Do you have one or more words or phrases you can’t stand? I do. Among them is the word “further” instead of “farther” when talking about distance. Another is common on signs in stores, saying “10 items or less” when it should read, “10 items or fewer.”
But my Number One worst pet peeve is how people constantly use “No problem” as the response to almost everything. It’s become a so trite, clichéd, unoriginal, and commonplace.
I knew I reached a boiling point when I saw this quote by the British author P.G. Woodhouse: “A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.” Not only do my temples throb, but my brain screeches every time I hear those two words. And sadly, I hear them all too often. Cashiers say “No problem” after I thank them for the change I receive for my purchase. Waiters say “No problem” when giving me change from the bill I just paid. Front desk attendants say “No problem” after I thank them for giving me my room key.
What was the problem in the first place? What happened to the simple yet powerful phrases of “You’re welcome” and perhaps “My pleasure?”
It’s not just people in the service field who say it. I recently heard it out the mouth of a 6-year-old boy, and worst of all I’ve caught myself saying it. (By the way, if you ever hear me saying “No problem” please feel free to call my attention to it, if I didn’t already do it first.)
In many other languages, the customary reply to “Thank you” is not always a literal translation of “You’re welcome.” In French, for instance, the reply is “De rien,” which means, “It was nothing.” In Spanish, a common response is “De nada,” which means, “It was nothing” as well. In the U.S., Americans even use the slang “No problemo,” a bastardization of the more correct Spanish phrase, “No hay problema,” or “Ningún problema.” Is that where we get it? The more we hear and see the term used – even in movies — the more correct we think it is.
No matter how you slice it, in American English, to use the phrase “No problem” as the correct response to “thank you” and most other situations is not accurate. In fact, it’s inappropriate, in most instances inaccurate and in some instances rude. The correct response… one more time is “You’re welcome,” or “It’s my pleasure.”
Help Me Stamp out “No Problem”
I’m declaring a personal crusade to stamp out the use of “No problem” in our society. Henceforth, this subject will be a standard item in all my seminars and presentations, as are a few other topics, such as writing thank you notes. If you agree, please join me in a crusade to stamp it out. Here’s all you need to do:
1. Post a comment in the area below to show support of my efforts. I’d love to know I’m not alone.
2. Share your own stories about situations you’ve encountered where you heard the words “No problem” in lieu of what you think would have been a better choice of words.
3. Submit your own commitment to making every effort to eliminate these words from your writing and speech.
4. For parents and teachers: Educate and encourage your children and students on the merits of not using these words.
5. As an employer, share this article as something for your staff members to not use in front of your clients and customers.
If we all reduce the use of these words in lieu of other more appropriate words, over time it will become less and less common and appropriate to say. This is exactly how etiquette comes into effect.
Together we may be able to make a positive change in our society.
Happy Practicing!
Dear Syndi,
I wholeheartly agree with your indictment of the phrase “No problem”. I cannot abide the usage and have also, to my horror found myself using the term.
I have been trying to eradicate it from my volcabulary and pass on the message to my colleagues who use it much too frequently!
Good luck with the campaign and you have my support!
The issue of no problem versus you’re welcome is merely generational. Baby Boomers and the older half of Generation X typically say you’re welcome- which is perceived by the younger generations as the person doing the good deed deserves thanks and that the deed was not expected of the person. The younger half of Generation X and Millenials typically use no problem because they were raised to believe that helping people is the right thing to do and is expected of them. It’s not a problem for them to help you because they SHOULD be helping you- no thanks needed. However, it is typically understood that Baby Boomers and the older half of Generation X were raised to believe that being helped by someone is a privilege and is not deserved. No problem versus you’re welcome is not an issue of impoliteness, but rather how children were and are now being raised.
EXACTLY. I'm 23 and I use all the above because I am aware of the generational difference, but saying 'You're welcome' absolutely feels like I was expecting praise or gratitude. Like. No. It was my job and it was of NO inconvenience to provide you with assistance.
But. Either way. I just nod my head and smile when it was a quick hand.
Carly: I appreciate your perspective on this topic. I’ve always thought when saying “you are welcome” you are essentially saying, it is of no inconvenience to provide assistance, and you are welcome to ask me again another time. All the best!
Syndi, so are you saying that instead of saying 'No problem.' it be okay to say 'It was no inconvenience.'? I'm trying to understand this but it makes no sense to me.
Caroline: I mean to convey there are many other words and phrases to use that are more appropriate than ‘no problem.’
I'm 27 and I feel the same as the person you replied to. "You're welcome" has always felt like self praising myself for helping another person, when helping someone else is something I do out of kindness rather than to inflate my own self ego
Perhaps this is true in the US or where ever it is that you live but it doesn't apply at all in Australia.
Here in Australia we say 'No worries" which sounds the equivalent of "No problem".
ALL generations have been known to say "No worries" and it means, don't worry about the need to the thank me as it was no problem for me to help.
It is the opposite of uncaring and selfish, being self-deprecating and humble.
I don't need to be thanked as I would do the same for anyone.
No Worries !!
You said the same thing in different ways. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Next.
Audrey, and All: Please be reminded, the purpose of the Comment section is to submit thoughts and comments about the subject, only. It is not to be used to critisize anyone’s ability to write, or whether the writer is fully knowledgable of the topic, etc. Please stick to only submitting comments about the subject. Thank you!
I’m in complete agreement, Syndi.
I worked with a woman who was as lazy as they come. She dropped the ball on nearly every project put on her plate. Her typical response to my request for her to DO HER JOB was, “No problem.” I’m happy to report it was “no problem” to see her get dismissed.
I’m guilty! I fell into the habit because I heard the term so much. Which is no excuse! “My pleasure, I’m happy to assist,” would have been more appropriate terms.
So I thank you bringing it back to my consciousness.
I’m going to post this article on FB and other social sites.
Dear Walethia: You are not alone is using the term, as I have been caught, as well. Yet, I’m pleased to see others are following this crusade to stamp these words out of our mental dictionary.
Chances are these two words into one phrase, takes less efforts to physically speak? For instance, here in China, those whose spoken English is not so perfect, they find it so easy to learn this phrase and speak it all the time.
This Chinese student was on a train and a foreigner came up, asking if he could make some room for him, “No problem”; then he was asked “Where are you going?” “No problem.” “Are you a college student?” “No problem.” with a big smile. Right, so the key problem is that’s the single phrase he could speak!
See? People are just lazy and don’t care.
Have a nice day…
I perceive the use of “no problem” as rude. It also implies that if the act had been an inconvience, they probably would not have done it.
As you wrote, other languages directly translate to “It was nothing.”
That is why people say no problem! It is actually a shortened way of saying “Not a problem,” which would match the other languages and also be grammatically correct.
I feel sorry to give reason to the people who say it, though, because I have to agree with you, it’s quite annoying to hear.
In English you can also say 'it's nothing', e.g. 'don't worry, it's nothing', possibly a little less used but certainly used. Seems here on the comments that the pompous sounding author and commenters don't like 'no problem'.Not really surprising as 'no problem' as someone has said above is a more humble response, 'your welcome' has an air of the person putting themself out on your behalf.
Aldo: Thank you for commenting. You’re welcome is the proper intent, not “your welcome.”
Thank you Syndi for bringing this up.My language is Arabic, and we have this “no problem” thing running like fire in our everyday spoken language.
I am a training officer and just a few days ago I passed this note to one of our trainers:”Please let’s conduct an activity that focuses on unwanted cliche’s.”No problem” was one.”No Problem” is not an answer, it’s not a standing,it’s not a point of view.It’s a colorless meaningless word that does not really tell the other person what you think or how you feel.So it distorts communication.
Thank you so much for bringing this up.
Ahhhhhh! I thought I was the only person who got riled up when I heard someone say, “No problem”. I’m glad to know there are others.
I loved the article, and from now on when someone says those dreaded words to me, I’ll say, “Oh, was there a problem to begin with?”
Dear Barney: Thank you for your kind post. Perhaps to be grammatically correct, your reply should be: “Oh, was there a problem in the first place? My husband keeps reminding me proper grammar does not allow sentences to end with a preposition.
What “proper grammar” source is your husband using? A misinformed English teacher from 2nd grade maybe? Or if not, I truly want to know.
Kirk: To clarify, it’s not an issue of proper grammar that’s at issue. It’s a matter of appropriateness when using the phrase ‘no problem.’
why would you get wound up over a phrase? especially when you know that there's no ill intent behind it. if I help someone and and they thank me to which I may respond no problem and they said "oh, was there a problem to begin with." I'd regret even bothering to help. thats definitely more rude and ill mannered than saying "no problem" and frankly its also an entitled and self centred, childlike response. "you don't talk exactly how I do * stomps feet and throws a tantrum*" behaviour. honestly I think everyone who has a problem with the phrase "no problem" just wants to feel like they are superior and like they have better etiquette.
Hello Robyn: Thank you for the post.
More times than not when someone uses the phrase no problem, I don’t respond rather than get into a no-win situation.
It’s not a matter of never using the phrase; it’s all about showing your level of education and maturity to know when to use or not use words and phrases properly. When a child says “pasghetti,” instead of spaghetti, we don’t always correct them. However, if an adult says psghetti—and whether we correct the person, or not—my perception of that person’s level of education is lowered. Similarly with the phrase ‘me and my friend, versus my friend and I. It’s all about being well-educated, which is the purpose of our articles. It is about becoming aware of everything in life having its own place and time. However, the point is, no problem is more often misused.
I hope this helps everyone understand the true purpose of the article. Thank you!
Thank you. I cringe when I hear, for example, "her and I" instead of "she and I."
Dear Syndi—Please accept my thanks for addressing the ubiquitous MISUSE of “no problem.” What a poor substitute for “my pleasure,” no?
I am not amused and what thoughtful person is? Good work! Yours as ever
—jnp
You make alot scense & interesting to say the least its probably the right is etiquette & sometmimes you say things with out realizing how others feel cause person might or would have had I would say lower education & upbring yourself i appericiate alot of things one was my neighbor who kindly asked to drive me home & i declined not for any specific reasons but i was honored she saw someone needed help & I declined & at the same time i felt so bothered by saying no & thank that made me feel worse..
I only know of one company that can say no problem…and that is my bike company. Whenever I have a question or a problem they wisk away the bike while saying no problem…and, they get it back to me quickly….and that truly is no problem.
Yes that is true
As a marketer I concentrate on words and when “no problem” is used in response to service rendered … it just doesn’t make sense! It shouldn’t be a problem if you’re being paid to do something. It’s your job! Always makes me wonder …
Yeah i agree with if you being paid to render services that is proper?
Yeah i agree with if you being paid to render services that is proper? & i agree
Dear Syndi,
I completely agree with Syndi. I feel “no problem” is insensitive and not personal. I feel proper etiquette is personal yet sensitive to the person demonstrating and the person watching or listening. The sign of the times requres more people to know the prorper way of doing everything. Some people have forgotten their basic manners…me as well. But not anymore!
My standard response whenever someone in customer service tells me “no problem” is: “Well of course it’s not a problem, I’m the customer!!”
Sadly, I think this has a lot to do with a new generation who is basically devoid of humility. In other words, they’re doing you the favor of assisting you, rather than you (the customer) doing them the favor of patronizing their business, thus, you being the entire purpose of them having their job.
I guess I got this expression from my grandparents and I am 60! I am mostly German. I think it’s very presumptuous to assume someone is being rude when they say “No Problem” instead of “You’re Welcome”. Other countries use this expression without condemnation! Geeez! Ridiculous! This is the Polite Police on steroids….
More Formal Ways of Saying You’re Welcome in German:
• Bitteschön
• Bitte sehr
• Gern geschehen (It was my pleasure)
• Mit Vergnügen (With pleasure)
• Gern geschehen (It was my pleasure)
• Gern (shortened form of “Gern geschehen”)
• Nichts zu danken (Don’t mention it.)
• Schon gut (That’s fine. No problem)
• Kein Problem (No problem)
Dear Alice: I appreciate your submitting a comment and do agree it could be presumptuouos to assume someone is being rude when they say “No Problem” instead of “You’re Welcome.” Yet the primary point of the article is not to develop poor habits in using this term as the reply to most situations. Rather, there are better and more accurate word choices a person can think to use. I loved all your suggestions of other ways to express appreciation in German, versus “No Problem.” Thank you.
Thank you, Alice! I couldn’t agree with you more!
Of course it was ‘not a problem’ to preform all those easy tasks. They do not feel grateful for handing you your change as if you where a king. You are a single person thanking them for doing a task they would have done regardless.
If a friend or person asks me to do something simple like pass an object and thank me i will say ‘No problem'(this task caused no problem for me to do and it is such a small task any decent human would help you with it)
if how ever they asked me to help paint there house and say ‘Thank you'(You have my gratitude for helping me with this task) i will say ‘Your welcome'(I am glad i could help because i cherish our relationship)
saying ‘your welcome’ to every little task to me cheapens it when you get a truly heartfelt ‘your welcome’ because you helped them with a ‘problem / task’
Wow this 101 at its best i greatly appreciate this conversation but it would be better with action.
