings, with room temperatures often being a bit colder. There are all types of beanies being created for various situations, including people with cancer who wear fashioned beanies to hide their baldness and other types of hats to wear indoors for various reasons. I’ve seen many offices that would and would not allow such attire. This must be an office by office situation, based on the type of business you have, the types of clients you serve, and what the owners want as their overall brand and “image” of the company in terms of a “dress code.” My best suggestion is to take this discussion up with your supervisor or owner of the company to best determine how you are to proceed from now own. Apparently someone in your office thinks wearing hats of any kind indoors are not appropriate. Good luck!
My daughter and her fiance came for dinner. He thinks he looks cool with his hat on and did not take it off when he came in our home. I said “you’re going to be a member of the family, so you better get used to taking your hat off in the house. It’s the way I was brought up and I find it rude when men leave their hats on.” He did so, but I could tell by the look in his eye he didn’t like it. My daughter later told me he complained about having to take his hat off and asked “what other rules” was her highly critical mother going to throw at him. He’s barely been civil to me since.
Louise: Thank you for writing. It will be interesting to see how time will tell how your daughter continues to think about his true character. Good luck!
I read, in some of the comments posted, that people (traditionally men) should remove their hats when dining out. However, there is no mention of where they should put their hats except that they should not be on the table. We will be travelling soon to a warm destination where we are requiring our 40 some children (male and female) to wear hats to certain venues. When they remove their hats, where should they be stored while they eat their meals?
Dee: Thank you for the inquiry. I understand the importance of wearing hats outdoors to shade your face from the sun. I do this myself. Admittedly, when indoors and perhaps at a restaurant, it isn’t always easy to know where to place your hat. Among the choices include: A nearby hat/coat rack; an empty chair at your table; under your chair; or perhaps having it checked or handed to the waiter to keep safely. I don’t recommend placing it dangling over the back of their chair, because it could be easily knocked down and/or stolen. As a group it may be easy to ask for an empty chair on which everyone will place their hats. Good luck!
I am SO glad to find this site. I drive a school bus and for years I have told the kids that they need to wear their hats correctly. It started when someone was acting gang style. The boys, especially, want to wear it backwards. I insist they put it on correctly. I am now having major problems with some students because they think i am picking on them. I get no help from the administration with this issue. I am going to print your etiquette of hat wearing. I have decided on my own that NO hats will be allowed on heads for the remainder of the year (3 weeks). It may continue until i retire lol. Thanks again
Bonnie: Good luck! Let me know how it turns out… in terms of kids and administration revolting.
It should be a preference!!! Hat wearing should not suggest any kind of disrespect for anything. Come on people, get with the times.
Sheila: I do not object to the wearing of hats. I wear hats to shade the sun when outdoors which most doctors today recommend a person doing. I also wear fashion hats indoors to various events. Beyond this the “advanced etiquette” is being aware of when and where else a hat is to be worn or not, as a sign of your level of education, respect and courtesy.
Yep. This is the dumbest article I’ve had the displeasure of reading in years. The comments are worse. This isn’t the days of top hats and derbys. People couldn’t get more sappy if they tried.
I know this post is old, but I happened to stumble across it. I agree with everything said, other than the military wearing hats at all times when in full dress. I’m a veteran (U.S. Army Nov 1997-2012) and there are exceptions to the rule. When in a dress uniform, and wearing a bow tie after 1800 hrs, “head gear” is not required.
J.Logue: Thank you for your post. Your point of wearing a bow tie after 1800 hours is correct which means you are in evening formal attire, not in “uniform.” This is the distinction I was trying to make.
nothing worse than arbitrary rules from more than 200 years ago, that are rooted in a dead civilization’s ideas about what was “proper” and “improper” according to misogynistic and patriarchal and patrimonial gender and societal roles and rules. hats were (and still are) a practical head covering for numerous uses, and arbitrary rules that say when a person should or should not do something without regard to the practicality of use of the article in question. bad hair day is as perfectly legitimate reason for wearing a hat (indoors or out) as sun and rain are. if you are offended by someone not taking their hat off when you THINK they should then the problem is yours not theirs.
Etiquette could be considered arbitrary; after all, what’s appropriate in one country may not be in another. It is established by society. However, they are meant to guide its people toward living in a civil society. There are many cultures where wearing hats in a place of worship requires a person to either wear or not wear a hat while inside. So it’s all about respect and caring more about others and their customs than being self-centered. My deepest opinion is everyone does have the right to be themselves; however in so doing, then others should have the right to say you are or are not acceptable in their home, place of worship, or place of business if you do choose to wear a hat. Our articles are simply meant to help our readers be aware of certain guidelines so you will have the ability to make an informed choice and when the choice is to be yourself, that’s equally fine; however, at least then you’ll know why you are being asked to leave. If everyone “did their own thing” society would be in chaos with very few people being able to get along well.
You couldn’t have stated it any better or more clearly.
Regarding the wearing of a hat. I see young people being very casual about wearing a ball cap indoors these days. Coming from a agriculture background, there are differences between ball cap types and a cowboy hat. Can you provide some insight on this. A cowboy hat I was told has more to do with a dress style and can be worn more than the ball cap.
Jeff: We must first remember for what purpose any hat was designed and its intended use. A ball cap was to shade the sun and likewise a cowboy hat. As in all cowboy depictions we’ve seen, men removed their hat whenever indoors, while eating at a dining table, and whenever in the presence of a woman of any age. Cowboy hats were also part of fashion and various types of hats were work for work and dress up. Sports caps have primarily one purpose and were not intended for indoor wearing.
i am one of those few people that have to keep my head warm at all times. What type of hat would you recommend for me to wear indoors with my Tux?
