Have you been interrupted or called an interrupter? The first one is common, unfortunately. I admit to the latter, which is not good and been working to stop this behavior ever since.

For our purposes, Webster’s Dictionary defines interrupt as:

• To stop or hinder by breaking, as in: interrupted the speaker with frequent questions
• To break in upon an action, especially: to break in with questions or remarks while another is speaking.

So, here are 8 tips to consider for both the interrupted and interrupter:

For the Interrupted:

1. Allow the interrupter to finish his or her comment. Then calmly say, “Please forgive me, you interrupted me when I wasn’t quite finished.” Then continue your comments, or story.
2. You could disregard the interrupter and keep on talking. Pretend you didn’t hear the interruption and hope that the interrupter gets the hint that you’re not acknowledging his or her inappropriate behavior.
3. Some say it’s fine to interrupt the interrupter. To me this is not a good approach, as in “two wrongs don’t make a right.” Doing so can also lead to the behavior being perpetuated. That said, I’ve also seen it work.
4. Following an incident, approach the interrupter privately to share how you felt the behavior was both disruptive and disrespectful. Explore ways to help prevent it from happening again.
5. At a meeting, create communication guidelines. Decide ahead of time who will speak first and how to know when it is the other person’s turn.
6. Set time limits: Every group meeting should have agendas and timelines, showing everyone how long a speaker has and when Q&A and discussions will take place.
7. Acknowledge an interruption and then decline it. Say something like, “Gosh, Jane, I know you want to speak with me now; however, I’m in the middle of a report that’s due by noon. May we speak later today at 3 p.m., or perhaps tomorrow sometime? I want to give you my undivided attention.”
8. There might be times when others must interrupt you to be heard, because you may be a conversation hog. (See the following for more tips on this topic.  (Also at: https://www.advancedetiquette.com/2010/03/conversation-hog/) If so, learn to speak in short declarative sentences, so others won’t be feel the need to break in.

For the Interrupter:

1. Of course, it should always be your goal to never interrupt others in any way. Always allow a person to finish their comments before interjecting your own.
2. If you must interrupt, say, “Please excuse me, may I interrupt?” or “Please forgive me, I must to interrupt.” This works in most situations, when it’s important to gain the attention of someone who is otherwise engaged… particularly when at an event, in a meeting, and perhaps when you’re a presenter.
3. When expressing a quick hello, say, “Please excuse me, I just want to say a quick hello.” Look the person in the eyes and give him or her a brief handshake (or a hug, if you know the person well). Then move on. If the person says it’s fine to stay, you may do so. If the person says nothing further, that’s your cue to exit.
4. When at a restaurant or event, instead of physically interrupting a person’s meal or conversation, catch the person’s eye with a wave of your hand or nod, as the sign of a quick hello. Then, if you want to get in touch, follow up with an email or phone call, saying something like, “It was great to see you at the restaurant last night. I didn’t want to interrupt, yet seeing you reminded me we should chat or have coffee one day soon…”
5. Never interrupt someone’s phone conversation, except in an emergency. Instead, jot the person a note with your direct phone number, such as, “Please call me a.s.a.p. at X number when you’re off the phone,” and sign your name. This way the person has the note as a reminder and you won’t be hanging around to overhear what may be a private conversation.
6. When on a phone call, make every effort not to interrupt the person speaking. Give the person every opportunity to finish his or her comments before speaking. Without being seen, interruptions show much more on the phone than when in person.
7. Never interrupt a speaker on stage. Do you remember the big hoopla back in 2009, when Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards in New York? People consider this kind of inconsideration to be the worst display of all. Relive the moment here… (Also at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvaakT52RjQ).
8. We must also recognize the behavior of constantly interrupting everyone might be a cultural behavior that is practiced among specific groups. Try to determine when it’s acceptable and when it’s not, as in when to slurp soup or not.

The bottom line is to always respect the person who’s speaking and show respect for the interrupter. How you choose to handle various situations is all about being considerate, respectful, and honest at all times.

ACTION ITEM:  If you have specific situations you want resolved, let me hear from you by using the comment box below.

Happy practicing!