I agree with everyone who said they do not like “no problem”. In grocery stores and restaurants it is annoying. It is not a proper reply to “thank you”. I would bet that the person who says no problem would be upset if their customers stopped saying thank you. SIRED22 ..Do you think “thank you” cheapens when you say it to every little task someone helps you with? I don’t. It is just a part of a civil society.
Dear Terri: I agree. I do not think it cheapens things when a person says “thank you” to every little task as long as the person is genuinely sincere when saying it. It is a part of civil behavior that if everyone were to say it more often I think more people would feel more appreciated.
It should be said when appropriate or when in the wrong
I’d like to point out there are situations in which “No problem” is more appropriate then “you’re welcome.” What if you go to assist someone say if they’ve had some kind of accident and need help or you are giving them some kind of emotional support. If they say, “Thank you for coming,” wouldn’t it sound much more rude to say, “You’re welcome,” than, “No problem?” “No problem” seems to imply that it was not a problem to come and assist this person because you actually care, so how could it be a problem? And the same goes for when you hold the door for someone and they say, “Thank you,” as they should, and you respond, “No problem.” It implies that they in no way inconvenienced you in making you wait to hold the door and that you’re happy to help. That’s what I mean when I say it. And I do say it and I will keep on saying it because you all are reading way to much into two tiny words.
You all are being ridiculous. You are all a bunch of grammar Nazis and etiquette snobs. Perhaps you all should watch this video of Stephen Fry talking about appreciating the beauty of language rather than constantly trying to correct it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY&list=FL25EJs5sSCGa0MN-jT35Lfg&index=5&feature=plpp_video
Also, to Gregg Plummer: Why don’t you worry about your own generation and stop insulting a younger generation just because you all think you’re still awesome. My mother is always going on about how great her generation was and about how my generation is not nearly as good, blah, blah, blah. You know what, there are some really terrible people in my generation, it’s true. How else do TV shows like Jersey Shore survive? But, since we’re talking about rudeness, I think it is immensely rude to create stereotypes of people based on age. Less than bright youths my age watch Twilight, but so do people from your generation. Just like people my age are also going to be winning Nobel prizes in the future, just as people your age probably did (certainly not you, of course). So, why can’t older people just back off? Stop trying to blame all the problems of the world on anyone under the age of 25. You people made some pretty dumb choices too. (Sorry this is so long and fragmented, but you really shouldn’t have brought age into it. It makes me quite angry and I want to yell a lot.)
Dear Ilsa: More than anything I appreciate your taking the time to write such a long post. It proves the blog is working. Blogs to me are to share opinions and evoke discussion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion… which is what democracy is all about. It is up to each reader to decide for themselves whether to agree or disagree with any opinions shared. What I want most from anyone who contributes to this blog is to—of course—be honest, yet to do it in a respectful and considerate manner. Regrettably, there have been a number of past approved posts that were on the border of being rude and inappropriate, yet we have so far allowed them. I welcome all opinions.
This is absolutely correct. When you say “No problem” you are not implying there is a problem as many posters seem to think. You are doing the opposite and flat out saying there is not a problem. I find the phrase you’re welcome to be much more negative and weighted. If I ask someone to do something via text or email which I conclude with a “thanks” or “thank you” and they respond with a “no problem” that seems natural and lets me know they will get it done. If the respond “you’re welcome” it seems like they are inconvenienced by my request and I should be aware that they have done something for me.
I am not against the etiquette in general, but I really don’t understand why people find the whole ‘no problem’ thing annoying. I personally don’t use these words because I write poetry and so, I know the worth of language perfection, but seriously, in daily life situations when we don’t usually think much before saying something – who cares? After all, I choose to understand these particular words literally, as they are – ‘no problem’ to me, means exactly that there isn’t any inconvenience in doing someone a favor, something which is not a part of our job, since for our work we are usually paid, so it would be inappropriate if there actually was a problem, so these words here do not apply – if someone used them at work, that of course, would be almost rude, I agree, since the job has to be done anyway and because one is paid to do it, one is also expected to recognise the orders of the boss whether it is problematic for them or not, so it is generally not expected to be heard, as it suggests there might be a problem and the oerson is communicating that they are having no problem – something the boss isn’t really interested in – whether they can or cannot do the job, because they simply have to do it, or they would be dismissed. So, there is simply no point to express our ability or disability to do the thing asked of us, if we anyway have to do it, as it was earlier agreed. Instead, I think it would be correct to just say something like ‘of course’, ‘yes, Sir/Madam’, ‘immediately’ etc. Or, if someone doesn’t really want to sound so servant-like when replying to an order from the boss, well, it is all right to say simply ‘yes’ or ‘all right’, although I usually say informally just ‘okay’ since I don’t work in a formal environment. Otherwise, I would rather say nothing at all, but just do the thing I’m asked of, without questionning, unless it was something that goes against my principles or something I really hate doing. Or something I am not able to do at the moment. Then, I would obviously give a reason in case of resistance.
However, saying ‘no problem’, when understood literally, is just fine when it comes to non-professional environment, informal relations and situations when the thing asked of us is something the asker knows it might cause some inconvenience because it is not something we are normally expected to do, but a favor, like for example, a friend going shopping and another friend asking them to get some stuff for them on their way back because they can’t go by themselves, the type of situation ‘buy me this and that, I will give you the money back later’ – that would be a favor, so saying ‘no problem’ in that case means nothing but ‘there isn’t any inconvenience for me in doing this for you’, so that the person know that we can do the thing and be at ease that their request is not putting us in a dificult situation (which could be, if we, for example, have no time and many other things to do along with our shopping)… For example.
This is my personal opinion and I think it is justified to use these words in that case.
Yet, if we say ‘no problem’ after completing a task, the same rules apply – basically speaking, if the task we are thanked for, was but a part of our job or it was expected of us anyway and we still receive a ‘thank you’, just for politeness, which does not necessarily mean the person really feels grateful for that particular thing – they are just being nice saying ‘thank you’ – then, it would not be correct to say ‘no problem’, thus suggesting there might have been a problem but there wasn’t. Nevertheless, if that was a favor and someone is thanking us for it, then I see no problem in saying ‘no problem’… 😉 ;)- That communicates the person that we could easily do what they asked us to do, so they might feel no discomfort having asked something of us which we did not HAVE TO do, after all, yet, we did…
The same situation as with saying ‘no problem’ while asked a favor. Because, after all, we don’t have to do the thing, yet we do it, that means we are quite willing to do it and we are also able to do it – this is the message transmitted in these words – ‘no problem’, thus informing the asker that his wish is not a difficult or impossible task for us to fulfill, so they do not need to worry about it interferring somehow with our own plans, such as going out while we are asked to do something else which would most probably make us have to change those plans… Such as a situation when a friend or relative asks us to do something for them and we already have another plans for the time they want us to perform the task – so, in this situation, the request interfers with our own plans and so, saying ‘no problem’ would mean exactly that there is nothing interferring or preventing us from doing the thing asked of us… This is what I think. 🙂 This is what it means to me. And yes, I am also quite particular about words… 😉 After all, I am a poet, a philosopher, and a linguist. I speak more than one foreign language and I always look for appropiate and accurate words, adequate to the situation.
Greetings from Poland! 😉
Aisha Baranowska
I think saying ‘you’re welcome’ is even more impolite than a ‘no problem’, since it implies that the person isn’t really happy to do the job. Or while inviting someone to come over as a guest, and saying ‘you’re welcome’ in that case makes the guest-to-be feeling inferior, somehow. It is like when I hear ‘you’re welcome’, then I feel that I’m not really welcome, it creates the feeling that the person is not being sincere while saying ‘you’re welcome to come’, so it actually communicates the guest that we don’t really want them to come, but we are just trying to be polite – inviting them, but with certain dose of reserve – ‘you’re welcome’ sounds like ‘we don’t really want you to come, but if you come, we will MERELY ALLOW YOU to enter and be our guest…’ So, if they will merely allow me to be their guest, then of course, I don’t feel like coming.
But, there is still another side of the medal, obviously… If we really have an intention to communicate our disagreement to have the person as our guest, but we don’t want to tell them openly ‘we don’t want you to come’ because it would be more than rude, then saying ‘you’re welcome’ is actually much more fitting for the situation and way more polite to say – because the person is less likely to feel offended than if we say to them ‘please, don’t come’… Don’t you think? ;* This is what I think, anyway. And moreover, we don’t need to give the reasons when asked why we don’t want to receive a person as our guest, if we tell them ‘you’re welcome’ – they will understand perfectly and they will probably not come at all, but without being offended, since offense was not our intention, but rather, merely suggesting they shouldn’t be coming, without giving a reason. So, in that case, I approve of saying ‘you’re welcome’, but, I do not approve of it in a situation when our intention is not to scare the guests away… 😉 This is exactly the same as saying ‘no problem’ in some situations – being just fine, while in other situations – being even rude… Everything depends on the situation – on the people, place, time, circumstances etc. This is to say that the etiquette IS AND CAN BE FLEXIBLE… 🙂 To me, the etiquette is indeed quite flexible, anyway. This is what makes it somehow relative term, since the social rules and what is appropriate or inappropriate, depends on the society, culture, tradition, times we live in, place we are in, and so many other things… Every country and nation have their own unwritten rules of behaviour, speech etc. If something for us is rude, for others is not and vice-versa. So, there really is not point in pointing out something as the only correct to do or say or only incorrect… This is called cultural relativism, I know. But, it is not and should never be as problematic as it is to some of us… 🙂 This is my opinion on the matter. 🙂 Thank you for your time to read my comment, just in case someone got bored reading but kept reading to the end… 😉 Also, I don’t know why in so many books in English I often see ‘further’ rather than ‘farther’ – to be sincere, I have never heard of ‘farther’ before. The only option I have ever seen in my whole life and I was even taught at school (!!!) was indeed, ‘further’. So, what is wrong with that? Why would it be a spelling mistake? After all, spelling changes with time and what was correct spelling of a word some time ago, might not be considered as such anymore… At least this happens in my language – in Polish… 🙂 Greetings!
Aisha Baranowska ;*
Aisha: To your question about the difference between further and farther… “further” means to move something to a greater extent or degree, as in “I want to further my acting career.” Farther is a word relating to distance. “He threw the ball farther down the field.” They are two distinctly separate real words that most people get mixed up and use the wrong word for the wrong meaning. Although some dictionaries now allow them to be used interchangeably, anyone who wants to speak the English language well does continue to use both words correctly. It now has become a sign of your level of education and is most egregious to those who proclaim to be “in the know.” It trust you and all reading this are now “in the know” and will henceforth use the correct words for the correct meaning. Happy Practicing!
“You’re welcome” is the appropriate response to “Thank you”. I hope I am not inconveniencing the store clerk by allowing her to serve me such that she feels a need to respond “no problem”.
My quick reply to thank you is “No worries,” which I suspect but don’t know for sure is of Australian origin. I’m going to watch that in the future, but i have to tell you I have more of a concern with the “My bad” reply when someone should be offering an apology. “My bad” seems dismissive and arrogant, as in, I did wrong, but get over it. It’s not that big a deal.
It is !!
We say it all the time, regardless of age or situation.
Brandon: Being mindful and paying attention to what we say, in specific situations, is the key to the appropriateness of the words ‘no problem.’
AISHA, You are so right! . I consider “No Problem” perfectly acceptable and kind – (depending on the tone of voice just as any other comment -including “You’re Welcome”)
It says to the asker that their request was NOT in any way a problem for the doer – and gives the ASKER a feeling that they have not been a burden (as some VERY kind people actually LIKE to be reassured that they have NOT been a problem) I come across these types of insecure people ALL THE TIME being in customer service. (especially sweet little ole ladies :))
I can tell that they MUCH appreciate that I have reassured them that what they have asked IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR ME TO DO IT FOR THEM!!!! It is ALL in the your tone of voice and manner.
ON the Other Hand, I come across those “types” of ASKERS that certainly are a PROBLEM and they only exist in this life to complain and make PROBLEMS because they are innately RUDE and difficult people – therefore they will NEVER hear the words “NO PROBLEM” from me as they CERTAINLY are a problem and they were not POLITE or kind.
The people that HAVE a problem with this comment probably ARE THOSE TYPE OF ASKERS – the “to do” over this perfectly innocent comment is proof. LOL! To them I say: You’re Welcome – a cold, albeit polite, response. (If I give someone a gift and I get a Thank You – a You’re Welcome works. If I do a service for someone and get a Thank You – then a No Problem is VERY appropriate!)
No one is going to change my mind on that – I am 60 yrs of age and I do not believe it is a BAD HABIT! It is a reassuring response to the people that I serve and that is how it is conveyed to them. It has never invoked a negative response. I just happened across this “uptight” web site & it really irks me that there are such “judgemental” polite police that have no idea what they are talking about. I put the German in to proove that it is a world wide phrase and that it is perfectly common, MODERN terminology – It is not rude – NOT insulting. Get over it!