Where do you or anyone find the energy to care about this? Like a year ago I’d probably agree with you but honestly since practising tolerance to everyone just generally and with these kind of things, you’d be surprised how much of a load off it is. However in terms of religious and patriotic respect etc. I still agree. Just lay off cinemas, restaurants, classrooms etc. it’s a waste of time
The article doesn’t give a reason? Please can you explain why it is disrespectful to wear a cap indoors? What if you feel cold? Research shows that we loss most of the body heat through our heads. Getting offend for what someone else’s is wearing is silly! Have given it a taught as to why they are wearing a cap. Have some compassion and don’t make others suffer in cold with out a good reason. Etiquette should not be an excuse to make others uncomfortable and suffer in cold. How is it hurting you if someone wears a cap indoors? What if they are feeling cold or want to block out extra light hurting sensitive eyes?
Bob: While times have changed in many areas, when it comes to wearing outdoor hats indoors, this comes from a long history. Hats in general are meant for outdoor wearing to shade your head and eyes from the sun and keep you warm in the winter. It then became “etiquette” not to wear them indoors, because indoors is warmer than outdoors, plus the purpose of wearing them in the first place is not needed… being warmer and without sun. If a person is prone to sickness due to being cold from not having their head covered, I suggest purchasing an indoor hat (men or women) can wear more appropriately indoors. I’ve seen more and more of such hats available in stores and online. Actually, I know someone who wears a fedora hat outdoors and when indoors he switches to a cap he carries in his pocket for indoor wearing. Also, I know someone else who is sensitive to light who has tinted-lens glasses he wears indoors which only turns them as dark as needed. He doesn’t normally wear glasses nor wears his hat indoors. So, it’s not about hurting anyone by wearing an outdoor hat indoors. It merely shows the lack of care, laziness, and perhaps lack of education when a person sees such behavior. It’s all about being courteous, respectful, and caring about the environment you are in.
Syndi Seid: I don’t think your taking off an outdoor garment indoors makes a lot of sense. In the winter I wear a jacket when I am outside. If I leave it on while I am inside no one freaks out. I might get asked if I am cold, but no one would be offended or ask me to take it off. If I always left my jacket on at the office I think people would think I am odd, but I doubt they would think I am rude. What about shoes? I wear shoes, boots, in the winter to keep my feet warm and dry. No one gets up set over my leaving my boots on at the office. Now they might get a bit upset if I took them off.
From what I can see the idea of needing to take a hat off has nothing to do with indoor/outdoor garments or any thing logical. It is just a very very old tradition that some insist on keeping and others are saying it is time to come into the 21 century.
As a gentleman, I prefer to follow the traditional practices outlined in this article I think we’re becoming too informal (lax) as a society and disrespectful of others,
It is my suspicion that men had to remove their hats before ladies to expose how bald he is. Did a rich lady come up with this stuff? You know, there is nothing so ugly as the wet sweaty mottled stuff under a hat on a sunny day. Keep it on please, I don’t need to see that.
Our golf club is considering changing our dress code to allow hats (baseball style & visors, included) to be worn in one of our dining lounge. Your article that I’m choosing to quote in opposition to this change was written in 2010. Is your position still the same; specifically, the red type portion which includes “No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, …” ?
Penny: What you are asking is about setting policy for an “entity” that has full right to choose how they want to promote their business. No different than a restaurant having the right to set the wearing of a jacket and tie to dine at their restaurant, your club has the right to set policy on wearing hats. It’s all about how nice or casual you want your guests to be surrounded. My article was focused on how individuals should behave, not entities. Whether your Club allows hats indoors or not, my recommendation to an individual will always remain the same… take off your hat indoors. Last, if you have more than one dining room, then perhaps you can allow hats worn in one and not the other. I know a private business club in Los Angeles has a no jeans policy… no jeans in the main dining room; however, jeans are fine in the cafe/pub. Personally, I think no hats in either location.
I would love an answer to my question of June 3
Tim: Please forgive the oversight in not answering your original question from June 3, stating: “i am one of those few people that have to keep my head warm at all times. What type of hat would you recommend for me to wear indoors with my Tux?” I think the best solution is to consult a milliner who can design and make an appropriate hat to wear with your tuxedo and many other styles of clothing you may have. You are not alone in being a person who must keep their head warm and/or covered. The main issue is “not what you do, but how you do it” that will make what you wear, when appropriate, or not. Good luck!
Thank you for your reply. I did consult a milliner, and they told me that anything less than a Homburg would be in-appropriate with a tux –even indoors. So I guess I am back to square one offending some but staying healthy.
A very close blood relative of mine was/is aware of the high regards I hold as it comes to etiquette and form. As she was going through a very stormy relational issue, she and her kids were staying with us. The oldest child kept wearing a baseball cap in my home, and with few reminders over time I believed the child got the understanding of “Hats off in the house”.
HOWEVER… after a disagreement on other household concerns, my relative displayed a lack of respect for my authority in my home, and elected to wear a baseball cap inside my home anytime day or night for the last three days, not representing a good example for her children.
Resulting from this and other angles of an outright display of disrespect for my wishes in my home including yelling at us and explaining how awful her living arrangements were and mind you she had no where else to go, we’ve asked her to pack up and leave. She will be leaving Saturday and I couldn’t be more relieved.
soo…when did a baseball cap become a hat? I have four sons, who wear them. I’m a little bit “old school” and remember my dad, uncles, grandfathers, etc. wearing “hats”. Baseball caps off the field make a young man look like a reservoir tipped condom…and are not “hats”……just sayen…
Some people may disagree with me … but I noticed baseball caps started becoming a trend around the time “Magnum PI” starring Tom Selleck was on TV. He wore it the usual way – peak at the front. I don’t recall when the front to back became the thing which, by the way, makes a guy look downright ridiculous. Don’t guys these days ever look in a mirror?! lol!