I work in a store (not in the US) and I agree that while travelling in the US the flippant use of “no problem” often irked me, however it was not what was said but HOW it was said. It’s quite obviuos when someone is interested in helping you and geniune or not. Today at work I was asked to not say “no worries” to customers. I am extremely polite and friendly and have been using “thank you” “no problem” “cheers” and “no worries” and many more rejoinders as ways of making customers feel comfortable for my whole life. But instead of complementing anything good in the store I am doing my boss chose to pick on this one little thing. I am 44 years old and am not prepared to change the way I speak because of someone anal retentive English language paranoia…are you all so well spoken??? I very much doubt it. Stop being such nazis and get a life. There’s more to worry about this in the world. I am resigning tomorrow as I will not change who I am or how I speak.
Dear English Teacher: I was sorry to read at the end of your post you were resigning from your job over such a minor matter… as you describe, if as you say this is a small matter. For you and all to understand, my articles are merely my own thoughts, feelings, and opinions on various subjects and everyone reading them has full right to agree, disagree, follow or not follow the tips provided. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s posts on this topic and have made every effort to post them all… minus those with inappropriate language. Also, at 44 years of age you are still young by today’s standards and no matter what age you are, anyone can change if they have the interest, right attitude, and heart to do it. Again, it’s your choice. Good luck!
Beautiful. Thank You! (My wife loves this discussion). In order to sometimes get the “no problem” folks to say your welcome, I can sometimes be deliberate and slow in my thank you, so that it strains them to say “NP”. Today, one said “thank you” in return to my “THANNNNK YOOOOUU”. Score! Later, I tried to wedge out “your welcome, but failed miserably, with my wife and daughter snickering as we left the restaurant. Fun game.
Have you got any ideas on how to pull a Your Welcome out of the chronic offenders? Maybe saying “your welcome” quickly, before saying thank you, might mentally prime them to get back on the courtesy bus.
Helo Syndi, How refreshing that I am not on my own in my loathing for bad English. This friday evening my wife and I were at a nice Indian restraunt when I overheard the manager take a telephone order. He ended his conversation withe dreaded “no problem!”. When I came to pay my bill,I politely asked him if he would like a good marketing tip that would endear him to his customers?. At first he looked rather bemused but nontheless listened to me. I said that it was more appropiate and polite to use the expression. ” my pleasure ” or “your welcome”, in fact you should never let the word “problem” cross your lips within earshot of a customer. If you have to say we’ve had a “problem” then say ” we’ve had a “difficulty!” why? because a difficulty is work in progress with an attempted solution being applied. A “problem is not!, its static ( awaiting a solution). When a problem has an attempted solution applied to it, it then at worst becomes a “difficulty”. To illustrate, I took a friend of mine to Gatwick airport to board a flight to Paris. We arrived at the desk to be told correctly I may add that there was a “problem”… Bad English? Actually no! Her next sentence was “I’m afraid the airline has gone bankrupt and all flights have been cancelled!”. This was definitety not a”difficulty!” but in every sense of the word a”problem!” Another pet hate that is creeping in is the affirmative ” yeah yeah” instead of “yes” even my manager says it and it really is irritating. So in conclusion the restraunt manager thanked me for the advice to which I said ” your welcome”.
Gordon and Mike: Success and Hurray!… one person at a time. Thank you for sharing your stories.
This has been bothering me for so long, glad to see there are many others who agree that ‘no problem’ is a rude response from cashiers and wait staff. Without realizing it, they are announcing that you did bother them, but that they are being gracious about it and have chosen not to be put out by your requests. This is THE OPPOSITE of customer service; the staff person’s JOB is to help, fix, deliver, serve, give, etc. They are not doing you a special favour by performing tasks for you. Yes, we should thank them, but let’s be honest: they are working for us, even for just a few moments, their time and energy belongs to us, that is the nature of the service industry, that for a wage and sometimes tips, paying customers really are their concern, and that being really helpful and good at serving is not ‘extra’, it is their duty.
A perfect description and explanation of “No problem”, Bluebirdsinging. In service industries, appropriate replies to a customer’s “Thank you” (and variations such as “You’ve been very helpful”) include “It’s been my pleasure” (or simply “My pleasure” to a routine “Thank you”), “Certainly”, “Of course”, “You’re welcome”, and as Mike Holland says, “Thank you” with emphasis on “you”.
To English Teacher: If I may inquire, would you have agreed to adopt a more formal language style, as your boss requested, if he/she had indeed complimented you (I’m assuming you meant “complimenting”, not “complementing”) on the quality of the other aspects of your job performance?
More simply, do you understand why it probably wouldn’t go over well if your first words upon meeting the Queen of England were along the lines of “What up, girl?” (“I swear, she was cool with it!”) Jeans and t-shirt in the Ritz-Carlton’s bar (“I looked better than the Gucci’d out hags that were there, I can tell you that.”) Just a towel around you, Saturday morning at the bakery (“What, was I showing anything?”) Burping and farting in church (“They’re natural, necessary functions.”)
C’mon, grow a little. (I am not changing the way I talk!”) Trust me, you’ll still be you. Get a book on etiquette. It’s all very easy, and believe it or not, most of it is simple ways to become kinder, smarter, and more gracious. “Get a life!” might become for you, “Have you read (such-and-such)? What a terrific book, such mind-blowing ideas,”
Aisha: Wow. Alright, I’ll pick just one… “Thank you” and “You’re Welcome” are rare with regard to invitations; they’re not appropriate. They go like this:
“We’d be very happy if you came to blah-blah-blah.”
“That sounds wonderful. Sure. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Great. We can’t wait to see you again.”
“Same here.”
(Probably the language (English), but this business about “you’re welcome to come” has nothing to do with the kind of “you’re welcome” that follows “thank you.” There’s only one usage for “you’re welcome to come” in an invitation – that is, when the occasion is either not a social event or is a social event the ‘asker’ isn’t looking forward to attending or is compulsory.
“Yeah, I have to pick up my Mom at the Tampa airport. You’re welcome to come but she’s just going to blab the whole way home about her surgery.”
“I have to go to this bullshit work party. You’re welcome to come, but it’s gonna suck.”
I cannot tell you how relieved I am to read your sentiments on No Problem. I have stopped many teenager cashiers in the middle of their ‘-blem’ and said, I know I am not a problem, but you know what is? I want to be welcome, not no prob. Amazing epidemic. When I was young, I overcame bad habits when smart people who did not accept sloppy work or speech spoke up. Apologies to Edmund Burke, but All that is necessary for evil (this unfortunate phrase) to triumph is for good men to do nothing!
You are being quite rude to people making minimum wage to serving you.
I obviously need help in better understanding this issue that people have with “No problem.” My perception of the term “No Problem” has been so different than all of yours… its like night and day!
I believe “No problem” may have bugged me once or twice, but only if the person saying it had a rude or indifferent tone of voice.
Now, I consider myself a very motivated, helpful and kind person. I would never intentionally be rude to anyone, yet I say “No problem.” To say “You’re welcome,” feels unnatural to me, almost boastful. To say “My pleasure” makes me feel funny.
I think for a lot of people, “No problem,” used in that context, has gained a meaning of its own. To me it means, “Really don’t thank me please. You deserve what I did for you, therefore it does not require a thank you and I am happy to help!” Or, “honestly, you really do deserve that help… don’t thank me I’m here to serve you!” I don’t want to get a big head. Or, “You were so nice and awesome that it made me happy to help you and never even required a thank you.”
I must admit, I correct my boyfriend’s grammar a lot and now I feel like such a hypocrite!
As far as “My Pleasure,” well I only heard that one a few times, and each time, I assumed that the person was flirting with me! I knew what it was meant to mean, but assumed otherwise. WOW. LOL
Thanks for this, I am glad you shared this pet peeve of yours and will try not to offend people and try my hardest to say “You’re welcome.”
P.S. – Someone mentioned the waitress and cashiers above. I waited tables and it was HORRIBLE. I felt like a slave to people’s picky desires. The only way I was contributing to the evolution of man was helping them to get fatter. I must admit back then, I would have had a problem with saying “Your welcome,” and honestly meaning it…
I agree with you 1000000 percent. Not only do I think saying this is incorrect I think it’s Downright rude and inconsiderate. Today I invited a friend to a party. It was sort of a favor as I did not want to go alone however it was a nice party with extremely nice people free food drinks….after the party I texted my friend to say thanks for coming with me. It was a party. Its notice I asked him to help me move or drive me to the airport. His reply?no problem”. I felt this was offensive and made me wince and regret inviting him. Why would I think it was a problem in the first place? So by telling me no problem I think that this crossed his mind as being so. How bout it was nice to see you. I had fun. Happy to help out……or any variation but by merely inserting the word problem I’m left feeling soured as though I had somehow imposed. Even if I helped someone move or did a big favor I would never say no problem because I would not want them thinking I felt it was
Ok, I have to admit I am one of them. I have always said no problem and recently my manager informed me that it is rude. I had no idea. (I am in the younger generation.) He told me to ask my grandmother what she thought on the subject. (She is no longer alive . . .so, I wound up here.) I have always taken it to mean, my pleasure. I mean it when I say it; that it isn’t a problem at all and I am happy to do it. I had no idea people would assume I meant that there was a problem in the first place.
I only want to add my voice to this discussion to show that people are not always saying it because there is some unseen problem and we are being passive aggressive about it. It is just becoming a daily pattern in our speech and generally means my pleasure, to those who say it. I do realize now that saying my pleasure is a more direct and proper way to say it. I also feel like it’s something my grandmother would say and honestly makes me feel very stuffy. I am practicing saying you’re welcome instead. This may be common among younger folks as my pleasure just might be too “old school”. I have never heard anyone my age say it.
I just say “Glad to help” instead of “No Problem”.
If someone says “No problem” to me I smile to myself in a self deprecating way in the knowledge that even though people don’t say what my sensitive ears would prefer to hear I realise it’s more of a poor reflection on me that it bothers me.
I agree that drives me crazy, and now “no problem” has a lengthened version: “not a problem” which is even worse !
I recently had an interview for a “waitress” position (yes I said waitress not server)…
the owner of the restaurant said he did not want to hear anyone saying “not a problem”. Hats off to him.
I find the overuse of “as well” for also and too equally annoying.
Being somewhat of a geezer, I am none to fond of “no problem” and prefer “you’re welcome.” I think that to say “no problem” is to suggest that there may have been a problem. How could it be a possible problem when cashiers and other people involved in service are doing their job which they are being paid for?
Thank you for your crusade Syndi. I have been discussing this topic off and on for a few weeks with my wife after pointing out that our server responded to my “Thank you” with a “yeah” and later an “uh-huh.” Keep your head up facing the “etiquette-bashers” whom feel they’re adding an easier way of communicating “You’re Welcome” with some alternative sub-grade response 🙂
I used to feel insulted when someone said “no problem” to my “thank you”. After reading the following explanation, I accept the practice.
The 2003 Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms, page 255, under phrases with a purpose, idioms of reaction, states:
“If someone has done something helpful, you will be likely to use a polite expression like “thank you” or “thanks”, which is a way of showing your appreciation”. When someone thanks you for something you have done for them, it is polite to say, “you’re welcome”. A more formal expression, not so often used, is “don’t mention it.” Far more common today, especially among younger people, is the informal expression “no problem”, which also has other uses.
“No problem” is also used with the meaning of agreeing to do something that you have been asked to do. The intention is to tell the person asking you that they have not caused you any difficulty because what you have been asked to do is easy or unimportant, and not worth worrying about: “Can you pick up Sophie when she gets out of school today?” “Sure, no problem.”
No problem is also used in situations where someone might think you are annoyed or angry about something they have done, and you want them to know that you are not annoyed: “I’m sorry, I dialed the wrong number.” “No problem.”
”
Found at:
http://books.google.com/books?id=ytJNRDL0zDgC&pg=PA172&lpg=PA172&dq=%22Cambridge+Dictionary+of+American+Idioms%22+%22no+problem%22&source=bl&ots=WKI5xRsEa2&sig=t0UYNS5k1CkEU7oww6Fpip_MVHk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=jCyvUOu2CerrigLq-oGABQ&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=%22Cambridge%20Dictionary%20of%20American%20Idioms%22%20%22no%20problem%22&f=false
I re-thought this:
The definition of “no problem”, where “thank you” is concerned, is “no thanks or apology is necessary”, found at http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/no_problem, http://thesaurasize.com/no+problem, etc. Google: “no problem” definition “no thanks or apology is necessary” returns 12,600,000 results.
I do have a problem with this, because, I feel that saying, “thank you” is ALWAYS necessary. Many times, people ignore that and are unappreciative. It shows a lack of caring for others. Then again, if someone, like a store clerk, states that your gratitude (thanks) is not necessary, they’re implying that you should take care of business and just leave because they really want no personal interaction whatsoever. Or, worse, does it mean that your thanks is unwanted (not necessary) and they are implying that you refrain from expressing your gratitude in the future, which is just plain rude and inappropriate. So, what’s my response to them? Good question.
I simply do not have a problem with the phrase. Furthermore, I cannot bring myself to understand how people find it offensive. It is just a way of acknowledging your willingness to help, or have helped. While I myself have pet peeve phrases, I think people are over-thinking this one.
I think “you’re welcome” sounds a little stuffy and people tend to say it automatically without any true sentiment. I do not mind, You’re welcome, no problem, no worries or my pleasure as responses to a thank you, as long as they are presented in a friendly, genuine way. It’s all about attitude. You’re welcome could be stated in a snotty, nasty tone, while no problem could be spoken with a friendly tone and a bright smile. In this case I would definitely prefer, no problem. 🙂
This has been a pet peeve of mine for a very long time, and I’m just about to the point of asking people what their problem is!! The response, “No problem,” makes me feel like I’ve put someone out for doing their job. The phrase is rude, and needs to be removed from our vocabulary for good. Thanks for listening.
Thank you thank you thank you, for bringing this up.. I have been telling my workers this is very inappropriate for hair stylist. When someone says that to me I feel I was going to be a problem or could have been a problem… Plus it really is a negative come back.. It makes no one feel good… I found out hotels are training the workers not to say this, Chick Filet does not allow this & I hope lots of other businesses take notice.. Maybe , just maybe it would be ok if someone was working on a technical problem such as a car, computer or something that was not directed at you (the person himself) maybe, no not even then… Certainly not a customer who you want to come back and see you… Why even taking the chance to insult a person… I’m on a mission to kindly tell people not to say ‘no problem’ because it may reflect on there tip… So I give them choice & hopefully a good tip… Really folks, its just good common sense. This is a no brainer… It seems to be more in the young so I do understand some of it.. How sad for a grandparent for someone to say this.. An elderly lady once said this world is monkey see monkey do.. Lets make good decisions in life it goes a lot further…
i work at a help desk i find myself saying this all the time. now i realize that ‘no problem’ is the worst thing to say so i’m going to change it to ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘my pleasure ‘ or something besides ‘no problem.’
Amen! I found your page after searching for something I could take to work. I am responsible for education in a small hospital and I simply must find a way to redirect those who care for our customers – inpatients, outpatients. and visitors – in response to being thanked for their services. I am personally offended when someone responds “No problem” to me, because it implies that it could have been a problem; and it is sometimes stated with a bit of inflection as though sarcasm is in fact being stated outrightly. A solid, “You’re welcome” bears sincerity.
Thank you!
I completely agree. I find “no problem” so cold! English is not my first language so when I hear “no problem” it sounds even rude. I agree “what the problem in the first place?”. You’re welcome is the appropriate answer because when I say thank you I am genuine and if you respond “no problem” you are not being reciprocal, you are just responding for obligation (at least it’s the way it looks). I try hard not to take it personally
You all must either be single mothers/women or women over the age of 60 that have not yet learned how to adapt to today’s society. You people are really over thinking this. It is just the way that the language has developed in recent years. Different words, same meaning. Stop over-analyzing this. Sheesh…
Dear -_-: This is exactly the point of this discussion. The way language has developed in the recent 25+ years is skewing the English language. The better educated person will know the right words to use for the right situations. This is what it’s all about. It’s not about over analysing anything. Example: When talking about distance, sports commentators often say, “He threw the ball “further” down the field..” Rather, correctly it should be “he threw the ball “farther” down the field…” Farther describes distance, further describes advancing something. Different words used, yet absolutely do not mean the same thing. Another example is how stores have 10 items of less lines. It should correctly say, “10 item or fewer.” Less is quantitative as is 10 item or less than what? Fewer just means what it is… fewer than 10. It’s all about being “in the know.”
I understand that this post and its comments are quite old, but I feel I need to add. Language changes. That's just how it works, and there's nothing wrong with it. Proper English is completely different from how it was a hundred years ago. The way that most people speak becomes the correct way, as long as it's understandable. Why do we need to keep old fashioned ideals? If everyone says "no problem" in response to "thank you," then that becomes correct. In the article, there weren't any good reasons why we shouldn't use "no problem." Just that it's overused and unoriginal, but if everyone said "you're welcome" instead, wouldn't that become overused and unoriginal as well? As for the argument that it's impolite, how? You're just saying that the favor or task that you completed for someone was not an issue. You're saying that you're glad to help them and it caused you no problems. How is that rude? I also find it hypocritical that you have spelling mistakes in your own comment…
Lauren: I appreciate you taking the time to write. As to any etiquette being old-fashioned, I disagree. It is all about appropriateness to fit the specific situation.
As to my spelling mistakes, I apologize. I recognize a tendency to type too fast and not proofread. I recently got Grammarly which helps a great deal and do recommend it to everyone. All the best!
There were many reasons given in this article as to why it's rude–not simply overused and unoriginal. I fail to see how someone telling me "No problem" translates that they were "glad to help". If they were "glad to help," then they should just say that. I don't understand why the person is bringing up the idea of problems when there were no problems to begin with. As stated by one person earlier, I don't feel the idea of "problems" should be brought up around customers unless an actual problem was averted. And for people who say "No problem" when they've held the door for someone, it's just plain rude. You need to stop thinking that you've made the "sweet little ole ladies" reassured when you've just been so rude/insensitive towards them.
-_- Overthinking this? I think not. Perhaps you are under-thinking it. Not to mention the fact that you are marginalizing our language.
Your insult to single mothers//women or women over the age of 60 did not go unnoticed, either. There is no room for misogyny is this discussion, however.
We have all seen many examples of “the way the language has developed in recent years”, and many of us are concerned that it is quickly losing ground.
Well said Syndi.
Sadly, all too often these discussion get hijacked by “so called trolls”who’s clear intention is to ignite a controvesy that meanders off subjectand desends intoan exchange of insults. The usual hallmark of such is to annonymise themselves as seems to be the case on this entry.
Bringing the subject back to good English (not perfect ) I do spend time analysing what I and other people say and drawing “reasonable” conclusions which is not in itself bad.To illustrate, who of us will not evrry morning look at and analyse our appearance and where necessary make reasonable adjustments in order that when others look at us they form a favourable impression. Therefore it follows that the same approach to ones Enlishcan pay the same dividends. These and those people do not further their argument any farther by “celebrating” illiteracy.
Kind regards Gordon.
Because I’m bulgarian, I used to say it all the time. In bulgarian, one usually replies with “За нищо” which means “For nothing”. Another common response in bulgarian is “Няма проблем” which means “No problem” or “No worries”. I’m trying to stop using it lately.
You are not alone. When I ask a colleague to do their job and provide me info I thank them when they provide the info. 90% of time I now get a “np”. So now I reply “Were you expecting there to be a problem?”
Syndi, well done. Along with spelling and grammar, the use of “no problem” is also a pet peeve of mine.
P.S. On a related topic, I wanted to point out the improper use of the word ‘inn’ above. In the last sentence of the sixth paragraph, you say…”even inn movies”…, when I think you meant…”even in movies”…Sorry, but I just couldn’t help myself.
Dear Joe L: Thanks for the comment and catch on the typo. I appreciate you pointing it out. It’s now corrected. Syndi.
I disagree. There is a very subtle difference between “You’re welcome” and “No problem.” “You’re welcome” implies that I acknowledge that I have intentionally done something for you that I consider to be of value, and I do expect to be thanked for it. I go out of my way to hold the door open for you, you say “thank you,” I say “you’re welcome.” But if I’m already holding the door open for myself and only slightly delay for you, you walk through and say “thank you,” I may reply with, “no problem,” meaning I really didn’t do all that much and don’t particularly expect acknowledgment for it, although it is appreciated.
To say “You’re welcome” is to accept the gift of thanks. To say “No problem” is to humbly deflect it. Where “You’re welcome” is used, it implies there would have been insult had the “thank you” not been offered. Where “no problem” is used, it implies that the “thank you” is a bit of a surprise.
Of course, I assume not everyone agrees with me and that’s okay. David Sedaris, very funny and prolific author, is on a personal crusade against the word “awesome.” I also disagree with him. 🙂
Hi
In reply to Kelly.
You are to be congratulated for disagreeing so eloquently. And, bearing in mind that this site is titled “advanced etiquette” it is only proper to accommodate a reasonable challenge of thought with good grace.
However I have to say I am unconvinced with your explanation.
To say that there is a “subtle difference” between “you’re welcome” and “no problem” in my opinion is an understatement. If I let a door remain open a little longer to accomodate a peer and I respond to thank you with ” no problem” then I send a signal that if that person thought that it may have been a problem then I am simply (and only) reasuring them that it wasn’t.
That is hardly complementary!.
However, if I respond with ” you’re welcome” then you are sending a signal that you hold that person with esteem and that it is your pleasure to acknowledge that with a compliment.
I would hardly say that that difference is “subtle!”
Hence the one response may be more commonplace whilst the other may not be however I would say the later is good etiquette and I use it regularly with my customers who in turn have noticed themselves how nice and how different to be spoken to thoughtfully.
We have a saying in England ” the proof of the pudding is in the eating” try habitually using it. You might be suprised at the positive reactions.
I don’t think it’s that serious. Most people, especially me, say, “no problem” out of force of habit. I’ve been saying “no problem” for most of my adult life. Someone brought it to my attention today. Yes, I do tend to over use it…but If I am asked to do something and I successfully carry out the task, what does it matter what I say. Even if I said “gobbledegook” just take it or leave it.
While we are focused on the nuances of the English language, we need to focus REAL issues!
Unless you can grasp the (admittedly and sadly fading) concept of being “of service” to someone (and buy into it), you will never understand the correctness of saying “You’re Welcome” or “My pleasure” as a response to “Thank You”, nor understand the incorrectness of saying “No Problem”.
I knew my skin crawled each time I heard “No Problem” but couldn’t remember what used to be said before this phrase became the norm. THANK YOU for reminding me that “You’re welcome” is the much better response.
I love this page! This is also my pet peeve — every single time I thank “the new generation” the reply, is “no problem”….My husband went out the other night and the ONLY statement we ever got from our waiter was “no problem”…you can only imagine how many times I thanked him for something and that is the reply. We have a new receptionist at work, and all day all I hear her saying is “no problem” – in a law office? Really? I have mentioned to her, but it hasn’t stopped — she has even written a large note taped to her computer screen that says “No not say No Problem”…as a reminder, but it apparently doesn’t work either. Please people, learn proper terms and properly reply to a simple Thank You!
I think the meaning behind the words is more important than the words themselves. It is mostly (young) people that aren’t yet self aware that say “no problem”. They don’t mean any harm by it. They’re trying to be friendly and that’s what I focus on. I’ve seen cashiers that won’t acknowledge a “thank you”. I would rather hear “no problem” than for them to say nothing.
I think it’s important that when you say “thank you”, that you do it out of the goodness of your heart and don’t expect validation in return. Better for your mental health to be grateful for the courtesies you receive. If you expect everyone to say “you’re welcome”, you’re going to be disappointed often, because that’s the way much of society is and you can’t change it. Best thing to do is lead by example.
Remember, many people in the service industry are doing the job because they feel they “have to”. It is likely they aren’t enjoying serving you so if they are to say “you’re welcome”, they will essentially be lying to you. Would you prefer people lied to you or would you rather they be true to themselves thus honest with you?
Last but not least, by expecting people to say “you’re welcome”, you are being hard on them, which naturally means you are hard on yourself. The more peace you can make with yourself accepting your flaws and realizing you’re not perfect, the better you can tolerate others.
I have had the pleasure of being in management for almost 30 years and have trained many customer service / sales people about proper etiquette with clients in a variety enviroments and situations. The words ‘No Problem’ are like an infestation of cockroaches that need to be eradicated. I count myself as one of the minions who have waged a personal crusade against this pestilence. ‘No Problem’ is a problem!!
The transition from “no problem” to “no worries” has exacerbated the ‘problem.’ Both are inappropriate and downright absurd. When I thank a server or a store clerk and he/she says, “no problem” or “no worries”, my immediate reaction is “Of course it’s not a problem (or, “of course I have no worries”); IT’S YOUR JOB! I would not expect you to have a problem performing your job, nor would I worry about you performing your job. On the other hand, a response of “You’re welcome” or “My pleasure” would be most welcome and a genuine pleasure.
I must admit that I don’t like it at all. I have been an expat in Central America for twenty years so I missed out. Whew!! People didn’t use it before the end of the 80’s or beginning of the 90’s. Growing up in D.C. in the 70’s and 80’s I don’t ever remember hearing it. Maybe it was that silly puppet Alf that popularized it.
To BP
I read your contribution with interest whilst I agree with you that people may unwittingly use the expression “no problem in good faith with the best of motives out still remains that to allow good etiquette to degrade without any attempt to try to encourage the proper use of English and especially in customer service environments, it then becomes a self fulfilling prophesy that the language will degrade even further and then where do you draw the line?.
What if you apply your logic to someone who replies yeah man no s**t! come again! ( said in good faith with a good motive?. It’s out not better to proactively attempt to encourage good English before it gets to that.
These expressions were not always in use but have crept in because of lax attitudes which lead to lax speech and lax customer service. Even king Cannute which you seem to suggest we parallel made an attempt.
I recently raised the subject with a hotel manager and we had a long discussion about the subject and he thanked me and told me he would immediately be putting my suggestions into practice with his staff. There is a proven connection between generating profit and the use of good etiquette and composites invest millions of pounds in training their staff on this subject to have a competitive edge in the market place. , “An old proverb says manners maketh man”-. Have a nice day!
Organizing a petition to change a modern colloquialism simply because it bothers you is quite the futile act of frustration.