Elaine: I don’t remember Magnum PI ever wearing his baseball cap in someone’s home or other indoor locations.
It really is quite interesting seeing people try to formulate elaborate reasons why one shouldn’t wear a hat in certain situations when it can easily be explained by saying: “I’m annoyed by that. It’s time for us to stop perpetuating this near superstition as a way to better society. I have witnessed quite a few near fights over people not removing hats during the national anthem at sporting events. It is absolutely ridiculous to suppose that just because one is wearing a hat that he/she harbors disdain for this country. These are fights that would not need to happen if we raised our consciousness to the point where we address wearing hats as a matter of personal annoyance and not unsubstantiated signs of disrespect.
From there, we treat it as we do with other matters of personal annoyance, and the burden of proof is on the person making the demand of ceasing behaviors as to why it needs to be stopped. In other words, if you’re going to tell someone how to behave, you should have a good reason for it.
If one shows up to dinner smelling of horse manure and anchovies, sending them away is easy to explain, as their noxious odor could quickly put an involuntary end to your appetite. If someone shows up to the restaurant with a hat, that’s a personal annoyance not at all analogous with stinking the place up. You could ask them to remove it, but it’s a heavy burden of proof to meet, and you open yourself up to a host of potential annoyances the hat wearer may have with your attire.
I believe many of you are sincere and mean well. Please just realize that telling someone to remove their hat in public is to demand they subscribe to a code of etiquette they may not believe in, and is orders of magnitude more rude and invasive than you being annoyed by what I wear to dinner.
I enjoyed your thoughts. Being a person who is frequently asked to remove a hat indoors which I simply must wear to keep warm, I have come up with a solution which works for me. I simply remove my hat and pull a wig out and put it on. So far no one has asked me to remove it or accused me of violating wig etiquette — but I probably am in some eyes
Interesting sports sidebar. I play roller derby, which requires a helmet. Before a bout, we often have a warm up time, during which we wear our helmets, of course! Many girls also wear a bandana to absorb sweat and keep it from dripping into the face. However, when we line up for the national anthem, helmets are ALWAYS removed! I have never really followed any other sports, so I don’t know if this is an established rule, but we are classy ladies!
Also, regarding the debate about women wearing hats inside, a hat was often an integral part of a woman’s hairdress, thus removing the hat would destroy the look and that is why women may wear hats in church, in restaurants and other indoor venues. If the hat is not part of the hairdress, it should be removed in accordance with the rules established for men’s hats.
Kat: Thank you for writing. Women’s “fashion” hats are fine to wear indoors. It was designed that way. What I am discussing are “outdoor” style hats, originally designed for outdoor wearing.
How do you “politely” ask a man to remove his hat when the flag is brought in or the national anthem is to begin? The sports announcers ask people to remove their hats, but when someone doesn’t and they are standing right in front of you, should I ignore it and not cause a potential scene? Or do I tap him on the shoulder and say…what? I have brothers-in-law in the military and one of them is going to be deployed again in Feb. 2016. We even stand at home with our hands over our hearts when the national anthem is sung at whatever we are watching. Thank you for your response!
Kim: Obviously what anyone does in the privacy of their own home is unto their choosing. I also acknowledge our country pride in asking everyone to remove their hats during certain national ceremonies. However, in today’s times, we never know who and why a person chooses not to comply with the announcer request. As hard as it is, “we are not our brother’s keeper” as the saying goes and I would not confront the person in fear of who knows what adverse situation it may cause. The most I did once was say to my husband in a loud voice in earshot of offenders, “Gosh, I sure wish I could understand why these people are choosing to be so disrespectful to our national flag and/or anthem?” However, aside from that one time, I’ve never done that again either. here are simply too many unstable people out and about.
I find this to be an interesting topic. At work, we always ask young men to remove their hats, but the question came up recently about what to do with young women who are wearing baseball caps. I am conflicted because I do not feel comfortable asking a female to remove her head regardless of what type of hat she’s wearing. I think it’s a value judgement to consider the hat a woman is wearing as not feminine enough to keep on because it’s a baseball cap, and it is considered a male’s hat or unisex.
I don’t think these hats are necessarily just to protect people’s heads from external weather conditions. I think many of them wear the hat as part of their outfit or as part of their style. Look at the amount of attention some people pay to color coordinating their hat with their outfit.
The “rules” on etiquette are the same, but our society seems to be much more casual than we were in the past, which means many people don’t follow all of those rules. It feels like a waste of time to be angry about what other people do. In my opinion, we have to figure out what we value, and train our children in that fashion. We have no control over strangers in a restaurant, but can make the people we interact with aware of her feelings. But remember, they may feel differently.
Great blog! How does it work with hats at the races, if races start after dark? Are you still supposed to appear in one?
Thanks!
J: The answer to this depends on the hat itself, the weather, and the specific culture and custom of the race you are attending, regardless of the time of day.
My uncle, whom I’ve only known for 15 years despite the fact that I am in my 50s (and he is in his 60s) (because I was adopted and we only met at that time–and therefore were not raised within the same extended family) always wears his baseball cap or wool cloth cap both indoors and at the dinner table. He wore a baseball cap at Thanksgiving dinner, held at my cousin’s house. I’ve always known the rule to be that men remove their hats indoors, and especially at the dinner table. However, the meals in question have not been in my home. I can only surmise that he does not know the proper etiquette with regard to removal of men’s hats. Should I make him aware, and, if so, how best to approach the issue without offending him? The fact that he wears hats indiscriminately bothers (and sometimes embarrasses) me, but it is not worth ruining our relationship over. Any advice appreciated. Thank you.
Marie: Thank you for the inquiry. You were correct in your summation at the end in not running the risk of ruining your relationship with your Uncle over this matter. How I would handle this if this happened to me is when in the company of family I would let it go. Afterall, I’m sure everyone else sees this same behavior. Perhaps next time when you are standing next to him you see someone else take off their hat, at that exact moment you could quietly say something like: Oh, it’s that nice, see Joe just took off his hat; I’ve heard it is good manners to not wear hats at the dining table, etc. Maybe you might do the same, Uncle??? Otherwise, it would only be when you are with him out in public, at a restaurant, etc., you could quietly and politely “remind” him that when in public the it is good manners to take off your hat while at a dining table, etc. Beyond this, it’s up to you how you wish to handle this matter. If you truly drives you up the wall, as long as you are in a quiet and private place with him alone should you bring this matter up with an understanding it is totally his choice to adhere to your comments or continue doing what he has been doing. Good luck!
I find it interesting that so many people read an etiquette column then criticize it in the comments. If you believe that your opinion is all that matters, why are you here? I came here in search of proper hat etiquette in a cemetery. Off always? Off at the gravesite? Off during the prayer, certainly, but you are outside, but want to show proper respect. Thanks for the advice.
For me, it’s not a matter of thinking my opinion is all that matters. And as for why I came here, it was because I wanted to get to the bottom of this societal rule and find out if there was actually anything to it. It was a good faith search to see if I was wrong to think the hats off rule was silly. Unfortunately, articles like this one almost never even attempt to address the why part of the question, as in, why is it not ok to wear hats in a restaurant. Generally these articles are nothing more than personal declarations of annoyance.
Why is it rude to wear a tall hat in a movie theater? Easy! Your tall hat is probably obstructing the view of the person behind you. This is a true breach of societal etiquette and should be addressed. I have never read so much as a line in an article explaining how this is at all analogous to being irritated because someone is wearing a hat in a restaurant. That is because the restaurant situation is an example of a personal annoyance, which we all have. I’m annoyed by selfie sticks, but I don’t dress up my petty annoyances as etiquette and assert with no legitimate explanation that people should follow certain arbitrary rules.
Etiquette which does not back itself up with any credible argument for why it should be followed opens the door for unnecessary societal strife. Fighting over someone wearing a hat in a place where your personal annoyances deem it inappropriate is to fight over a non problem. So I criticize articles such as this because I feel that to perpetuate this phantom problem is socially irresponsible in a very real way. I mean absolutely no disrespect to the author of this article, and actually have to commend her for her willingness to publish comments which criticize her views. Not all people who have sites like this display that bravery.
I would think a man removes his hat while a woman leaves hers on at a gravesite. I may be wrong but that’s the only procedure I ever saw.
Elaine: This could be accurate, because often a woman’s hat may be a “fashion hat,” versus one that was created and intended to shade the sun.
Honestly it makes no sense why its disrespectful
its just a hat. now wearing it backwards is understandable but regardless it is just a hat there is no reason to get worked up over something that minute
in japan its not proper to wear outside shoes in the house so as not to track mud or dirt all throughout the house. this “etiquette” is pointless and a waste of energy to get angry over
I had a newer friend and an old friend over for an informal dinner last night. The newer one came in with a hoodie on and the hood on also. He kept it on the whole time he was here with the hood on even after I asked him to take it off. It really annoyed me. I should add that hes 23 and I’m 60. Am i justified in feeling the way I do?
Scott: Regardless of age… your house, your rules is my opinion.
Seeing guys wear baseball hats in FORMAL dining rooms makes me want to puke! What the hell is wrong with them? Especially the ones that have their heads on backwards! OH, it’s the stupid baseball cap, it just looks like they’ve got their head on backwards. WTF????
I’m a 22 year retired military man who is very tired of seeing men of all ages wearing hats in building . It’s especially disturbing to see a supposably ex military man wearing a hat depicting the branch of service he was in , out eating with the family with it on. If you wern’t brought up properly and told to remove your hat at the dinner table, rest assure the military did . No one except the cooks wore a hat .I recall on base if you walked into a NCO club wearing a hat , you bought everyone in the club a beer . To those supposably proud ex service members who wares a hat at the dinner table , get your heads out of your asses.
You’re an idiot.
Such an outdated concept.
Who cares… why does it matter?
I say do you want to do regarding wearing a hat. If I want to wear a hat, I’ll wear a hat. No one tells me otherwise. I’ll wear that shit.
I am a veteran of 23 years active duty and I wear my hat all the time! I do because i had surgery and have this ugly scar on the back of my head that gave me a complex.
Not that i want to but there are many reasons why people wear hats indoors. For those who don’t have a medical reason i would not understand why you would not take your hat off most of the time anyways!
I take my cap off when I eat and other reasons out of respect. Also i wear my cap backwards and I have two college degree, so for the idiot or people who think it drops your IQ then God help us all lol! Get real!
As long as people are respectful and not low class, they should be able to wear how they want. Yes its their fashion. I laugh when i read about how people think you should wear your clothes because its the way they were brought up or the way they think.
Maybe most of you should take a sociology class to learn about diversity and how people are different! Its a good thing not bad. People just need to wake up and smell the coffee! Enjoy life and don’t worry so much about other people and stereo typing. People need to worry more about themselves and stop getting offended by other peoples actions. If it offends you then maybe its better to just step off.