I always have to wonder what would happen if all the people that spend so much time and energy rallying against relatively inconsequential things, actually focused that passion and energy into the process of changing themselves (which is the ONLY person any of us can control anyway) in order to be a living piece of the solution to so many of the destructive personal, national, and international problems that are threatening life as we know it.
I agree for most circumstances, “You’re welcome” is the best. I used to use “No problem”. What I hear in many cases recently is “No worries”, which is used to avoid the “problem” issue and further to communicate that the gesture for which one is being thanked is an expected or assumed one, and does not require a “Thank You”, and is mostly used in situations of minor import.
Holding a door, helping someone pick up something that was dropped like a book or a pen or some coins are things that in the eye of the
“helper” may not require formal thanks. However changing someone’s flat tire or performing an actual service that is more than a trvial act surely requires a “Thank You” and a “You’re Welcome”.
I
The awareness of proper etiquette is so scarce that to read this was a breath of fresh air. Especially in the service business. The lack of etiquette and language education makes me feel sometimes to create my own course specially for the service business to get rid of this! Another thing when someone says no problem, it can also come across as arrogant – almost ‘like’ don’t do me any favors!
I would like to respectfully disagree with the notion that “no problem” is dismissive or disrespectful. In fact, I believe that the phrase has taken hold as a result of certain bastardizations of the phrase “you’re welcome,” which have become trendy in recent years. I can think of two fairly recent new uses of “you’re welcome.” Both are intentionally sarcastic and condescending.
The first is the use of “you’re welcome” delivered in such a manner as to imply that a “thank you” was deserved but not offered. For example: I, a cashier, might tell my customer, “Thank you very much! Have a great day!” But every now and then I get a rude customer that blatantly ignores me and walks away without responding. Then I loudly think, “yeah, you’re WELCOME” as they walk out the door.
The other use of “you’re welcome” is the snide way of saying “Look what I just did for you. I totally deserve your appreciation.” For instance: I might jokingly (albeit rudely) tell my coworker “I just put away all those supplies you left out yesterday. You’re welcome.” My coworker understands that I am joking. But I’m always afraid my customer might hear “you’re welcome,” but infer that I think I’ve just done him or her some huge favor by giving them a minute of my time.
For these reasons, I choose to say “No problem.” I believe it is a humble, happy medium that does not imply that I believe myself entitled to thanks of any kind. I didn’t do the thing for want of appreciation; I did it merely because I wanted to help you. Alternately, to use the interpretation of “No problem” as meaning “It’s nothing,” I am also trying to communicate, that the person did not burden me in any way. It was no trouble because I wanted to help.
Times change. Languages evolve. Not everyone will experience the same negative connotation of “you’re welcome” that I do, but I believe “no problem” will remain a popular choice as long as “you’re welcome” remains a popular conveyance of derision and frustration.
Angie: Yes, it is a matter of perspective and your comments are appreciated, which is the purpose of blogs. To engage in conversation about various topics.
waiting for an employer to call me, I took the initiative and called this evening after waiting the full day – his response was an apology and formal reason and that it would be accomplished tomorrow – I wanted to respond no problem…. is that incorrect? (in a situation like such)
Dear Shabazz: Yes, I suppose saying “no problem” in this situation is fine. However, because “no problem” has become such an overused phrase that I avoid it like the plague! It’s a phrase I feel never has to be used… in lieu of other equally meaningful words. Perhaps when the person apologized you could simply say, “No apology needed. Thank you for explaining.”
Excellent answer.
However I would be cautious of a future employer who displays a level of incompetence that he or she would not tolerate from you If you were given the job. it’s not just words but actions that matter.
We use a chat / IM program at work. At the end of discussions, I usually have a reason to type “Thank you” and always get a “no problem” or “np” response, so that’s where I get it the most. It’s an annoying phrase.
THANK YOU!! This is approx. the 10th web site I’ve read on the “no problem” issue and I agree with you. The vast majority of opinions on those other sites has been that “no problem” is the most favored response, based on its casual, less formal tone. Younger people seem to hear “you’re welcome” as stilted, formal, condescending, overbearing. “No problem,” to them, is friendly and connotes equality and reciprocity. I’m glad to know that,
but I hear it otherwise. To me, “no problem” dismisses the courtesy I am extending to them, in appreciation of their service. It tempts me to say, “Okay. Forget I offered my thanks.”. Now that I know they are trying to be polite, it’s easier to accept–even though I still don’t like it. Thanks.
I can see both sides of this… something that’s probably going to become more and more common.
Yes, saying “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome” or similar is pretty rude if you take it at face value, literally, etc. It MEANS “You’re welcome,” after all. It’s awfully similar to saying “How’s it going?” when you mean “Hello.” No one’s likely to give you an actual answer as to how it’s going when you offer a greeting like that. At least we hope not. It would seem weird.
“Hi.”
“Well, my dog got hit by a car yesterday.”
No.
So it’s both: It’s rude and implies that giving you back your change might have been a problem… and it’s also simply a manifestation of how language changes. Still, I’ve been making an effort to say this less.
I was born in the 60s and it doesn’t bug me all that much anyway. I get what the person saying it really means. My mom was born in the 30s and it drives her up the wall. What does this indicate? It says that in large part it’s a generational thing. So what. That’s a broader way of acknowledging that it’s how language changes (which is ALSO a generational thing). I hate when the young’uns use “OMG” or “LOL” as actual parts of speech, like they are real words. Those younger than me don’t think there’s a thing wrong with it; those younger than them won’t even notice.
Same thing.
While “no problem” may be annoying to some, to stop it you may as well stand outside and try to restrain the wind.
I have long been bothered by the use of the phrase “no Problem”.
Last night at a charity dinner, I finally spoke out and politely suggested “My pleasure” to the young waiter who was systematically replying “No Problem” to each “Thank you” that was offered at our table of 10. To my surprise, he replied, “That does sound better”. Maybe I finally made a difference in someone’s life. lol
From a customer service viewpoint, No problem” contains two negative, “No” and “Problem”. Psychological perspective you don’t want to introduce negative thoughts to your customers.
Think about. Someone says, “Thank you” and the first thing they hear in reply is “No”. The second thing they hear is, “Problem”. Two negative thoughts!
Hearing, “It was my pleasure, or “My pleasure, or “Glad to be of assistance” or “Happy to help” all have a subliminal positive affect.
Cheers,
John from Pennsylvania
No problem in response to thank you . Please in general don’t throw around thank you unless they really mean it. You are welcome sounds like the person appreciates that you responded in a positive manner to the task or gesture. No problem sounds negitive and leaves me feeling disappointed that I said thank you in the first place.
I’m a public educator, mother, wife, and friend. No matter what role we play in life, responding with “No problem” instead of “Thank you” is indeed a HUGE problem. It’s called poor etiquette, no manners, and just downright rude.
I agree, in the work place it is never OK to say “not a problem” to a customer. It is alright to say “sure thing!”, if “you are welcome” feels too formal. As a teacher I could not imagine saying this to a parent, who really are our kind of like our clients. Our grocery stores and dollar stores etc, need to train these young folks not to say that. Why end a fine transaction with the word “problem”??
To your request, I say “No problem” I will be happy to join you in your quest.
I have a new pet peeve — the “Perfect.” response. Read on http://starnorth.ca/bearings/?p=69.
Ah..if we are transitioning to the “perfect” response, I actually go out of my way to elicit the “perfect” response; indeed, it has become a challenge to go out to a restaurant with my girlfriend, peruse the menu, place our orders, and eagerly await the server’s response. Will it be a “good choice”, which isn’t bad, but not nearly as pleasant as a “perfect.” Ah, I could not have ordered anything better..what a reward!
I am completely floored by the fact that so many people appear to be offended by this phrase. Rather than insinuating that the task someone may have performed for you was a problem, the phrase “no problem” is literally expressing that the task was NOT A PROBLEM. It was not an issue, it was nothing, it was no trouble. I can’t even imagine being the sort of person who would consider “taking back my thank you” just because I didn’t like the phrase someone responded to my thanks with. I understand that the older generation might not quite be used to this phrase yet, but that does not mean that it is hideously rude. Every generation brings along with it new ways of speaking; it’s completely normal. In my opinion, the most genuinely upsetting thing here is the fact that this article infers that the way “your welcome” is expressed in other languages is not “correct”.
I have worked in the service industry all my life and I do not take offence at the use of”no problem” However I think that to make the effort to use a better and more polite your welcome is so much better and training your staff to say the best things can translate into better and more profitable endeavours. That is a fact.
If the previous commenter is floored by such a mission of that to encourage better etiquette then no one can critisise that genuinely held view However lm not “floored because I have a different opinion.
The issue is “no problem” compared to “you’re welcome”. “Your welcome” is for a different context.
Someone else expressed my thoughts on the matter clearly on another site so I am just pasting their response here:
The phrase “no problem” is a short version of “It was no problem,” implying that it didn’t cause the person any trouble or hardship to do the thing for which they are being thanked.
It could be construed as an act of humility or deference, because they are suggesting that the action they performed, and any inconvenience it may have caused them, are unimportant relative to the positive impact to the thanking party.
Fully unpacked, it goes like this:
“It was no problem for me to hold the door for you, because your ease of access is more important than me getting to my car faster.”
Compare this with “You’re welcome”, which could be construed as an acknowledgement by the thanked party that they did do something worth thanking.
In an extreme case, this could be construed as more selfish or even arrogant, because the thanked party is allowing attention to be on them, instead of the other party.
“You’re welcome to this open door, which I am holding open.”
Obviously both connotations are usually very minor and mostly ignored; most of the time, people choose ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘no problem’ because “It’s just what you say when someone thanks you.” I doubt many people actually think it’s arrogant to say “you’re welcome” unless it’s said with a rude tone of voice. However, these implications may explain why ‘no problem’ has become more common, and could even be seen as a more polite reply.
Dominic: I appreciate the time you took to write. Thank you. Your points are well taken. Everyone who reads this post must keep in mind, saying “no problem” is not a phrase “never” to be used. There are appropriate situations it makes total sense. My argument is “no problem” is often an inappropriate phrase for specific situations that has become commonplace. Your example above about is fine to have said “no problem” because it was in fact a true sentiment. What is my pet peeve are examples such as when I give a check-out person money to pay for my purchases, they give me change, I say Thank you, and the person replies, no problem. In this instance a ‘you’re welcome’ would have been more appropriate.
I really appreciated your post! I hate it when people say “No problem” in response to a “thank you” from me.
I think of it this way: you hand someone a thank you for a good deed/favor. “You’re welcome” or “My pleasure” is a way of receiving that thank you with grace and warmth. “No problem” is a way of holding up your hand and refusing the “thank you” or tossing it back like a hot potato. There’s no satisfaction, no exchange of good will or warmth for either the “thanker” or the “no problem-er.”
“No problem” or “No worries” would be appropriate if I apologized for a mistake that I thought may have been a problem. In that context it would be comforting; otherwise, it’s inappropriate and always makes me wince when I receive a “No problem” in response to a “thank you.”
It is really one of my pet peeves and a real mis-use of our language.
Humility is not conveyed by the phrase ‘no problem’.
Negative feelings and emotions are engaged due to the conditioning received in infancy whenever we hear the word ‘no’ and further induced when we hear ‘problem’.
Positive words verbalised enhance a inspiring inner dialogue which in turn may encourage others and consequently ourselves.
I agree.
What do you say when someone apologizes to let them know it wasn’t a big deal and we can move on?
Mish: One thing you could say, “Thank you. I appreciate the apology. No need to dwell on this ever again.” I would not say “no big deal” or a variation of this because it appears you are truly dismissing the original issue/situation as though it wasn’t… whatever.
I am extremely lucky to work in a job which causes me to be thanked countless times a day to which i have always replied with “no problem” or “no worries” and although my customers never seem to mind it drives me crazy mostly because I spent many years learning to speak and have spent many years teaching my children and think the constant use of one or two phrases over and over is limiting so just recently I have tried to use different phrases such as “your welcome” and “my pleasure” and anything else which springs to mind and is more suited to each scenario. I accidentally slipped the other day and said “no problem” so expanded it with “it was my genuine pleasure” and I have to admit it’s quite refreshing and my customers seem to be more receptive to it I imagine this is because it’s a break from the normal robot like response they get everywhere
Your article reminds me of what is wrong with education in this country.
There is absolutely no problem with the expression ‘no problem’.
You have not provided any actual linguistic reason why ‘no problem’ is bad usage beyond you seem to have pathological reactions to other people’s language. And that’s because there is no linguistic reason. (Did you see me begin a sentence with a so-called conjunction? That’s also because there is no linguistic reason why this is ‘wrong’.)
‘No problem’ is also found in languages from Chinese (没有问题 or, literally, ‘no problem’), to Russian (нет проблем or, literally, ‘no problems’) to Spanish (no hay problema).
There is simply no reason why this expression is grammatically incorrect, culturally insensitive or insulting.
Also, regarding the supposed distinction between ‘further’ and ‘farther’, not only is this childishly simplistic difference useless in many cases (“I”m further/farther along in the book than he is.” Seriously, they’re both correct!), but Fowler’s and the Oxford distinction have NO PROBLEM with using them interchangeably!
I have to say that I think that something has changed over a generation. its’ not the language but more a culture amongst the new generations of being seen as humble. People appreciate knowing more information about how it made that person feel to do the favor. Saying “My pleasure” sounds self inflating and pompous. God forbid they found it enjoyable!
To me it seems it has flipped slightly. Thank-you is not just a word used to show appreciation or token word, people actually feel thankful. Thank-you is now really another word for thankful. I am thankful. No problem is a word form of bowing, like saying I am less important, you are more important, I am humbled by your thankfulness. This is why it’s not rude to me at all.
Beyond obvious work situations, favors are not expected and people are not expected to be slaves to one another or of service to one another. And to be so arrogant to imply you deserve service from others (even if you do) looks extremely rude. I think this is due to a huge growth in independence and individualism. People like to do things for themselves, and manage themselves and a balance in power.This has negative and positive sides to it, but this to me gives sound reason as to why “no problem” has become more accepted, and seems LESS rude to me than saying “you’re welcome,” or “my pleasure.”
“No problem” includes not only the intention behind your action but explains that the process wasn’t an issue or cause of negative feelings. You’re welcome does not. In fact it almost seems insincere. No problem also forgives whatever action it took to get to this point (for example if you had to race around town amongst traffic jams to find a specific present for someone it wasn’t pleasurable, but the problems you faced… well… are now not a problem to you).
The sad thing is, people are so insecure that politeness can be seen as a warning that someone is doing something out of their own best interest. Being polite so they can get something, or a sly or malicious intention. Hackers and psychopaths are always extremely polite to begin with. And actually unfortunately a world where people forget to do nice things for people, even simple things like opening doors. Thankfulness is far more sincere these days and less of a token reply.
The positive side is that the intention behind doing things for others is from a place of giving. Giving has replaced service. And with that in mind, this is why saying “no problem” means that giving that particular person your time and energy was no problem to you when they may have felt bad for asking you. People are not great at asking each other for help. No problem has therefore become a reassurance that their request was not in any way problematic. Or alternatively if they know you went out of your way for them, that you have no negative feelings about it.
I guess what I am saying here is that yes there are places to say my pleasure, and you’re welcome….particularly in the workplace or service industries, but something has changed around the meaning and culture of giving and receiving and even with the phrase thank-you itself, making “no problem” a more humble and accepted form of replying to the thankfulness of another.
What do you suggest as an alternative that it is more appropriate?
Azfar: There can be several alternatives to respond to various situations that are equally, more or less appropriate. It all depends on the specific situation that will dictate a proper response.
According to this same literal logic, saying “You’re welcome” implies that you are welcome to use my services any time you want, which also seems unrealistic to me (depending on what I just did for you).
Either way, doesn’t language have implied connotations and tone? I understand that manners are important but I would rather have someone say “No problem” with a smile than someone say “You’re welcome” sarcastically or while rolling their eyes.
Kevin: I suppose you are correct in how every person’s interpretation of words can be different. I stand by my thought that saying “no problem” implies there may have been an unrevealed problem and that “you’re welcome” does imply the person is open to call upon me for assistance again. To me it is not sarcastic in any way. It is simply a cordial and welcoming response. Thank you for writing.
Can you please add “No worries” to your list, as well? I find it even more annoying than “No problem”. A cashier hands me my change and says, “No worries” when I thank him/her? Really? I was worried? About what? The possibility that he/she might cut and run with my measly change?
Grrr ….
This is the most elitist and obviously written by an older person with “young people” in mind thing I have read in some time. Language changes… generations do not speak exactly the same. “No problem” is polite. Being overtly annoyed by people who are trying to be polite is not. Yikes.
For me, being well educated, it all depends on your tone of voice. Honestly, I got way more issues to worry about than the,”No Problem,” like serving my county in Iraq/Afghanistan keeping our people safe. I love it when a non-service member says,” Thank you for your service!” I always say,”No Problem,” since your not going to serve don’t tell me thank you for my service unless your another service member period. I say no problem since it don’t like saying your welcome. Your welcome sucks!
I learned formal etiquette as a child, and served in the Army as a young adult. I still don’t know what to say when someone thanks me for my service. Usually the best I can do is, “It was a job.”
Good to know I’m not the only one uncomfortable answering, “You’re welcome” to this.
On the whole “no problem” thing, It’s hard not to hear arrogance and entitlement in the tone of the messages where this phrase is criticized in this comments section. I understand this to be a generational and probably originating from feelings outside of my own social class, but to the kind individuals who hear this phrase and want to go on a rampage I say, “Relax. Language is fluid, and a self-effacing acknowledgement of your show of appreciation isn’t a sleight against anyone”
It was no trouble at all.
I’m not sure exactly why but “no problem” response gets under my skin too.
Thanks for some oother informative site. Where else may just I
am getting that type of information written in such an ideal manner?
I’ve a mission that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been at the look ouut for such information.
Dimitri: Go to http://www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog to view all past articles and to enroll in our newsletter posts to receive future tips directly. We’d love to have you join our happy family of over 8,000 subscribers worldwide.
Thank you for this column. The “no problem” issue is a problem. I’m with the author of the article. When I say “Thank you,” and the server responds “No problem,” I think no, it shouldn’t be a problem, you’re doing your job, not a problem at all. It has nothing to do with a change in linguistics or being elite or changing times, as suggested in some comments. It’s just rude.
“no problem” IS a problem, a growing ein fact, and alas not just with the milennials. i’ve just decided to try a new response next time it occurs. my other major word peeve is “just sayin'” when someone is trying to be absolved of a discourteous comment. just think before you spea, easier really. the latter seems far more common in emails so my response is to not respond! slang is ok and can be colorful sometimes but rudeness is never in style.
Thank you for posting this. I am instructed at work to use this phrase which I have been fighting for two years. Customers do not need to even think they may be a problem. If they have an issue, it is our duty to settle it, and that should not be a problem. Customer service is just that; we serve the customer and for that is should not ever be a problem.
You never explained how it was incorrect. I do not understand at all how it is rude or even an incorrect response. It’s no different than saying it was no trouble to you for you to help out or do whatever kind thing you did. It’s basically saying you don’t mind or basically that you are willing to do things like that for them at any time. I don’t know if they are taking it from Spanish, but I think it makes perfect sense in English as it is. Also why are you okay with things that have the same meaning or portray the same idea in other languages but are not okay with that used in English? This really doesn’t make sense to me.
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I choose not to respond with “No Problem or No Worries” because to me, it implies that there was a problem or that someone was worried (and the words aren’t very uplifting). I usually respond with “Thank you”, but, depending on the situation, I might respond with: “Of course” or “Anytime” or “You bet”.
I do feel that what is most important, is that the “Thank You” and “You’re Welcome/No Problem/No Worries” are sincere.
I am truly thankful when I say “Thank you”. I really mean it and am not expecting any kind of “You’re welcome” in return.
Patience, tolerance, and understanding are desirable traits. I would rather be around people that mean well and use phrases that are grammatically incorrect than be around people that are so uptight that they are immediately judgmental about every word you say and take them out of context.
I too have been bothered by the response of “no problem” since I started hearing it used so often, and usually in the customer service industry. If I ask a server for ketchup for my hamburger (just as an example) the last thing I would expect to hear is the Hated response of NP. Of course it’s not a problem, it’s your job!
It was my job for many years, how about:
Right Away, or My Pleasure or Certainly. It has always implied to me that it COULD be a problem, but right now it isn’t . Oh I hate it so much, it makes my blood boil I shall join your movement and post to my FB, it’s got to stop people, it’s just so wrong!! Nice to know that I’m not alone. Thank You.
If you want to come off as respectful, “You’re welcome”, with a smile is perfect. You helped someone. Welcome the warm fuzzies, cause you did good.
Now if your friend said, “Yo, Dude! You’re the man!” After you gave him free tickets to a game”, maybe, “No problem!”, “Anytime!”, “You know who loves you'” would be appropriate?
Has it never been considered that when a person speaks, you should aim to recognize what they mean? Has it never been considered that, in non-academic, informal settings, a temporary adoption of contemporary semantics is often necessary to effective and harmonious communication? Has it never been considered that the purpose, and utter definition, of ‘pleasantries’ is thoroughly true to its etymology? Consider it! A simple exposition of pleasant feelings toward another—what unadulterated beauty!
I believe it is true: to pursue peace and humanity is to pursue understanding and acceptance. It is to understand and accept others based upon their adherence to. Absolutely! Reject words of hate and slander! Reject even your own! But REJOICE in others’ thoughts, words, and acts of kindness. In a world of greed and egotism, they are veritable bounties of love and goodwill.
Never shall I justify intolerance, but I shall always justify intolerance for the intolerance of well-meaning others. Truly, such a derisive attitude toward honest acts of kindness is absolutely detestable.
I have an employee who when given an instruction always responds with “no problem”. Or when you catch him bending some rule and you give a little slap on the wrist the answer still is “no prob”. I am expecting “got it” or “I’m sorry”.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about what are binary
options forex. Regards
I bet “You’re welcome” makes more points in a job interview than “No problem.” Speaks volumes about how candidates would treat customers. Think about how those in the hospitality indystry always say, “My pleasure.” Makes me feel important.
Oh my, I found your article because I couldn’t stand one of my colleagues who always responds me with “No Problem” instead of “Thank you” when I had given her work related suggestions. Perhaps she felt it was cool saying that but for sure it drove me crazy.
The question and were brave enough to mention the word “etiquette” in public. Living outside the US for many years the english language has become a pigeon language ; pigeon is now a formal language in Hawaii . “Folks”instead of Citizens, ladies / gentlemen and ” you’re welcome” is too personal. Excuse me has been replaced with ” no problem” or a hand sign instead. As a writer word mangling is like slashing the Mona Lisa, but “not a problem” when texting..
Thank you for the info and folks like you dare to utter that the problem is not using words to connect IS the problem
Oh, I am very much in agreement with this. I loathe when some young silly thing says this back to me after serving me. OF COURSE it’s “no problem” – it’s YOUR JOB! I ALWAYS respond with “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” and do you know what? People actually almost do a double take as they’re hearing a much more genuine and warm term from, unfortunately a different time and (gasp) it ACTUALLY makes them feel better.
Now DO NOT get me started on people who serve me slamming my credit/debit card back onto the counter (next to my out-stretched hand), after I have actually placed it into THEIR hand to start off with.
Blood boiling!!!!!
How do you feel about “No worries”? Thanks.
Stephanie: “No worries” as with “No problem” have their place as good phrases to use… as appropriate! The purpose of this article was to recognize it is not to be used in “all” situations.
The problem is implied. It’s the service you elicited which required you to feel obligated in the first to thank them. The reason any language states it’s nothing, is to tell you, that the implied problem which was just dive for you, and for which you are thanking them for, is not a burden, and therefore does not exist. I would say no problem is a correct response, if not a little lazy or slightly dudesque. But “it was my pleasure”? Come down from your ivory tower…
I agree with you 100% and am on board with your crusade.
Finally!!! Someone gets it. I have been telling my wife this for years. I am glad I am not alone. Your quote of “what was the problem in the first” is something I find myself asking others. I feel like telling the waiter “lf it is not too much of a problem can you…” Thank for posting!!
Dear Syndi,
I thank you for your article re: No Problem. Better late than never?
I have felt this to be rude all along. Sadly, the people saying it are kind, generous, caring—decent people. I believe they are unaware of the rudeness of the expression. They are also unapproachable on the subject for the few times I’ve attempted it made me the bad guy!
Perhaps it’s that too many polite people smile in your face and then weasel and swindle or otherwise pretend to trust without authenticity as in commercial promises often unfulfilled? Then wary customers see a “problem” about the markets. Then maybe they become cynical and change “you’re welcome” into “not a problem”?
Still, returning evil for evil is no good way. Again, I’m glad I found you. And again I am grateful for your article.
Warmest regards,
T. Meyer
Sarasota, FL
I had the same experience. I learnt something new today. Thanks.
To be honest, I was not aware about the term “No Problem” until when I landed in Canada for my PhD. At the first time when I said thank you to someone and I heard “No Problem” I felt offended a bit. This happened again and again and gradually I felt normal about it and I used it in my own words too. Now, out of curiosity I searched about it and It was interesting that my sense about it was not so wrong 🙂
I feel the same way. I totally dislike the comment but I thought it was me
I'm nearly a decade too late to this party, but I would like to disagree vehemently with the assertion that "no problem" is an unacceptable response to "thank you":
Language changes. In fact, language changes with or without your support. We grew up with "you're welcome" as the correct response. But if most people today agree that "no problem" is an acceptable response, then it is an acceptable response, and you'll save yourself a lot of frustration if you accept it as well. Either phrase conveys the same, very low amount of information, and primarily serves the conversational, rather than literal, purpose of acknowledging a "thank you". So at the end of the day, what difference does it make?