So remember when you see a person wearing a baseball cap backwards or indoors, there may be a good reason. So be smart and don’t judge a book by its cover : )
Most people should have common sense about caps, problem is with the younger generation, many where not raises in a normal functional family that would teach them any better. Think about that. The typical divorces family’s in society.
i agree that taking off hats during prayers or pledges but you are stupid for saying people have no IQ if they wear their hat backwards indoors. i find this website disturbing. now that i read this i’m definitly not taking off my hat in resturants or at table, just stupid! plus anyone in their right mind will not find this website good.
i can do whatever i want so yahhh
back off
When hat racks become commonplace again, then hat etiquette can be exercised fully, again! Until then, remember that placing a hat on a seat is considered bad luck. (This may be because forgetful people tend to sit on their $300 hats!) !!!!NEVER PLACE A HAT ON A SEAT!!! In the absence of a hat rack, the only acceptable place to set a hat is on the table, only if there is ROOM to do it! Otherwise, since the establishment isn’t polite enough to provide a proper place to hang your hat, then ALL hat etiquette is thrown out the door, and you MUST wear your hat to protect it from damage!
An interesting subject! I’m now a senior and have been told I’m quite “with-it” and am far from an old fuddy duddy stuck in the past. In the 50’s when I was a teen (and also in the 60’s), women were expected to wear a hat to church and never to wear a strapless dress (or a sundress type of exposure) to church. When my daughter married (in the 90’s) I remember a guest wore a black strapless dress which once was taboo. Men wore fedoras in the 50’s and 60’s and always removed them in elevators, restaurants and when a funeral procession passed by which I thought said as much about the man as the tradition. Womens’ hats were considered part of her outfit and could stay on during a luncheon or at a wedding. If the hat was very large, common decency told her to remove it at performances, such as the theatre, etc. i really don’t know why it’s so hard to follow a few rules! It separates us from the apes and makes the “rule follower” look good and more intelligent! I get that baseball caps and beanies are part of a fashion “thing” nowadays … but still think a person (male or female) looks like a moron when it’s not removed in someone’s house or restaurant.
Speaking of manners, I’d love to see a discussion on table manners …. and would LOVE to see spelling taught in schools again. If I were hiring and saw two resumes in front of me with both equal qualifications, however, one had misspelled words throughout, guess which candidate would be hired?
I wear a hat at the table, I wear a hat indoors.
I do not fart at the table, I do not fart indoors……. well, sometimes – but not in the presence of company.
I don’t belch at the table, I do not belch indoors…. well, sometimes – but not in the presence of company.
I don’t pick my nose at the table………… anyways, this is getting old.
you get the idea!
Once a person felt the need to comment about “the fact” I was wearing a hat, even worse a baseball cap (I do not wear them backwards though, not my style) indoors at a restaurant.
I asked the person if they knew me? They said they did not. So I said “so I guess you are not paying for my meal, if you are not – mind your own business”.
What I think would be more rude than wearing a hat indoors at a restaurant would be a very long list!
Oh, and think about wearing a “cap” at a bar in south beach – – has nothing to do with etiquette – – but does have a lot to do about gangs.
So feel all good about “how yo’ momma done’ raised ya”.
So go tell that “person of very low I.Q.” to take that “cap” off. Oh, and why! Hey, and add how you feel about the “cap” thing.
“hmmm in wrong place wrong time – you might find yourself” say’s Yoda.
But hey – you got this!
I say there is one sole exception to wearing a hat indoors and that’s if it’s part of a costume you’re wearing. Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t really work if you don’t have the hat, does it?
Nicholas: Sherlock Holmes only wore his deerstalker hat outdoors, never indoors.
Hey this is skylar
I would like to know if it is ok to wear a hat in the band room my teacher said that its a national band room rule but I’ve never heard of it could u tell me if it is true? Then also there’s this person and she won’t leave me alone and think I look stupid when I wear my hat is there anything I can do about it or not?
Skylar: I am not familiar with the national bank room rules. That said, there are many “rules”/guidelines that are established by individual organizations. What may be acceptable one place may not be someplace else. Example: There are still restaurants that require men to wear a jacket and possibly a tie when in their dining room. Others don’t. We all must comply with the rules of the establishment… especially when in someone’s home.
I recently flew back east because my Mother was in the hospital in critical condition.I was stunned to see my oldest brother wearing this awful huge black cowboy hat ,sitting beside our Mother.Big on proprieties,as he knew,it was totally disrespectful and rude to her and everyone present.He ignored requests to remove it…in cafes,restaurants,my mother’s assisted living residence…AT BREAKFAST TABLE IN THE DINING ROOM!!!!!!.at another brother,s home where we had a sibling conference while LUNCH WAS BEING SERVED BUFFET STYLE BY MY SISTER_IN_LAW!!!in the priest,s office and funeral director,s office!!!!!ignored all requests to remove it.Someone actually got a hold of it and hid it the day of the funeral but it magically appeared on his head at graveside..Dear Lord have mercy.did not bring proper attire and balked at wearing shirt andjacket he was ORDERED to wear.His wife was so uncomfortable poor thing. Myself and 6 other siblings and 65,yes 65 other family members,,spouses nieces nephews their spouses and children were all dressed up,shirt and tie suits ,very comfortable .My Mother taught us well but HIM !!!!!! I am home now and will write to him expressing how I felt and how his behavior is so unpleasant.I will no longer submit myself to his rudeness and cruel,mean comments.I am proud I was able to hold my tongue as it was not the appropriate time….AND he is a one upper,always has to be right and you wrong,never apologizes kind of guy!!! I never want to see him but I adore his new wife of 9 years that I just met this year.I’m in BC and they are in Ontario.
The only idiot with a reduced I.Q. by 50 % is the idiot that holds to these old fashioned protocols that wrote this article. I’m offended when I see women wearing pant suits as much as I would seeing a man wearing a dress but these days that’s been pushed aside so don’t tell men where they can wear their hats. signed…outlaw
I thought I had seen it all…
Then, I attended a Christian funeral where a young man (in his 20’s or 30’s) arose to read the New Testament scripture. There he stood (at the pulpit) with a fedora hat on his head!