Incidentally, in my view the phrase "no problem" is a shortened form of "it was not a problem", meaning that the favor did not pose a burden for the speaker. To say that the phrase implies that there is a "problem" that ceased to exist only when "no problem" is uttered is not a correct interpretation; the use of the past tense brings it in line with the customary replies to "thank you" in other languages. The phrase "thank you" conveys indebtedness, so if the favor was truly not a burden to you, then it is polite to inform the recipient of that favor, in the hopes of easing this feeling of indebtedness. This has the additional benefit of reserving the phrase "you're welcome" for more heartfelt situations where an acknowledgement of a stronger "thank you", in turn acknowledging a bigger favor (one that involves much more effort than, say, handing someone a room key at a concierge desk), is required. I believe this more open mindset is better suited for the language of today.
Hello John: I appreciate you taking the time to submit comments on this post. While your points are well-received. Perhaps the deeper response is, it all depends on the situation whether ‘no problem’ is appropriate or not. Happy Practicing!
I was once told by an employer to never say No Problem, say My pleasure! That stuck with me, I also say, Absolutely, or Of Course. I've heard my teenage daughters say NP, and I had to have a talk with them about it, lol! I also hate No worries!
Laura: Thanks for the post. I’ve not yet thought about ‘No worries.’ It, too, falls in the category of what’s appropriate, depending on the exact situation. Overall, NP and NW are used, all too often, inappropriately. Happy Practicing!
What if someone says, "I'm sorry I bothered you" — isn't it ok to say, it's never a bother or not a problem.
The definition of "problem" is: a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome
So when someone apologizes, it makes perfect sense to say: Not a problem.
Jillian: Yes, you are correct, it does depend on specific situations whether ‘no problem’ is a correct response. The example you’ve shared is an appropriate response. Thank you for asking.
No Problem! LOL
I agree. It questions why others say this … as it becomes a problem for me !!
It makes it sound as if a favor was done for you when usually it is a paid duty that the person is responding to. Returning change is due to one by a paid employee shouldn’t elicit the No problem … I think we either can directly inform the person or just know that they mean You’re Welcome; either tell them or post signs or just ignore it.
It bugs me, too, to no end; Stamping it out needs to begin in English Class.
Thanks; hope you encounter no more problems.
Betty: Thank you for the post. All I want is for folks to think about the words they use to be the most accurate and appropriate to every situation in life. There are a handful of situations saying ‘no problem’ could be appropriate. However, and regrettably, more times it’s used less appropriately which is why I wrote the post. Happy Practicing!
Iam in agreement with you,I was wondering why I’d feel so Irritated after some said “no problem “
I agree, I will also try to stomp out "No Problem" as well. However I do use it, so it will be hard, but worth it. FYI, try not to put "Happy" in front of words, sounds like people are trying to hard to seem happy. Happy Friday, happy Tuesday. Yeah, doesn't work for me. Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Easter, Happy Valentine's day, sure, part of what we know. But to add it to Happy practicing, be more original. Liked your overall message though, please don't take me wrong. Thank you for the article.
DJ: Thank you for taking the time to write. Regarding the use of Happy Practicing, it’s a phrase I’ve used since starting the business over 20 years ago. If you agree Happy Thanksgiving, Happy East, and Happy Valentine’s Day are appropriate, it is from this perspective I am wishing a person a happy time in celebrating practicing etiquette skills, regardless of how known it is in the universe. For those who follow my work, you are now a part of our happy family of subscribers who believe in Happy Practicing! All the best!
Personally, I think you're over re-acting a bit. I'm not sure if you're an English major and desperate to apply some of what you've learned to your reality or simply are much more sensitive than others.
While I appreciate that you want to adhere to proper English, I'll offer two small defenses.
"My Pleasure" is largely associated with the food chain Chick-Fil-A (because that is the required response by employees) and in America is more of a reference than an actual response. Almost a joke now?
"You're Welcome" just sounds oddly formal in most retail situations and can come out very sarcastically very easily.
Anyway, maybe take a trip to the spa and find something else to get so worked up over. 🙂
Marie: Thank you for taking the time to write.
Posts of any kind are meant to share points of view. No defenses are needed. You have your opinion and I have mine. In writing this article, I was merely sharing my thoughts on this topic and respect your thoughts to be posted, as well. Happy Practicing!
I was so relieved to read your post. I am vindicated. Chick-Fil-A has a great customer service training program–the best! I am the next "guest" and I never hear the response "no problem". It is always their pleasure to serve me. The difference between a couple of words is powerful.
When I hear the response "no problem," I respond, "WHEW! I'm so relieved I didn't cause any problems for you."
Another phrase that bites me? "It is so cheap!" Not cheap! "Reasonably priced" or "affordable."
Thank you for your post.
Joan: Thanks for the post. Another word to add to your list to counter the word cheap is inexpensive or less costly. Keep the posts coming!
I absolutely agree with you that when someone replies "no problem" to something that I never felt was a problem or burden to begin with, it absolutely makes me bristle. However, that doesn't mean the phrase is never appropriate. I suppose in situations where a possible problem was averted, it could be used. And whenever a young person tells me "no worries" I actually feel good. I think that one is very reassuring. As an older person (54), though, neither phrase is commonly used by me, and I have no difficulty saying "You're welcome," and find it hard to comprehend why young people find that so awkward. On the other hand, I disagree with you that "De rien" and "De nada" are comparable to "No problem". IMO those are very gracious. To say "it was nothing" is just to imply that the favor or task performed was relatively insignificant or no trouble at all. I think that's what the users of "no problem" are trying unsuccessfully to convey, but to me it would be much better if they simply said "It was nothing" or just say "De nada" even to an English speaker. Everyone knows what that means.
Irene: Thank you for taking a moment to write your post. Keep writing any time.
I agree
I thought I was the only one!
Thank goodness!
I completely agree. 'No worries ' also makes me furious. I first encountered this from my assistant at work. I was simply thanking her for her help. I suddenly discovered that my request for help could have caused a inconvenience/worry/ problem for her when she responded ' no worries'!
I loved your writing and all the comments,
I experienced this 'no problem' everyday at my workplace with one of my colleagues, at the end of the conversation with him, he finished with no problem, english is not my first language and still I noticed, I wondered why he's saying that? it sounded to me inappropriate, disconnected and out of place, than I pointed out at him in a friendly way..oh I know when you want to end the discussion and show that you are disinterested..you say no problem, and he answered again like a machine: no problem..
later I fell into the habit, I caught myself infected by using it.
I agree with Haifa saying: "It’s a colorless meaningless word that does not really tell the other person what you think or how you feel.So it distorts communication."
Please if you can make an article about the usage of "isn't it" where I work in London uk, people use it at the end of every sentence when they talk and it's nauseating..,
maybe I am wrong but this tells me their narrow way how they see things, looks like they dont leave place for other opinion but assume for you to automatically agree with what they are saying "innit" NO IT IS NOT YOU SELFISH IDIOT, and the worse of it, they are employees at the customer's service, they say innit and leave, the same people who ask or express their rude way of greeting..you ok ye?
Thank you
So true, and a huge, sad, issue on "Lawn Guyland" NY.
"NP": The motto of the doomed and brainless.
No manors.
No sincerity.
No creativity.
No future.
Sad.
Very sad.
Lawn Guyland sad.
No Problem is perfectly acceptable. Whatever the action was, my response was perfectly within the pervue of things I felt I could do in assistance.
Had there been some problem, I would have chosen not to help. Do not ever ask me if there was a problem before unless you really need to hear that again.
Generally, I speak English, and others. The others are all sort of second languages as I sometimes make mistakes when I forget a word in one language and accidently substitute a third language. As Spanish is one of my 'others', sometimes I do occasionally reply ningun problema when someone has the good grace to say thank you.
Most of the time though I tend to reply "no worries". This is in reponse to either 'Thank you' or the newer trend in 'I appreciate you'. Either actually seems to be an acknowledgement of some expenditure of effort, which is appreciated on my part.
"No worries" usually means I would do it again if needed. Do not see why anyone would have a problem with this sentiment.
"No problem"? Clearly that isn't the case, because you have a SERIOUS problem. You think that being a cold, transactional critic is polite.
When you say "you're welcome" you are indicating that someone else, or in other circumstances, they might NOT be welcome to your help, or even to ask for it. You are saying that it is only because you are deigning to be gracious that they can ask a favor.
Helping other people should be a perfectly routine thing, always. When someone asks for help with something, and I am able to give it, that is literally "not a problem", and when I say so, I am reassuring them that is ALWAYS the case. Responding to the entreaty of another is not a perk I bestow upon them, it is my duty to my neighbor as a Christian (or any ethical person, really), and they should never worry, or fear that they are problem.
Christian: Your comment is well taken for the situation you’ve described. Saying “not a problem” is different than saying, ‘no problem.’ The example cited in the article on when not to use ‘no problem’ as the response for the check-out person while giving change to a customer at a grocery store is still an appropriate response. Thank you!
I like, of course when it’s not a problem
Nige: That’s it! Why say, “no problem” when it’s not a problem in the first place. Thanks for writing.
The problem with saying “no problem” is that it seems to convey that, if it is NOT said, the expectation is that there IS a problem. This is a very negative outlook.
Paul: Thank you for the comment.
I agree.
I think we have lost this battle. I am 85 and a retired editor. I have to face the fact that almost everyone is younger than I am and they mostly say "no problem." Get used to it! Let's fight for "fewer than"!
Miriam: Thank you for your post. As a senior citizen, myself, the battle over saying less or fewer is equally a battle many people do not understand its proper use because it is not being taught.
Who is P.G.Woodhouse?
Dave: “Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse [not Woodhouse], KBE was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. Wikipedia. He wrote one of my favorite fictional comic characters, Jeeves, who was a phenomenally wise butler in English society, and who always knew best what to do.
I respond with “oh I didn’t think it would be a problem!”
Isabel: Thank you. I’ve also heard people saying, “Thank you.” I’m glad there wasn’t/isn’t a problem.”
Correct Finaly N Happy crusade to the No Probs No Problemo No Problema n NO PROBLEM in fact in my opinion No Problem has become a Problem in of itself As person with Dyslexica there ate mire creative n correct ways Starting with the simple Say no Problems in its context not as a thanku or you're Welcome As mentioned My Pleasure Or you are welcome Most Welcome. Its lazy way of speaking
Hello Fayb: Naturally, I agree. Thank you!
Hallelujah! Finally, "no problem" is getting the attention it deserves. It should be struck from the language. My teeth grind every time I hear it!
If I am having a polite disagreement with someone, and we come to terms, a kind "no problem" is a good way to move on. But as a substitute for the appropriate 'You're Welcome" is both rude and sometimes condescending.
Thank you for shining light on this annoying and common bit. Now, if someone would please tackle the elimination of "I'm like", as a substitute for "I said", I will be very happy indeed!!
But I am afraid that Elvis has left the building on that one!
Hello Mark D: I truly appreciate your post. You’ve made my day… Thank you!
I'm am so much in agreement. I wonder what happened to common courtesy and I often find those offensive because no problem is used to counter and apology or for making special requests. Recently I got a blood donation call to schedule an appointment. After a time was found the rep on the phone said No problem." I hadn't made a special request, apology or imposition. I asked her she said "No problem." I'm offering a service of giving blood. I just think people are not trained to be service-minded or professional in a service setting. There is no common courtesy in our society. I don't hear from BloodWork "Thanks for your donation." Instead, the worker concludes the appointment with "no problem." It's just so awkward.
Here's what's worse. We've come to the point where we, the customers, are thanking service people for helping us. It's supposed to be the other way around.
As the customers, they should be thanking us for our visit. That's how it used to be. That's why it's all turned around. How often do they? It's so rare.
When I make a purchase, I should immediately hear, "thank you!". Instead I hear, "have a nice day" or words to that effect. They should be grateful for my patronage. The fact that I shopped there, ate a meal there, or whatever, helped them keep their job.
They should say "thank you" and I'll say "you're welcome".
The only difference is if I ask to see something for something and they hand it to me, or a waiter puts down a plate in front of me.
I can't believe I have to explain simple etiquette, but it's really because no one teaches it at home or in school any longer.
Wow. Get over yourself.
AMEN BROTHER
Good Lord. "No Problem" is a more than acceptable response to "Thank You"
The Kindness someone did for you wasn't a problem or an inconvenience.
JacobS: What you have written may be true from your thinking. However, the whole point is why choose to have habits of using words/phrases that may have negative meanings? Instead, we all should strive toward only using the most positive and accurate words when speaking that can never be misinterpreted. Thank you!
About 30 years ago, I worked at a place that was visited by then Prince Charles (now King Charles III). I somehow found myself in the receiving line as he entered. He greeted
each of us as we were introduced said a few words to each person. When he reached me, he apologized for the fuss that had been made for his visit. How did I respond? NO PROBLEM. And 30 years later I still don't know what came over me at that minute!
Oh thank goodness, I thought it was just me! It has bothered me for way too long and when I hear it I usually say something like “oh i know, I didn’t think it was a problem” while getting a blank stupid stare like “what?” But, I do approve of it when I ask for a request that is separate or different or extra, and they say no problem, I’m cool with that.
When someone is asking for something difficult or inconvenient but the person wants you to know it's not really difficult or inconvenient such as asking for a favor it's appropriate to say "no problem".
Cheryl: The intent of this article is not to say “never” use the term no problem; rather use it appropriately. In your scenario of asking or doing something difficult, inconvenient, or asking for a favor, would be appropriate to say no problem in response to a thank you shared. Again, it makes no sense to say no problem when receiving change at the checkout counter. Thank you for taking the time to ask.
I agree! No problem infers that one may not have deserved the help, but you did it anyway. My response to “no problem” is “I didn’t think it was” or “I hope not”.
Thank you for taking the time to submit your comment. It’s all about the appropriateness of when to say, no problem.
I am with you 100%. I go through a drive-thru and the person hands me my food, I say "thank you" they reply with "no problem" I say, "I should hope not."
I get looks of confusion.
Saying "no problem" in lieu of saying "you're welcome" implies that it would have been an inconvenience or a problem to provide you with the service you are paying for at their establishment.
I see it as a breakdown in politeness and manners in what should be a civilized society.
Incidentally, my personal campaign is, conscious word choice. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone made the effort and make conscious word choices before opening their mouths. Conscious Word Choice, feel free to pass it on.
Michelle: You have made my day with your comment… Thank you! I, too, believe in Conscious Word Choice, meaning to care about using correct, precise, and accurate words whenever speaking and writing. Often people choose the wrong words because of not being properly educated in knowing the true definitions of specific words… i.e. conscience vs. conscious.
I agree with you entirely and just had a long discussion about this with my teenager on this topic. What I find similarly inappropriate and disturbing is the use of “no worries.” Under my breath I usually répond that I “was not worried to begin with. »
Hello Julie: Thanks for the comment. There is a time and place for everything. To say ‘no worries’ is a phrase I used recently when a person forgot to call me at a time we had arranged. I was working away and didn’t realize the time until 15 minutes later, myself. When I called her, she was most apologetic, and my response was ‘No worries.’ In this instance, I believe it’s appropriate to use this phrase because I truly didn’t want her to be concerned I was upset with her and might hold a grudge. There are far fewer situations “No problem” is ever appropriate to say.
I am 100% with you, Syndi.
I shared your article on LinkedIn, the only social media I engage in.
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/elena-chang_saying-no-problem-is-not-proper-etiquette-activity-7086442008482902016-U_Vt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
It’s an uphill battle, but we shouldn’t give it up!
Thank you for the campaign
My most painful encounter with "no problem" was this: A former high school student of mine, by that time in his 20s, asked to use me as a reference on a job application. I happily consented. However, when the potential employer phoned, he was more interested in hiring me (in addition to my former student). We made an appointment for me to go to his office and talk to him. I drove about 30 minutes, and when I arrived he wasn't even in the building. I phoned him and told him we'd made an appointment, he was not there, and he'd wasted over an hour of my time. He cheerfully said, "Not a problem!" as if I had done something wrong and apologized to him!
The most annoying, trite and unoriginal words are: "assome" and "my friend." It's like a desease that everyone caught and sadly reflects a hive society. Don't be one of the herd!
Hello James: thanks for your post. From my perspective, and based on some
“What I think are misspelled words, I do believe the use of certain words as fillers can be like a disease, i.e. “you know” and “right” with each sentence, and saying awesome and perhaps “me and my friend” do equally drive me up a wall. I continue to ask: why can’t people choose to speak in proper and appropriate language and words? It is a sign of lack of education and care.
That’s it for today on this topic. Thank you.
No pr ( I don't want to type it) it becoming a throw away two word phrase. Some will say it without thought. Recently a company had made a mistake and then even at the end of the call they said ' no problem ' . I told them the phrase is as inappropriate given the situation. Is it about the situation or the person saying they haven't got a problem ? I mean life is full of problems and well….so what ? It's part of being alive.
Thanks for taking the time to
post your perspective. It’s becoming a hotter topic.
I say “No problem” or “Not a problem” when helping others such as my boss or people I work with to reassure them that whatever the issue, it’s not a problem that can’t be fixed. I enjoy providing this reassurance and I’ll keep enjoying my use of the phrase “no problem.”
Keilyn: Your post is right on. There are times when saying no problem or not a problem is appropriate. Your example is among them. Thanks for sharing.
This bad example of saying “No Promblem”. Is a way for young people to say that , I don’t care what you think, a rebellion of respect for their elders. Many times I have to correct people younger than I am, to not call me by my first name. If I don’t give you permission to do so. I still put a handle in front of peoples names, some younger than myself, I also ask them, how I should address them. People would get along better if they put others before themselves. When we send out cards to jobs etc. we don’t send out No promblem letters, we have enough sense to know. “ Thank you”, is thee appropriate reply.
I do not mean to be offensive however, for my purpose, this seems a little extreme. Change is one thing in our world which is constant. Like anything else languege will change with time. We should not be determined to beat it out any more than we are the modernization of cars. Though I can understand why a person might feel this way in regards to their view on ettiquete, it seems it is more subjective then objective in view. Thank you.
I’ve always hated the expression & when I hear it I’m sure I have a sour look on my face, or at least wince!
I do not like "no problem" as it ends with *problem" and this is problematic.
Hello!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
my husband and I question, "Why?" every time we hear, "No problem".
You helped us to understand why it is so unnerving.
Because it implies that there was a problem when I was thanking someone for what they did for me.
"Why would it be a problem?" is in my thoughts everytime!
You are most welcome. Glad you enjoyed my thinking on this topic.
I don't mind hearing 'no problem', but one that really grates on me is people saying 'nice to see you' instead of 'hi' or 'hey'. It's on the same scale as people saying 'good morning' as an auto-greeting in the office, but so much more irritating.
If you don't really mean it and are just using it as a random greeting phrase it feels false and condescending. "Yeah…um I'm here because it's my job, not because I came to see you." On the other hand, hearing it from a friend while visiting, etc is perfectly fine and feels meaningful since they actually are glad to see you and aren't just filling the air with office-speak drivel.
Not quite as irritating as one word texts like 'sup' or 'k', but still pretty bad. Just speak normally for godssake, and drop the fake bs.
Dear Syndi,
I have great difficulty being on the receiving end of "no problem", during any type exchange between persons, even texting.
I just now explained to someone, via text, that I was involved with caring for my Mother's physical distresses and therefore too busy to speak over the phone.
The reply I received was, "no problem".
Sadly, this shows a lack of understanding on the other person's part.
The response, “No problem or No worries” are phrases that have somehow been allowed to creep into the American vernacular. I find it to be too familiar, grammatically incorrect and insidiously aiding in the destruction of hearing the beauty of English spoken correctly. It is another way in which our society is abbreviating, not listening to what is being said or showing either their ignorance or their abilty to care. The proper response to, “Thank you” is quite simply,”You’re welcome or It’s my pleasure.” We are not asking if it was too difficult for them and are certainly not delving into what may be worrying about their job and if we were a part of the discord in their mental health.
Thank you notes are not only thoughtful, but serve to remind people of our own humanity. It does our soul good to acknowledge the importance of a gift, a kind deed or a special comment someone else has done on our behalf. It separates us from those who are lacking innate kindness and grace. Taking the time to write the Thank you note gives us a moment to focus on the goodness of other and that chain of kind thinking carries to the recipient who also feels good. It’s a way to spread good feelings and love and leads to a more caring society.
Etiquette is something that is necessary if this ever more crowded, violent and divided society is to continue on in peace and civility. Call a simple”Thank you” or “You’re welcome “ old fashioned; and, a Thank you note outdated and unnecessary , but it’s what makes us human. You see the person’s handwriting and that brings you closer. You know that someone was happy to help you and it makes you happy. When we all have a little extra happiness in our souls and feel closer to one another, it makes dissension and flip
Behaviors towards one another a little bit more difficult. It makes this world a little bit easier in which to live. Those two things are a small price to pay for a more peaceful community, County, State, Country or potentially, the world.
I am in complete agreement with you about this subject. My recent experience is this: we moved to a location with one restaurant. It is nice, except the regular food server there says "not a problem" over and over again. Last time we were there, I observed as she said this to every patron–I lost count at over 50 times. I don't know what is going on, but something is broken.
What’s more annoying than sayin no problem? NO WORRIES! I absolutely loathe hearing that phrase. I’m far from proper, but I always say thank you.
In fact, the truth is exactly the opposite. The present generation, from all conversations I've had with them, states that they do not have to help people at all. They say that our generation, which uses these words of politeness is wrong in thinking that doing the right thing and/or expecting people to be helpful and kind is right.
I've had conversations with young people and they outright say that the use of "you're welcome" means they're pleased to help, while they actually might not be. "No problem" indicates a refusal to accept your thanks, and is more of a "yeah, whatever" comment. This "whatever" attitude is exactly what is wrong with the younger generations. It is noncommittal and leaves you unsure as to the exact meaning of their words, therefore you walk away with the belief that they simply couldn't care less about the customer, their job, or anything else around them. I have stopped doing business with places who don't know how to, at the very least, teach their employees some manners. While they may not have any once they leave their job, they should at least have them on the job, or they don't deserve my business. I can get the same attitude from a computer. This is why I avoid places like Wal-Mart, etc and go to family run stores.
I do agree that it's "generational". For generations people have been taught manners and have known how to behave in polite society correctly. I taught my kids how to as well. They are in their late 20s and early 30s. They still know how to say please and thank you. It's about how you're raised. If you raise your kids how to behave properly, that's what you'll get. If you raise them like animals, they'll behave like animals. My ex husband is an ex partially because he didn't know how to behave. Treat people with respect, not as if they don't matter, and we won't have the total decline of society like we do today. We're a mess because we are teaching our children that it's ok to be a mess. Stop excusing bad behavior. Expect more. Everyone doesn't get a trophy.
I agree. If I thought it were a problem I would not have asked
I’m a customer service educator working for a large cardiac monitoring company. I tell all my students and trainees that nothing irks me more than hearing someone say “no problem,” instead of “You’re welcome;” I could not agree with you more.
I’m not alone!
Another of my pet peeves is “you’re fine”. It’s almost worse than “no problem” . There are so many things wrong with both of these.
My go-to is usually “happy to help”.
nah it’s just a u problem, I don’t get how it’s offensive
Robin:
Thank you for your message. I understand how it may not be clear why the phrase “no problem” can be considered offensive. It can indeed be confusing. I appreciate how this article has sparked such a discussion, which means you are now more aware of the issue. Please continue to pay attention to when you hear this phrase being used, so you can better understand when it is appropriate and when it is less so. Happy Practicing!
I feel that this reply, “No Problem”, to the expression,“Thank You”, is offensive and insulting. But just as important is the reflection on the person who uses “No Problem” as a reply. It makes that individual sound stupid, ignorant with bad manners and totally lacking in true appreciation of the recipient of this remark. But herein lies the real issue, those using this remark just don’t care. Thank God for more intelligent people who know to reply, “You are welcome” or “My pleasure”. Sad.
Thank you for addressing the concept of “no problem” in etiquette! Your exploration of how this phrase can sometimes be misused or misunderstood highlights an important aspect of effective communication. I appreciate the examples and insights you’ve provided on how to navigate social interactions with greater sensitivity and clarity. This article is a valuable resource for understanding the nuances of polite conversation and maintaining respectful interactions. Excellent work on shedding light on this often-overlooked aspect of etiquette!
In the field of customer service, the phrase “No problem” can inadvertently convey a sense of inconvenience or a lack of genuine appreciation. Instead, opting for expressions like “You’re welcome” or “My pleasure” exudes warmth and gratitude, reinforcing a positive interaction. From my personal experience working in customer service, I found that using more appreciative language not only elevated the customer’s experience but also fostered a more respectful and engaging dialogue. For instance, when a customer thanked me for resolving an issue, responding with “You’re welcome” rather than “No problem” always left them with a smile, underscoring the importance of mindful communication in building lasting rapport.
this strikes me as you feel bad for being inclined to say “you’re welcome” because helping people doesn’t feel as natural to you, thus “no problem” doesn’t serve how you feel about helping people.
to you, helping people is earned and must be deserved, and you feel that “no problem” belittles the help offered.
in fact, thats the point of “no problem”. “no problem” s purpose is to make sure the person being helped knows they werent a burden to the helper, that it was no problem to help them.
“you’re welcome” is what you say when you want a pat on the back, it acknowledges that you did something for them, and thats it. no problem does both 1) acknowledging you did something for them, and 2) that you don’t need to worry about it being inconvenient. its superior in that way, because it serves both the person saying it and the person hearing it, assuming they’re a person who is cares about the helper.
another thing i noticed is the folks who prefer “youre welcome”, are the ones who say youre welcome instead of no problem. notice that people who say “no problem” aren’t annoyed about “youre welcome”. so many interesting little things to take in about this pedantic topic.
Hello Aaron: Thank you for your post. I appreciate when people take the time to share their thoughts on a topic. This is exactly what public discussions are meant to do. While they may seem pedantic at times, this is the essence of it, isn’t it? I share my thoughts, and you are doing the same. Happy Praciticing!
Get a grip. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying “no problem” as a response to “thank you”. all you old crusty entitled nerds need to get off your high horse.
Hello Skooter:
I agree with your post. The purpose of the article was to highlight the sensitivity surrounding the use of the phrase “no problem.” In your example, responding to a thank you with “no problem” is appropriate, given the right scenario. Happy Practicing!