It’s an archaic rule. I had brain surgery and have a shaved head with a large wound/scar and I wear my hat indoors. My friends and family agree that it is better to hide my wound under a hat than to wear bandages that I don’t need and are uncomfortable. It is also, in my opinion, more courteous to protect others from having to view something that will gross out most people. And it’s a matter of my privacy and preference not to have to make my condition public and discuss with everyone. When I wear a hat, people react normally to me. Without a hat, most people are awkward and tend to avoid me. I agree with Johnny D. Other than offending the etiquette police, my wearing a hat indoors does not affect anyone else in any negative way.
Thanks for so much information I’m enjoying reading your blog. I have a question regarding wearing a hat inside a shrine of remembrance ( Australian Shrine of Remeberance) for WWI, I wear men’s hats generally and sometimes a small pageboy cap and wondered if the rules similar to attending Church apply here. The shrine is also Museum and educational centre with indoor and outdoor spaces for reflection. I would need to remove it once Anthems and prayers begin but what about if I’m looking at the exhibitions only and in the gardens at a wreath ceremony?
Cheers mate
Bess: I am not as familiar with Australian Shrine customs. Yet, to keep things simple: a) Always make every effort to learn about specific customs, before attending any service or special building, and follow its guidelines. b) Removing your head covering of any kind (unless restricted by other religious/or other guidelines), it is generally a good habit to always take off your hat.
What a great conversation. I wish there was always such a lively exchange when the hats off rule comes up — most people usually just comply with a request to remove their hat because they don’t want to cause trouble or draw attention. And in almost every case, complying is to your benefit (just like supporting or ignoring sexual harassment or fraud at work is to your overwhelming benefit in most cases). But more people are wondering why they should comply and are rightfully questioning the specious idea of the kind of “gentlemanly” conduct best embodied by the likes of Bill O’Rielly (keep that in mind, ye womenfolk who long for olden times). Just like women have stood up for themselves and their right to dress how they like despite attempts to put them in their place and shame them. Hopefully “gentlemanly” will go the way of “ladylike,” a term you now shame women with at your own severe peril. Etiquette and custom have to be continually revised, throwing out the bad, preserving the meaningful, and adding new where necessary. We need to beware of confusing the ritualistic with the ethical and the good. If anything the pro-hat-rule crowd here is making arguments that resemble O’Reilly or Glenn Beck’s anti-gay marriage screeds from 7 years ago. The world hasn’t fallen apart since gay marriage has been legalized, and wearing hats isn’t going to cause the decline and fall of the modern world.
Three things are clear from this forum. Most importantly, unless you have a religious reason to wear a hat, you often have no express right to wear a hat and should realize that you should be prepared and willing to fight if you want to wear a hat in certain places. It could cost you relationships, your job, etc and the anti-hat people are OK inflicting that damage on you and blaming you for not accepting their rule. A workplace could be filled with fraud and crime, yet a hat Nazi might decide to single out the law-abiding, kindly hat-wearer before all else. The hats off rule is embedded in American culture and at least some European cultures. If you go to court, you are almost certainly going to have to go hatless (though Hulk Hogan got around this with a dew rag), just like you’ll probably have to swear on the Bible even if you are an atheist. Same for most pre-k-12 schools (without the Biblical sidedish in most cases, even if Corinthians is the most solid authority for no hats). Restaurants also apparently have a right to have a dress code that prohibit hats — and then why not tattoos, non-traditional piercings, certain kinds of shoes, women with pants or traditionally male clothes, etc?
Second: hat rules are arbitrary and no one knows for sure where our hats-off custom came from, though it may well be from a reading of Corinthians, which makes the hats-off rules a Christian rule that should be illegal to apply in courts and schools. However, the Pope and bishops wear elaborate headgear. Same in Orthodox Christianity. Sikhs, Muslims, Orthodox Jews, and many others wear hats 24/7. Photos of American school children from a few generations ago show that young pupils were forced to wear cloth caps (and to learn how to box and that women’s place is in the kitchen). To be offended by someone wearing a hat is to be a cultural imperialist in a society that is now supposedly devoted to diversity. To harken back to the golden days of the 1950s and such with men holding car doors open for women and doffing their caps is to be ridiculously anachronistic and borderline misogynistic. Worse it’s foolish. These were not glory days for women and all the false tokens of respect only underline how little women were really respected.
Third: the rationales given by the anti-hat crowd are desperate attempts to justify a failing argument that they love solely because of tradition, a misguided deference to an illusory bygone time, or because its been beaten in to them. If it’s a good argument to say that men’s hats were not originally invented to be worn indoors and thus should never be worn indoors (an unsupported and unprovable argument) or that a baseball cap is designed for baseball or sports and not to be worn inside, then the same applies to any number of articles of clothing, including running shoes, watches (if you’re inside you can use the indoor clock), t-shirts, any coat (including suit coat), etc. And yet the anti-hat crowd chooses to get most upset about hats when other articles of clothing violate their supposed rules just as much. Perhaps I could invent the equally specious argument that make-up was invented for men in theatre performances and so women should not wear it since it was not originally devised for them to wear? Or that a hermit crab should not be allowed to live in a shell since that shell was created by another creature for itself? Or maybe more pertinent — maybe men shouldn’t be allowed to use propecia to prevent hairloss since the originally use of the drug was for prostates.
I didn’t see one compelling argument here for a hats-off rule except that someone has a right to be a bigot in their home, whether that’s racial bigotry or hat-bigotry. Of course, one should always remove dirty shoes when entering a home, and if your hat is dripping mud or sweat the same there.
I can near guarantee that some of the respect-the-dress-code-of-the-people-around-you anti-hat people here would not comply with the dress customs of the tribes of Papua New Guinea, or a nudists colony if they suddenly found themselves in their midst. What would they say if a nude chieftain became offended that they were covering their breasts? Would they think it disrespectful, selfish and self-centered if they refused to disrobe? Or would they suddenly find the arguments of hat wearers more compelling?
Hi Syndi,
So glad that you wrote this article. Just recently I was with my mother at the dentist office, while she was getting fitted for some dentures. (She is 93) While I was waiting, a man about in his 60’s and a younger boy about in his teens, walked in and sat down. I think the younger boy had an appointment, and the older man had brought him. Anyway, the older man was wearing this large brown cowboy hat, and the younger boy wasn’t wearing any hat at all, Thank God! The entire time they sat there in the waiting room, the older man NEVER took off his stupid cowboy hat. I thought that was disgusting. It was as if that hat was Glued to his head. In my opinion, I think he should have removed his hat and either put it in his lap, or hung it on the coat rack in the office. But NO! He just kept that stupid hat on. On the flip side, a few years ago, my mother and I were in a church watching a relative performing in a concert. There was this younger boy about in his teens, sitting in one of the pews wearing a baseball cap. He was with some relatives, maybe his parents, etc. But the entire time he was there, he NEVER removed his cap. I thought that was rude too! There Must be some law or regulation that prohibits the male species from wearing any type of hat inside public places. I can understand men of the Jewish religion wearing their caps. But that’s an exception. As for men of other religions, I think they should be prohibited from wearing their hats indoors at any public OR private place. I think I’ll post your article on one of my blogs and Facebook page to alert all the men about when and where to wear their hats. Thanks again for posting this! 🙂
What about Kid Rock and Ted Nugent wearing hats in the Oval Office ?
http://www.gq.com/story/sarah-palin-kid-rock-white-house
My older brother in-law who is in his fifties is still wearing a baseball cap. He wears it when entering the family house, funeral house, restaurant, when seeing the doctor. Once he was told off politely to remove his cap during a church funeral service. I guess he felt embarrassed. In my opinion, people who wear a cap 24 hours are in secure of their personality and have something to hide. Mind you he’s not even bald. How should I tell him politely?
Francesca: As we know, baseball caps were invented for outdoor wearing to shade the sun. Of what purpose is it to wear it indoors? We cannot “make” anyone do anything. We can only ask politely. Good luck!
Hats, in most cases, is protection from wind, rain, snow, sleet and what have you. Indoors this is not needed.
Sadly, the staffed wardrobe where you could check in your outerwear is not everywhere where it is appropriate to take of your hat. Maybe a hat pocket should be introduced to jackets, shirts and pants? Suited for the ballcap.
People are oblivious to the fact that they are wearing caps, it seems.
And, “gender” is not only a grammatical term. Gender: The “male-or-female sex” sense is attested in English from early 15c. As sex (n.) took on erotic qualities in 20c., gender came to be the usual English word for “sex of a human being,” in which use it was at first regarded as colloquial or humorous. Later often in feminist writing with reference to social attributes as much as biological qualities; this sense first attested 1963.”
I am from non-English culture. But I’ll be highly thankful to a person if somebody can help me to tell everything about ‘English Hats and Hat Etiquette’. I’m interested in contemporary English Hats (especially Hats worn/used in London) Can somebody suggest me a Visual (like DK Publication) and/or an Illustrated Book, Encyclopedia or something like this. Gentleman/ Gentlemen Do
Excuse me If I’ve written some wrong (though unintentionally).
Warm Regards,
Kanwaljit Singh (India)
Such great information. This is really very helpful for bloggers
Impressive! Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for taking a moment to write.
This is a great post and I was raised to do this. Now that I’m bald at age of 40 I always feel cold even indoors (except summer), wearing a hat all day everyday is the only thing that helps my body warm and makes me comfortable. This is more notable when I’m in the office and aircon is always on and regulated. What ways can I solve this? Does a beanie have a different approach? Thank you.
Bob: Thanks for the comment and question. Yes, there are a number of fashionable men’s head coverings (not necessarily hats) that are appropriate to wear indoors. Beanies are a good option over baseball caps. I prefer cloth beanies over the knitted types. Some are called luxury beanies.
Many cultures around the world also wear head coverings, plus others who for medical reasons must also wear hats all the time.
Any chance of redirecting or covering the air vents directly over your desk area? Have fun searching online for appropriate head coverings you will enjoy wearing. This shows you care about being as appropriate as possible in the workplace and seeking out respectful alternatives from which to choose. Happy Practicing!
I can tell by your rhetorical opinions that you are more than likely a christian gentile with a western European ideology. What you think about how others should do with what they own and put on their bodies means NOTHING. I wear hats as an accessory to my outfits whether I'm dressed formal,casual, or in sportswear because I collect NHL,NFL,NBA,and MLB jerseys and matching hats. I dare anyone to tell me to take off my hat because I'm not doing it. What others wear you shouldn't even give a XXXX because it doesn't affect you. I can tell you're probably another stupid white man that thinks the world should bend to your ideologies and beliefs just because that's what the western European and Roman world thinks which means nothing to me. I wear hats as a part of my culture and it's my right to cover up any part of me that I don't want the world to see. Your etiquette opine rhetoric means nothing. People are going to do what they do and there's nothing you can do about you might think you can say or write something but it's still not going to change anyone else's actions and behavior. There are much bigger existential systematic problems in this world that DO AFFECT millions and billions people that should be brought to the fore that makes wearing a hat inside a building look quite mundane and minuscule.
Onaga: We all write to share thoughts and opinions. I wrote the article to share my thoughts. You wrote to share your opinion which I am posting, as well.
Happy Practicing!
This is the dumbest artical I've ever read. U know other people have evolved past this Emily Post stuff. Who by the way has been dead for 60 years. If this is all u have to worry abput, this day an age, I'm sure they have medication for your disorder. But in the real world people that have to take their hats off, just because they are inside, are definently not going to respect anybody that tells them to do this. An by the way, respect is earned, an has nothing to do with wearing a hat. In fact the person who ask somebody to remove their hat is rude an deserves No Respect.
Mr. Evolve: In my mind, there is purpose and reasons why anyone asks others to remove their hat. Maybe it’s in a restaurant, a funeral, wedding, or church, where customarily outdoor hats are not worn. Indoor hats are acceptable for men and women.
The well-educated person (which is the purpose of the article) distinguishes themselves by being aware of when it is appropriate and not to wear a hat indoors. Happy Practicing!
damn what is this 1950? i'm a woman and i regularly wear a baseball cap indoors. it doesn't matter, no one cares these days.
Seashell: Thank you for the message. While it is true many people no longer care about this topic. I assure you there are those who still do care. What sets a person apart from the pack is being “in the know” to take the right actions when it counts. Thanks for writing.
Syndi,
If a woman wears a hat or fascinator with a veil that covers her face to a cocktail party or dinner, what is the appropriate thing to do with it when eating? My thought is to move up the veil so it covers the eyes and nose but not the mouth – is this correct?
I hope you are well and Happy New Year.
RE
RE: In current times women wearing hats and fascinators are generally worn during the day, not at night for a dinner or evening cocktail party. If during the day, absolutely the person should move the veil. Better yet, if you know you are going to an event where food is served, don’t wear that kind of head covering, or the netting should only cover the eyes, not mouth.
I grew up in Southern IL and hats at the table were taboo. Lived in TX, LA and MS twenty-eight years of my career and it is fairly common practice, particularly in Red Neck MAGA hunting country and around big bass fishing lakes. I generally still take my hat off in a restaurant because I was taught that way. However, I am bald-headed and when air conditioning is blowing dead on my head. it becomes very cold and uncomfortable, plus it dries my eyes out. Hence, I put my hat on to block the air flow. Sometimes I go back out to the car and get my hat for that reason. Sorry but this old man's head gets cold.
Hello John: Current times allow us to wear appropriate head coverings regardless of gender and situation. The bottom line of this article, first released in 2017, was targeting the wearing of inappropriate hats indoors. The point is when you are bald—or whatever the reason—and you want to wear a hat indoors, choose an appropriate hat, not a baseball cap, or fedora. Thank you for taking the time to write.
The world has changed yes but not all for the good.I looked this up because my friend is going to court I knew the answer you best take that hat off in court room.firsy opinions mean allot.people now days are so disrespectful just like you folks who wrote nasty comments on here.The questions were ask she answered and ya didn't like the answer.wrll go cry in your hats yal know who you are
I'm confused. Is this woke culture? I've honestly never heard that wearing hats indoors was bad etiquette. That must have been back in the 60s or 70s. Now in 2023, wherevee it's okay to wear shorts (in many restaurants, stores, tourist attractions, on planes, trains, boats, taxis, Ubers, theaters, and everywhere else where shorts and t-shirts are allowed, hats are 100% appropriate.
Hello Tanner: Yes, times have changed and many ways have gone by the side of the road. Yet, the well-mannered person, who is well-educated in the art of the ‘old ways’ as you put it, will win out in the end in being considerate to the environment they are in. Sure, wearing a hat indoors in a mall, or at the airport is certainly fine. Wearing a hat in someone else’s home, in a restaurant, movie theaters, remain less appropriate. We live in a world it’s not what you do, but how you do it that counts. Thanks for taking a moment to write.
How annoying to see women in labor with men wearing hats!
Thanks for the insight. We recently had a new finance advisor on zoom assigned to us. First impression of this guy with a baseball cap on backwards—aweful. And his disrespect did not stop there. A well bred gentleman would not be so flippant especially with first impressions.
Hello Patrice: Thanks for taking the time to post your comment. As you no doubt saw, there are plenty of varying views on this topic. I appreciate this updated witness to how first-impressions in a professional setting (virtual and in-person) counts. Baseball caps are not part of professional attire, unless you work for the team.
Yeah. At damn near every Texas A&M football game or other TAMU sporting event I’ve been to in the past two decades, @$$holes can’t be bothered to remove their hats for the National Anthem and will get visibly and verbally hostile if you remind them to TAKE THEIR FU-**ING HAT OFF.
Sgt B: It’s all about respect and a courtesy shown for our National Anthem and Flag, which many Americans/citizens have never understood. Thanks for writing.
There's nothing that says 'simpleton' more eloquently than a baseball cap worn backward.
just would like to add another military practice which allows veterans during the national anthem to keep their hat on and salute and if they choose to remove their hat hold it over their left breast both are accepted and encouraged
I'm part of a local theater group doing a production of "Patience" by Gilbert and Sullivan. I play the part of a Dragoon Guard / solider (men's chorus) wearing a plastic helmet with a pickelhaube and a tassel. At the end of the show, should we remove our helmets when we bow to the audience? (That tassel wants to go all over the place!) If so, under which arm should the helmet be placed when bowing? Thanks, S.M.
Hello Steve… Absolutely, you should remove your hat when taking bows at the end. This way the audience can see the true actor who is playing the part in the play. This is also most typical when actors wear masks (Lion King, Phantom, etc.), and other head coverings that hide their true identity. End applause is all about applauding the true actors who portray their characters. “Break a leg!”
In the UK Military they have to take their beret off indoors. I was in the RAF so personally it doesn't matter where I am indoors, I'll always take it off
Hats are for the outside, I mean all hats not just baseball caps.
There is NO EXCUSE for a man to wear a hat indoors.
Wearing cap is a personal preference and modern fashion. Many of wearing cap enthusiast wherever the place they will go is making them comfortable and giving them confidence in a certain situation. Nowadays, many people are respectful with others personal preference and everybody should learn about this matter.